 | Dear Aunt Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. |
| Dear Master, me & Fido took the car. You stay home! Stay!--Rover |
| Deceased Wizard: Abbra Cadaver |
| Definition of a pessimist - an optimist with experience. |
| Dehydrated H2O enclosed - just add water and stir! |
| Deja Brew: the feeling that you've had this beer before. |
| Deja Nintendu: The feeling you've played this game before. |
| Deja Ooooo- You know you stept into this before. |
| Deja poo: Why new fathers know when to leave. |
| Please cut my pizza in six slices - I can't eat eight. |
| Mickey Mouse wears a Dan Quayle watch. |
| No good deed goes unpunished..an old Washington political proverb. |
| Facts are stupid things - R. Reagan |
| President QUAYLE????????? |
| Dan Quayle library burned! Both books destroyed! |
| Dan Quayle: A real Mr. potatoe head. |
| Writing to Washington won't help -- he's dead! |
| We're from the government and we're here to help you. |
| Watch for Dan Quayle in the Lays Potatoe ad! |
| Tired of phone scams? Call 1-900-U-FELL-4-IT. |
| "Wait a minute! Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you." Willy Wonka |
| When cows laugh, does milk come out of their noses? |
| Peace and harmony, citizen, or we disintegrate you. |
| Republican Health Plan: Failure to stay healthy is punishable by death. |
| Say, how *did* the Wicked Witch of the West take a bath? |
| The refrigerator light DOES go out. Now let me out of here. |
| "This is the best planet on Earth." Dan Quayle |
| If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn? |
| Deja voodoo: One of these days I'll pin it down... |
| Deja vu, all over again. |
| Deja who, When you nearly remember your name. |
| Denial is not a river in Egypt! |
| Desk: A very large wastebasket with drawers. |
| Despair: an extra tire in de trunk. |
| Despite the high cost of eating, it remains popular. 8-) |
| Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. |
| Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl missed aches. |
| Diagonally parked in a parallel universe. |
| Did we ever know the meaning of the word? |
| Did you ever wonder why they have Braille buttons on the DRIVE-UP ATM? |
| Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion? |
| Did you know 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary? |
| Dijon Vu: the feeling you've tasted this mustard before. |
| Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out. |
| Diplomacy is the art of saying 'nice doggy' until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers |
| Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse. |
| Dissent is the highest form of patriotism. -Tom Jefferson |
| Do androids dream of electric sheep? |
| Do files get embarrassed when you unZIP them? |
| DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND - The fault is with reality! |
| Do not disturb. Already disturbed. |
| Do something original -- Be kind to one another! |
| Do the voices in my head bother you? |
| Do unto others, then run. Benny Hill |
| Do we have to save the universe AGAIN?!?! |
| Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. Theodore Roosevelt |
| Do you have such a thing? |
| Do you know where your sex towel is? |
| Do you remember when safe sex was a padded headboard? |
| Does "anal retentive" have a hyphen? |
| Does a medical book have an appendix? |
| Does it really matter which cola I drink? |
| Does the Goddess have a belly-button? |
| Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? |
| Does the word incomprehensible mean anything to you? |
| Doesn't EVERYBODY wear tunics? |
| Dogs believe they are humans. Cats believe they are God. |
| Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines. |
| Domination is an inescapable tendency. - Machiavelli |
| Don't bite my finger; Look where I'm pointing! |
| Don't blame Congress. If I had billions, I'd be irresponsible, too! |
| Don't blame gravity on me, I voted for Velcro! |
| Don't confuse me with the facts! |
| Don't count your chickens before they cross the road. |
| Don't crush that dwarf! Hand me the pliers! |
| Don't do it with a banker. Most of them are tellers. |
| Don't ever tell anybody anything. - Salinger |
| Don't explain. Friends believe; Enemies never will. |
| DON'T fool around with the knobs. I'm perfectly adjusted. |
| Don't force it, get a larger hammer. |
| Don't forget to close your eyes when reading a scary book. |
| Don't give me that kinkier-than-thou attitude! :) |
| Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon. |
| Don't make MORE nukes 'til we use the ones we've got! |
| Don't open your eyes, you won't like what you see. |
| Don't quit the day before the miracle happens! |
| Don't take life so seriously. It's not forever. |
| Don't threaten ME with weird food, girl! (Kelandris) |
