And so once again I go to bed alone,
unexpected though it should have been expected;
without my lover curled around me,
without my lover in my arms.
I ready once again as the sunrises to go to sleep
envoloped in my world and my world alone.
I should have known, I should have been prepared.
Yet here I sit writing this in pain, in grief, in misery
because once again things have
not gone the way I was expecting them too.
He said he'd be here by yesterday,
he said he'd call before he left,
he said he'd leave today, but now today is tomorrow
and I know that by tomorrow he had not gone.
By tomorrow he was still living in the yesterday.
And now his connection is gone,
his connection to me is gone.
And I do not know now that tomorrow is today;
Now that tomorrow is today
I can only wonder if
yet another tomorrow
will turn into another yesterday;
and after
how many yesterdays will have to pass,
how many sunrises I will have to watch
as I ready to bed and to sleep.
How many tomorrows
there will be until
it is finally today
and he is here in my arms.
Oct 18th 2002