I’m writing this story without the aid of a brain, so if it sucks, you know the reason. You see, it all started one night last month. It was a bright, clear night and the stars glowed fiercely against the midnight blue of the sky. There were a few puffy, light grayish-blue clouds scattered about. It was a perfect night--except for all the airplanes. On a normal night, there might be three or four airplanes in the sky at once. That night I counted fifteen, all their lights blinking and flashing. They also didn’t seem to have a specific flight pattern, but flew in confused circles around my neighborhood. As time went by, they started getting lower. Then I could see what they were flying around. From where I sat, it was a glint of silver and a circle of small red lights. I could only imagine what it looked like from the cockpits of those jets. Now, I’ve never been one to believe easily in anything, UFOs included. I thought that it must be simply a new spacecraft that the government was building. I figured it was over our neighborhood because of some navigational malfunction. That is, until it landed.
I live in a quiet neighborhood with lots of kids. We had a small park with a playground not far away. In fact, it was right across the street. I say was because it is no longer there. When the spaceship landed, it broke every piece into small splinters of wood, plastic, and even the metal. Now there are police lines around it, and a lot of strange looking people in white lab coats and rubber gloves are there day and night. I observed this landing from my front step. By the time I finally decided that it could be dangerous, I was frozen in half fear, half fascination. So of course, I was still there when the door opened.
Out came a hideous looking creature like the pictures of monsters in storybooks. He was eight or nine feet tall and had green leathery skin with warts and bumps all over it. His eyes were red. Drool dangled from his thick lips as they pulled back in a snarl, revealing a pin-sharp set of teeth that were yellow and cracked. Behind him came two mild-looking creatures with tear-shaped black eyes, and thin lips set on silky skinned, light purple, oval-shaped heads. They wore deep purple, sparkling cloaks so that no more of their bodies were revealed. They turned in a semi-circle, surveying the scene before them. A couple of the pilots had jumped from their airplanes after they landed. One was now studying them cautiously from behind a nearby tree. The rest were better hidden. And I, too big a fool to move, sat stock still on my front steps. One of the creatures motioned toward the pilot; the other shook his head and pointed at me. They barked a loud, incomprehensible order to the monster, and he started toward me. It didn’t take long. Actually, not even long enough for me to stand. His wart-covered claw reached for me, and I fainted.
I awoke in a room with metal walls and a lot of equipment with flashing lights. I tried to get up, and found that I was strapped to a metal stretcher. I looked around and saw that I was in the middle of the room. There was a light above me like the ones in the dentists’ office, but it was turned off. My head ached, but it didn’t feel like a regular headache. It was more on the outside, like I had hit my head, but all the way around. Then I saw the most frightening thing of all: a jar with a brain in it on a stand to my left. I passed out again.
This time when I awoke, the two creatures were standing over me, unlocking my restraints. I sat up quickly, but one of them gently pushed me back down. Then it spoke for the first time: "You must not sit up so fast, you will get very dizzy."
It had a very strange accent, but I could understand it perfectly. A very long discussion followed, but I will not write it because it would take too long, and probably bore you. What they told me was that they had taken my brain out and replaced it with a mechanical facsimile. They were going to take the brain home and test it, and then they would bring it back and replace it.
So now I sit on my front steps and wait. Doctors tested me and questioned me, but I’m afraid they didn’t learn much. You see, I have no emotions with my new brain, and it confuses them. Finally, they let me get back to sitting and waiting. I hope they return soon.