Start Transmission: Intro

Data File: 66737.86B - Journey to Solos Tekkharii

This Transmission is an account of The Alien Sex Fiend's travels through the Andrea-7 system. It's not meant to be a profound work of literary art, but it's still funny just the same.


The stars sat quietly, burning away, twinkling. There was a great system at work, beyond the understanding of so-called "intelligent beings". Planets revolving, quietly spinning at thousands of Earth-miles per hour, the silent dance of universal life playing out in the vaccum of space, to a beat only the most gifted and in tune minds could tap their feet to. A gigantic, hulking moon rolled in its orbit, as hair-thin rays from the twin suns of the Andrea-7 Solar System jetted across its dead lifeless surface. Then, slightly slower than the rays, a light blue flash of light screamed by the moon, barely missing it by a few hundred miles. It came to almost an abrupt stop, then settled itself into a cruising speed. At first looking like a small asteroid, the medium sized ship, cruized by. A ray of sunlight splashed on the side of the ship, showing its identification, a few scars from some battle long ago, and then its name, "Leviathan".

Within the ship, it somewhat resembled a tomb. A deep clear blue haze filled the ship from its low-powered light sources. A light carpet of mist coated the floors, along with hints of frost on the walls, here and there on different nondescript control panels, and other machinery. Suddenly two little slits of bright green lights hummed to life. There was a sound much like ticker tape, then a monotone voice spoke, "Systems Check, Time Check, Motor Check..." and so on through some number of different items. The narrow lights rose, revealing the perfectly polished, gold-colored metallic head they were buried in. A small robot, roughly 4 feet high stood up and balanced itself. The robot looked around, apparently taking note of the condition of the ship, saw nothing wrong, then saw a readout on what was the main control panel of the Leviathan, and went walking down a corridor in much the same manner as a man with a purpose, leaned forward, arms swinging from left to right, hunched. The robot passed through several corridors, then appeared to become displeased with its progress, and with the sound of motors and gears whirring, transformed itself into a small buggy and went flying down the corridor and jumped up, transformed again, and landed on its feet at the entrance to another part of the ship. The robot punched in codes at a key panel, and proceeded into the next room. Here the cold carpet of mist was thicker. Frost was creeping all over instrument panels and various machinery in the room. The robot went to the control panel, punched more keys. The dark blue light became slightly brighter, and numbers counted upward in miliseconds, "-188Farenheit... -166Farenheit... -129Farenheit" then faster "...-89Farenheit... +10Farenheit... +45Farenheit" then slower, as the frost started to melt and drip to the floor and hissing air sucked it in before it had the chance to become a puddle, "+68Farenheit...+77Farenheit", the counter stopped. Hissing air, coulds of mist blew out of pipes, then gave visibility to 8 vertically arranged cylindrical capsules roughly larger than a full grown human being with a shell of some reinforced transparent material, which had an exoskeleton of thick, sturdy metal bones for added reinforcement. Clearly these capsules held something of great importance. One of the capsules' internal lights hummed to life, and through the mist and condensation on the outside of it, a faint image could be seen. The robot stepped over to the capsule, then stood and waited. Inside, little lights blinked, and the faint image of a living being could be made out. The robot stared intently, expectant. The the main track lights in the capsule came on, giving the inside a soft green glow, and a younng girl, apparently in her mid-teens(earth years) became visible. The girl "stood" peacefully in her capsule, strapped in and held suspended off the capsule floor by several straps and some technology within the tube itself.