| Don't trust anything that moves - kill it instead. |
| Don't try to have the last word; you might get it.--L. Long |
| Don't worry, as long as I have me, I'll be OK. |
| Don't worry, it's just a transient idiopathic software anomaly. |
| Down with hostility, dammit!!! |
| Draft beer, not people. |
| Dragon riders do it in flight. |
| Dragon? What dragon? You said we were looking for a worm. |
| Dragonmen must fly when threads are in the sky. |
| Dragons make good Pets. Just get lots of newspaper. |
| Drat! forgot my tagline! |
| Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. |
| Drink deep and never thirst. |
| Drink your Coffee! There are people in India sleeping! |
| Drop your weapons or the tagline gets it. |
| Druids and Bards and........Shamans! Oh my!!! |
| Drunk Borg: Resilience is floor tile. Wannabe sim'lated? |
| Dry Ice: A Carbon Dioxymoron. |
| Dubious taste? Don't think I've ever cooked a dubious. |
| Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Borg, Borg, Borg, Duke of Borg ... |
| Dumb blond jokes are one liners so men can understand them. |
| Dwarven Seer escapes from jail! Small medium at large! |
| Dynamite with a laser beam... Guarenteed to Blow your mind... |
| Each of us contains an element of insanity. |
| Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. |
| Earning money would be fun if it wasn't so taxing. |
| Easy does it. |
| Eat quadrotriticale: 3.56x10^48 tribbles can't be wrong! |
| Eat right, get lots of exercise...die anyway. |
| Eat yogurt and get culture. |
| Eating uranium makes me feel funny, she said radiantly. |
| ebius tagline. This is a moebius tagline. This is a mo .. |
| Eeny Meeny Chili Beany, the Spirits are about to speak! |
| Eez beeg troble for moose and squirrel. |
| Effective Gun Control: Keep muzzle pointed at target. |
| Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness. |
| Egg-laden rabbit who jumps off bridges: the Easter Bungee |
| Electrical accidents can and do cause shocking injuries. |
| Elmer Fudd's having a bad hare day. |
| Elven warriors: We don't make no stinkin' cookies! |
| Impassioned lovers wrestle as one... |
| EMT's, the bondage experts. |
| Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery. |
| Ensign Pillsbury? He's BREAD, Jim! |
| Entropy isn't what it used to be. |
| Entropy Requires No Maintainence! |
| Environmentally friendly tagline: 100% recyclable. |
| Envision whirled peas. |
| Even for an alien, this one is pretty alien. |
| Even his inflatable doll cheats on him! -- Wench |
| Even paranoids have enemies. - Schwartz |
| Even the blunted word... is more honest than silence. - Nietzsche |
| Ever stop to think and forget to start again? |
| Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? |
| Ever wonder how deep the ocean would be if sponges didn't live in it? |
| Every 4 seconds a woman gives birth. We gotta find her and STOP her!!! |
| Every child should be given the desire to learn. |
| Every series has to have a truly bad episode, and here it is. |
| Everyone has a photographic memory, some don't have film. |
| Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid. |
| Everyone is weird. Some of us are proud of it. |
| Everything is in walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright |
| Everything is possible, but nothing of interest is easy. |
| Everything I've ever needed to know I've learned painfully. |
| Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb! |
| Evolution reverses when stupid people are encouraged to breed. |
| Exactly what part of the chicken is the McNugget? |
| Excuse me while I change into something more formidable. |
| Excuse me, but did a big hairy creature just run by here? |
| Excuse me, but that's Mr. Faggot to you. |
| Excuse me, I have to recharge my flame-thrower. |
| Excuse me. I hear a mundane begging to be taunted. |
| Expect the quest to break your heart at least once. |
| Experience is knowing a lot of things you shouldn't do again. |
| Experiencing Synoptical Difficulties, Please Stand By. |
| Explore the galaxy, meet new alien races, blow them up! |
| Extinction is too good for them. |
| Eye of newt, toe of frog & a sprig of parsley for my breath, please! |
| Eye of Newt, Toe of Frog, and a side of Fries Please. |
| Ezz beeg troble for moose and squirrel. |
| Face reality; yet, indulge yourself in fantasy and fairy tales. |
| Fact. Stranger than any science fiction. |
| Fact: most criminals were raised by heterosexual parents. |
| Facts are stupid things - R. Reagan |
| Failure is impossible. -- Susan B. Anthony |
| Famous Last Words #34: "Watch me goose that sleeping dragon!" |
| Fat is not a four letter word. If it were, then it would be fate. |
| Faux pas (n): When the mailman did it. |
| Fear and bullets. |
| Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. --Paula L. |
| Fear is the darkroom where negatives develop. |
