Chapter Sixteen

AND OH WHAT HAPPENED THEN WAS RICH

"It's a good way to exercise," Penelope Lopez said. "I hate to jog, all that sweating. I feel awful jogging, but doing yoga is just as good for you. It stretches your muscles then relaxes them. Maybe I'll reach nirvana someday. It doesn't cost anything. I hope so because I'm tired of working, especially here. Dave and Margo still haven't made me manager of this store or the other store they plan on opening. Nothing has happened. No benefits, no insurance, nothing."

Wilbur hauled pieces of plywood into the back of the store and listened to Penelope.

"I get my exercise lifting all this junk."

"That's too hard. Watch. This is one of the exercises."

Penelope stretched her hands high in the air, then bent forward until her hands reached the ground. After that, she kicked one leg backward then the other. Her entire body relaxed on the floor before the front part of her body rose up like she was trying to start a backward somersault. Finally, she went through the whole sequence in reverse until she returned to her original standing position.

"That looks like a squat thrust," Wilbur observed. "I used to do them in P.E."

"No, this is a yoga exercise. It must work because the yoga teacher is so serene and calm. You can hear it in her voice. She's so relaxed, and her body is in great shape, but I guess I would be serene, calm and relaxed too if my body was in great shape. I've got to lose another ten pounds for Miguel."

"You're not fat," Wilbur challenged her, but he knew his efforts were in vain.

"This is not a Cosmopolitan body," she lamented as she grabbed her midsection. "Flab! What can I say? This is one hundred percent all-American flab. I want to lose another ten pounds, and then I'll feel okay about my body."

"You're not fat. You're tall enough so it's not noticeable."

"I notice it. I was fat as a child. Our school put on the "Wizard of Oz," and I was a fat munchkin. I had one line. 'And oh what happened then was rich.' Once you're fat, you think fat the rest of your life. God, I hate carrot sticks and celery stalks," she complained, turning up the corners of her mouth in distaste.

There was something, though, about a woman who was calm, serene, relaxed, who had a soothing voice and a great body. Wilbur was immediately intrigued with this person that Penelope spoke about, even though he had never met her. He needed someone to fill the void in his life.

"Maybe I'll take a yoga class. Can you give me her name and phone number?" he asked.

"Sure," Penelope agreed.

xxx

A week later, Wilbur drove his rusty Volkswagen into the overfilled parking lot of the small shopping center. There were cars parked on the grass so it was hard to find a parking space.

"Get out of the way!" Wilbur yelled as he dodged an oncoming car driven by a man wearing an Hawaiian shirt. "Jesus Christ, can't these people drive? Am I invisible? Just because you're wearing an Hawaiian shirt with pineapple plants on it doesn't mean you can run my ass over!"

After he calmed down, Wilbur eventually found a parking space. The Sunlight Yoga Society was located between a large pizza parlor and a seafood tavern. On the window of the Sunlight Yoga Society, he spied a large Plexiglas sun which was sliced up like a pizza with each section a different color.

Wilbur walked to the front of the building. A blue Mercedes Benz pulled into a parking space nearby. A sparkling couple dressed in his-and-her, blue jogging outfits got out and walked into the Sunlight Yoga Society.

A Porsche arrived. A BMW was next. An Audi pulled up. Then a white junker arrived. It was a decrepit Oldsmobile 98 and was as large as a steamboat and as loud as the percussion section of a high school marching band. Two women were in it. The driver had a blonde ponytail and her passenger had shoulder-length auburn hair. The Oldsmobile 98 crept through the parking lot as laboriously as a reptile, then finally came to a stop amidst the sound of grinding brakes and aching springs. When its two occupants got out they were dressed as fashionably in leotards and tights as the other women students. Gradually, all the people driving these vehicles walked into the Sunlight Yoga Society.

Wilbur, who wore a T-shirt, frayed shorts and large sneakers, finally went into the long, narrow room with dim lights. Scenic and tranquil nature posters decorated the walls. Between them were quotations from Yoga masters.

Then Wilbur saw her. Her name was Betty Joe Monticello. He instantly agreed with Penelope's summation. She had a beautiful body. After hearing her speak to one of the students, Wilbur knew her voice was as attractive as her body. In his estimation she was as lovely as Celeste Stuart and even his great love, Debra Canosa.

That night Betty Joe was dressed in black leotards. She had long brown hair. The outline of her body was a silhouette against the shadowy white walls. Wilbur was surprised though when she introduced herself to the class as "Shiszu."

"Tonight for our first class," Shiszu began, "we will do breathing exercises and learn some yoga positions."

Wilbur watched her quiet face with its finely chiseled features. Her lips quivered slightly as she talked. The juke box from the tavern next door vibrated against one wall. There was a constant, loud bass thud against the adjoining wall. Every so often there were shouts that could be heard through the cracker-thin wall, "Three drafts over here" or "a dozen on the half shell." From the other wall came the sound of silverware chiming and pots and pans banging against each other in the pizza parlor kitchen.

"Can you speak a little louder?" one of the students asked Shiszu.

"Yes. Physicists have shown us that everything is made of vibrations. Everything is in motion. Each person has his or her own vibration."

Wilbur listened to the walls, and they too had their vibrations.

He paid attention to Shizsu as she demonstrated a yoga exercise. She showed one called "the Bridge." From a reclining position on her back she raised herself high into the air. Her back was in a bow, and she held herself there for a count of ten, then she lowered herself down onto her backside.

She displayed another position. She laid on her back, then contorted herself into a fetal position by pulling her knees up to her head. Then she wrapped her arms tightly around her knees.

"This exercise is good for the stomach muscles, the lower lumbar region and for the digestive tract in general."

She held herself in the position for a few moments.

"This is known in English as the wind-relieving position, and as the name implies, it assists in relieving problems associated with gas," she explained matter-of-factly. "Let's try it together."

The class was spaced in two rows with the members in each row about three feet apart. She paced back and forth, watching the individual members as they executed the simple wind-relieving exercise. She offered encouragement and corrections when it was needed.

"Knees together, now bring them forward. Hold your knees, wrap your arms around your knees tightly. Remember your breathing. Remember when to hold your breath. Remember when to breathe. Now hold for a count of eight. One...two...".

Wilbur held himself in the wind-relieving position, and so did everyone else in the class.

"Three...four...".

The room was moderately dark, and the walls still vibrated. The woman next to Wilbur couldn't control herself. There was a vibration coming from her exercise rug with some assistance from the wind-relieving position. Nobody could see who it was, except that the noise was coming from Wilbur's direction. Her vibration continued.

"Seven...eight," Shiszu said rapidly.

Finally, the woman got up, still not able to control herself. Her shadow quickly disappeared as she sprinted to the restroom at the back of the room. Wilbur recognized her as either the driver of the Porsche or the Audi. He couldn't decide which one.

xxx

"Yoga really works," Wilbur announced to Penelope the next time he saw her at The Dream Mechanic. "Learning when to hold your breath is helpful too."

Penelope nodded in agreement although his interest in the subject and its techniques surprised her.