The robot didn't move, just stared. The girl behind the thick glass twitched, and the fog on the glass faded away, showing the entire human female clearly. She was now clearly an Earth female, mid-teens, Asian, wearing an oxygen mask that covered her nose and mouth, and her dark raven-black hair had been folded low along her back around her front, parted in the middle of the back eaqually, like a blanket. Her head lay to the side, and after twitching her eyelids, the girl began to awaken. Her eyes, squinted hard, then began to look around the room slowly with an almost drunken manner. The eyes finally met with the deep green glowing eyes of the robot, something in the girls mind registered, she frowned, then shut her eyes tightly. The robot leaned forward, and tapped on the glass with a brightly polished gold-colored metallic hand. The girl opened her eyes again, visibly annoyed, and it became clear she wasn't going to be left alone any time soon. The robot knocked again. Finally, with a slow, unhurried, yet slightly frustrated movement, one of the girl's hands moved over and used a finger to push a few keys on a console inside the capsule. The robot sat back, looking satisfied, clearly showing it was being polite about not opening the capsule from the outside. The capsule hummed, motors whirred, and with the sound of hushed air rushing both into and out of the vaccum of the capsule. The girl, groggy and irritable remained motionless save for her eyes, which watched the capsule glass swing outward and upward as the robot stepped aside, then finally moved her head to stare directly ahead. The robot stepped up and began removing suctioned patches which were connected to various plugs in the tube by thin wires from the girl's temples, then from her arms and hands, then her legs. The girl remained fairly still. The robot finished, then looked up at the girl, who stared back, then, with a groggy, still-irritable expression, removed the gas mask and opened her "blanket". She stepped out of the capsule, nude and wiping small drops of melted frost from her shoulders and chest. Walking past the robot, she mumbled something to the robot, who in turn cheerfully replied, "Why hello there!! It is yet another wonderful opportunity to take advantage of all your life has to offer!! I'm just tickled pink to inform you that the Leviathan has come out of L-Warp 9(9 times the speed of light) and has began its approach to orbit the planet Kera-7 in the Andrea-7 system! Isn't that neat?". The girl looked murderously at the robot, and growled, "Bub, turn off your morning enhancement program...NOW, or I'll reprogram you to do nothing but make toast for the next hundred years". The robot jumped back, shocked, "Well now...somebody certainly got up on the wrong side today! But fine, be a downer!", and with a click the robots voice became somewhat less pleasant, yet still couldn't seem to shed it's cheerfulness.

The girl walked through the main door of the hybernation chamber and down the corridor, with the robot keeping pace slightly behind her, filling her in on various conditions of the ship, current weather on the planet, all of which clearly went in one ear and out the other. "Must have soda", said the girl. The robot dutifully scampered ahead of her and went through a door in the corridor. Inside the room, the sounds of gargling machinery, lights coming on, and the metallic feet of the robot moving about could be heard. The girl approached the door, and right as she entered Beelzebub turned and tossed her a small chrome cylinder with a nozzle on top. She caught it, slid a latch on the nozzle, and guzzled the drink as if she had been desperately suffering from serious dehydration. Still nude, she plopped down into one of the sleek spherical chairs next to the counter. She sat, drank, watched the robot frying something on the stove, and remained fairly quiet. Beelzebub gleefully hopped around behind the counter, flipping eggs, pankackes, and other foods on the stove with the skill of a master chef, and twice the cheer. The girl looked at the Bub's wonderful attitude with obvious disgust, but clearly longed to get her hands on the food. Then, the robot finished, and tossed a full plate of food at the asian girl at the table, who despite her groggy appearance awakened in an instant, caught the plate in mid-air, and began ferally jamming her utensils into the food and stuffing her face. Then the girl looked expectantly up from her plate at the robot, who tossed another plate of food on cue. As she ate, the girl began to move faster, became more coherant, but still wasn't very talkative. Then the robot turned around angrily, obviously hurt that it got no visible appreciation. Angrily, the robot shoveled out the last of the food off the stove and the Asian girl at the table blew it a kiss and a wink. The robot calmed somewhat, as the girl said "awww...c'mon Bub, you know I love ya!". Seeing the girl had finally woken up, the robot regained its compusure and was content once again. After eating, the girl wandered out of the ship's kitchen and yelled up at the cieling, looking as though she were talking to mid-air, "Leviathan! Wake up!". After this noise cracked the silence of a ship that had been in almost complete quiet for hundreds of thousands of light years, bright, long, narrow, blue track lights along the floor of the ship lit up making everything visible, as vaccums along the floor sucked away the carpet of mist. Then, out of nowhere, the sharp, crystal-clear, booming voice of the ship whose bass levels were theatrically low with an eerie calm came online, "Greetings upon your awakening Hsien-Mai. I trust your hybernation was pleasant?". "As always!!", replied Hsien-Mai, "but what's with this formal crap? You forget who I am Levi?". The ship replied, "Of course not, AlienSexFiend." With a nod of satisfaction, Alien, walking nude down the corridor of the ship, turned a corner and headed into a bedroom.

1