Alma Mater of 3rdCKs
Friends of 3rdCKs
Voices of 3rdCKs
Characteristics of 3rdCKs
If you are a 3rdCK, you have no doubt found that you tackle life differently than many of your peers. This should come as no surprise. You are different. Below are some characteristics you may relate to as a 3rdCK. Just click on any of them to find out more information.- "Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt." OR The expanded world view.
- "You ate what in Uruguay?" OR Cross cultural skills.
- "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" OR Bilingual skills.
- "You don't act like your that young." OR Higher maturity levels.
- "What is home?" OR Lack of ownership.
- "Willing to Relocate?: PLEASE OR Restlessness.
- "But 'friends' is such a strong term." OR Uncertainty in Relationships.
- "I can handle it." OR Unresolved grief.
1. "Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt." OR The expanded world view.
3rdCKs have seen much and done much. The opportunities that are afforded them only because of location are phenomenal. 3rdCKs get to see parts of the world, and learn more about different cultures. To them, things aren't foreign, just different. Because of this, it has been noted that 3rdCKs are good observers, less judgemental, and less prejudicial.2. "You ate what in Uruguay?" OR Cross cultural skills.
It isn't too hard to figure out that dealing with other cultures is much more than understanding the language. 3rdCKs understand that different cultures have different values. They understand that it is important to understand another's culture when trying to relate to them. They understand that different cultures have different values, different currency, and different traditions. This knowledge and these skills make the 3rdCK better listeners and better communicators.3. "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" OR Bilingual skills.
It should come as no surprise to find out that 3rdCKs are often bilingual or multilingual. When a 3rdCK is younger and living in a foreign country, they pick up the language much easier than most adults. Often military personel overseas send their kindergarten age children to a civilian school. The child may have some difficulty at first relating to his or her peers, but eventually picks up the language, dialect, and accent of those in the same class.4. "You don't act like your that young." OR Higher maturity levels.
It has been documented that 3rdCKs are often two to three years ahead of their peers. They have seen more and done more. 3rdCKs are often more comfortable interacting with adults than with peers. Especially if they are thrust back into an environment where they are among "normal" citizens of the same passport.5. "What is home?" OR Lack of ownership.
For most 3rdCKs, the most grueling question is usually "where are you from?" Usually, this question is just meant to make small talk, but for the 3rdCK, this question can sometimes render a list of places pretty long. The average 3rdCK experiences eight major moves my the age of 18.
It doesn't take all that many moves to throw the 3rdCK into a state of confusion at that question. One 3rdCK, whose father was in the U.S. Air Force said that he only moved three times, but that was still enough to throw him off. He explains:
My dad was stationed in one place for 16 years. This is definitely not normal. I was born there and lived there until I was 12. We lived in the same place where my mom grew up. I knew all of my relatives, and saw them quite often. Eventually, the Air Force moved my dad to two other places before he retired in 1989. The last place we were stationed was in Germany. The funny thing, though, is that I still don't consider where I was born to be home. I guess I have changed a bunch.
6. "Willing to Relocate?: PLEASE" OR Restlessness.
75% of 3rdCKs change colleges at least three times. This comes about because of the need to move. In the military, families move about every three years. Many 3rdCKs, long after having "settled down" still feel the need to move every three to four years. It isn't too uncommon to find a 3rdCK living in an apartment for an extended period of time with very temporary surroundings.7. "But 'friends' is such a strong term." OR Uncertainty in Relationships.
Because of often leaving behind best friends all through their childhood, 3rdCKs are often hesitant to let others get too close. Many adult 3rdCKs are plagued by relational problems. The term "friend" is used much less often only because it implies something much deeper to them. The term "acquaintance" is used much more often.8. "I can handle it." OR Unresolved grief.
The average TCK experiences eight major moves by the age of 18. The constant good-byes, and leaving behind intense relationships often takes its toll on 3rdCKs. Add to that the frustration of coming "home" to a new culture and not being able to truly grieve over all of the losses can often lead to problems in the adult life of 3rdCKs. Many adults raised in the military still have scars today. When asked if they enjoyed their life int the military, the usually say "yes." When asked if they would want their children raised in the same environment, they usually say "no." It is often a grief that is masked, and sometimes never surfaces.This page was created and is maintained by Daneel R. Klanderman.
Last updated: February 15,1997.