| feats don't fail me now... |
| Features should be discovered, not documented. |
| Federation of United Capricorns. FUC, only the best. |
| Feel free to be as silly as you wish. |
| Feel good? Don't worry; you'll get over it! |
| Feminism is the radical notion that women are people. |
| Ferret: A Slinky with fur. |
| Ferrets? They're not ferrets. They're wombats with fangs. |
| Few problems cannot be solved by proper application of high explosives. |
| Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity. |
| Finish your coffee! There are people sleeping in India. |
| First listen to sermon, THEN eat missionary. |
| First there was the Word, and the fundamentalists misunderstood it. |
| Fishermen aren't dead; they just smell that way. |
| Flash! Fotomat burns to ground. No film at 11. |
| Flashlight: device for storing dead batteries. |
| Flattery works! (As you snow, so shall you reap.) |
| Flattery works! Especially on brilliant people like you! |
| Flying saucers are real; The Air Force doesn't exist. |
| Focus on making the good things better. |
| Fools, said I, you do not know. Silence like a cancer grows. |
| For a crime this outrageous we sentence you to twenty years of Barney. |
| For all soldiers: Remember your equipment was made by the lowest bidder. |
| For every vision, there's an equal and opposite revision. |
| For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. |
| For Sale: Tribbles. Contact H. Mudd at 17:01/A. |
| For whom the trolls belled... |
| Free Tibet - with every box of Rice Krispies! |
| Freedom of Choice. Do it or don't. Those are the choices. |
| Freud Fantasy Gardens--Id required. |
| Freudian Slips: The Underwear of Ideas |
| Friction is a drag. |
| Friends don't let friends read XANTH! Just Say No. |
| From the interiors of the mirror comes a voice. Hark ! "Eh?" |
| Funny, I just knew you were going to say that. |
| Funny, only sensible people agree with me. |
| Fuzzy logic: A Vulcan contemplating a Tribble. |
| Games? Did someone say games? -- Q |
| Gays don't ask for Special Rights, just EQUAL RIGHTS! |
| gays don't recruit, Christians do! |
| Gee, I wonder what this key does. |
| Gene Police: YOU! Out of the pool. |
| Genes are things you have whether you want them or not. |
| Genius is perseverance in disguise. |
| George Borg: Prepare your broccoli to be assimilated! |
| Get Mad! Say 'I'm Mad as hell and I'm not Taking it Anymore!' |
| GET REAL! Elvis is DEAD! Accept it! |
| Get the Government Out of My Kitchen: And Out of My Bedroom, Too! |
| GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN! -- You push and I'll steer... |
| Get thee down. Be thou funky. |
| Getting some is entirely different then being addicted to it. |
| Geysers, like us all, have to let off steam sometimes. |
| Giant oak trees began as little nuts that held their ground. |
| Give me all your lupines! |
| Give the gift that keeps on giving; a female kitten. |
| Give them an opposable thumb, and they think they're special... |
| Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Bonaparte |
| Glucose, sucrose, dextrose, fructose!!!!!!!!!! |
| Go ahead, make my day. I'd like a Saturday, please. |
| Goals determine what you're going to be. - J. Erving |
| Goblet: a baby turkey. |
| God has no religion. -- Mohatma Gandhi |
| God I can stand, it's the fan club I hate. |
| God is coming; and boy, is she pissed! |
| God is Real, unless declared Integer. |
| God isn't dead, she just couldn't find a parking place. |
| God isn't dead. She's just sleeping. |
| God Save The Queen. (30% off one slightly used Prince.) |
| Goddess is the power ....Magic is the focus.... |
| Goddess protect me from men with honorable intentions. |
| Goddess Recycles: It's a Karmic thing. |
| God's last name is not 'DAMN'. |
| Good or bad, it all comes down to who's holding the Assault Cannon.. |
| Got kleptomania? Take something for it. |
| Got to go, the dinner's fighting and the kids are burning. - Pearl |
| Graduate of the Mad Max School of Defensive Driving |
| Graduate, Whatsamatta U. School of Management |
| Grass: A green plant that dies on the lawn and grows in the garden. |
| Graveyards are full of the indispensable. |
| Gravity will get you down, entropy will keep you there. |
| Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law. |
| Gravity's not my fault. I voted for Velcro. |
| Great day for putting slinkies on an escalator. |
| Great; Custer had a plan, too. |
| Grits...Cream of Wheat with an attitude! |
| Grok & thou shall be free. |
| Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. |
| Grrrrrrr! |
| Guess it's time for Plan B, huh? |
| Guests who kill their talk show hosts. On the next Geraldo. |
| Guilt - the gift that keeps on giving! |
| Guns don't kill people, disgruntled postal workers kill people. |
