 | I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I
want to stay employed. |
| A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem. |
| As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath. |
| I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and
paranoia. |
| I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people
around me. |
| Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than
"I told you so." |
| False hope is nicer than no hope at all. |
| I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain. |
| As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to
keep me quiet. |
| I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's
fault. |
| I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more. |
| I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all. |
| Joan of Arc heard voices too. |
| When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as
gratifying. |
| The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things
for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things. |
| As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun. |
| All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid and disgusting parts. |
| I am at one with my duality. |
| Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots. |
| I will strive to live each day as if it were my 40th birthday. |
| Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears. |
| Does my quiet self-pity get to me? Yes? Or should I move up to incessant
nagging? |
| I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws. |
| Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV.
Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom. |
| Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute... I'll find
someone. |
| Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the
future? |
| The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working. |
| I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage. |
| Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step: blaming my parents. |
| To understand all is to fear all. |
| I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at. |
| The next time the universe knocks on my door, I will pretend I am not home. |
| When I dance through life, I do the Texas Two-step. |
| To have a successful relationship, I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much
as I'm getting. |
| I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. |
| In some cultures what I do would be considered normal. |
| Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others. |
| My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment. |
