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Sniffing TomatoA vagrant, tropical fruit. The
second-largest sniffing fruit with a uniform orange-red colouration. To be
found sniffing melodies along the margins of fresh water puddles. Has habit
of sudden sighing motions with a shrill tweet. Scarce passage migrant,
breeds annually. 4cm. |
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Trumpeting BananaA distinctive yellow fruit
frequently mistaken for the equally common singing lemon, although the
latter has a considerably less bent shape. Chief trumpeting sounds include
a soft 'pharp' and a spluttering 'blurp'. When not breeding, to be found
weaving baskets from nasal hair. 11cm. |
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Whining AppleThe only all-green
musical fruit that has large red patches when breeding. In winter, it is
known to emit brown noises from its crevices. Its grotesque tri-pitched
mating call, which sounds like Celine Dion on cocaine, makes this a deeply
feared fruit. Breeds in underground bunkers. 1300 cm. |
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Barking CabbageNot really a fruit
at all, this barking vegetable is frequently mistaken for a fruit because of
its ability to bark classical music. In flight, this large green thing can
be seen excreting salad dressing. Breeds in Finland, where it is worshipped
like a god. 3 mm. |
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Laughing AvocadoA large green fruit
whose constant laughing makes it a feared pest in 137 countries. This
creature should not be approached since its laugh has been known to cause
genital suffering. Any sightings should be reported to the International
Avocado Watch who will immediately dispatch a team to run away from it.
Breeds in a mail box outside a small house in Toronto. 135 km. |