| Guns don't kill. Fast-moving projectiles do. |
| Gymnasts do it with a flying dismount. |
| H. Ross Perot: Folksy billionaire or Ferengi in disguise? You decide. |
| Hail Hermes, guide and giver of things graceful and good! |
| Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. |
| Han:"How're we doin'?" Luke:"Same as always." Han:"That bad,
huh?" |
| Hans, what kind of a name is "Hans?" - Garibaldi |
| Happiness is wanting what you have. |
| Have more sex...the entirety of life on earth can't be wrong! |
| Have my machine call your machine; we'll fax lunch. |
| Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again? - Pooh |
| Have you taunted a conservative today? |
| Have your service call my service; our services will do lunch. |
| He appears to be suffering from Clue Deficit Disorder. |
| He distinctly said "To blave" ... |
| He does the work of 3 Men...Moe, Larry & Curly. |
| He ended the job as he began it: fired with enthusiasm. Don O'Shaughnessy |
| He jumped on his horse and rode madly in all directions.. |
| He that hurts me, but does not kill me, had better have damn good life insurance. |
| He who adds not to his learning diminishes it. [The Talmud] |
| He who dies with the most of anything...is still dead. |
| He who dies with the most toys, still dies. Kimo's Rules |
| He who laughs at a Klingon, never laughs again. |
| He wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit him on the head! |
| Heal the past, live the present, dream the future... |
| Health is the slowest possible rate at which one can die. |
| Heard about the new conservative dance craze? The Rush Limbo... |
| Heck was created for those who refuse to believe in Gosh. |
| Heinlein's alive and still writing in a parallel time line. |
| Heisenberg may have been here. |
| Heisenberg may or may not have slept here. |
| Helios, Apollo and Ra....Oh My! |
| Hell hath no pizza. |
| Help stamp out Pernography: read more Heinlein! |
| Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy! |
| Help! My morals have fallen and I... Ohhh... Never mind! |
| Herbalists ingest herbs. Beware of humanists! (Kalioppe) |
| Here comes Sanity, here comes Sanity, right down therapy lane. |
| Here, help me throw this tea overboard... |
| Here's to your love, health, and wealth--and time to enjoy each. |
| He's dead, Jim, but not as we know it. |
| He's dead, Jim. Kick him if you don't believe me. |
| He's dead, Jim... You get his tricorder, I'll get his wallet. |
| He's Jed, Dim. |
| He's no fun, he fell right over. |
| He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy. |
| Hestia does it on the hearth! |
| Hey, Rocky! Wanna see me pull a rabbit out of a hat?? |
| Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull the Necronomicon out of my hat! |
| Hey, Santa! How much for your naughty little boy list? |
| Hire teenagers while they still know everything. |
| History repeats itself, but each time the price goes up. |
| Ho! Ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! |
| Holy Grail? We've already got one. It's very nice. |
| Home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs and wanderers |
| Homophobia is a deviant religious lifestyle. |
| Honk if you love peace and quiet... |
| Honk if you want to see my middle finger. |
| Hookt On Fonicks Werked Four Me! |
| Hot water heaters? Hot water needs heating?? |
| How come the AT&T Logo looks like the Death Star? |
| How did a fool and his money get together in the first place? |
| How did all those shrimp get on Barbie, anyway? |
| How do I love sea? Let me count the waves... |
| How do you do I, see you've met my, faithful handyman. |
| How do you pronounce my name? With reverence. |
| How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? |
| How many acrylics died to make that sweater? |
| HUGS -- one size fits all, and they're easy to exchange! |
| Human Being: An ingenious assembly of portable plumbing. |
| Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - Eliot |
| Human nature startles at the thought. - Smith |
| Humans and aliens wrapped in 2,500,000 tons of spinning metal |
| Humor her, the sedative's wearing off... |
| Humpty Dumpty was pushed. |
| I *do* have all the answers - but they only work for me! |
| I agreed to suspend my disbelief, not hang it until dead. |
| I almost saw Elvis...but my shovel broke! |
| I am a mental tourist. My mind wanders. |
| I am an equal opportunity philosopher. |
| I am long past innocence and fast approaching apathy. - Londo |
| I am neither for nor against apathy. |
| I am NOT illiterate; my parents were married!!! |
| I am not saying another word tonight. P.S. ---> I might. |
| I am not young enough to know everything. |
| I am overqualified? Allow me to remove some lines from my resume... |
| I am PRO-CHOICE on EVERYTHING. |
| I Am Sam. Sam I Am. Do you like Green Eggs & Ham? |
