Kiss Or Bite

A pair of lips sat upon the table.
Eddie became unnerved by the fact that the lips were staring at him. "Eddie, Eddie," they seemed to cry. They were pink, and they sat on the table, staring.

It wasn't as though Eddie had done anything wrong, well, not really. The damn cat had been asking for it anyway. Cats (yellow and purple) and zeppelins (green) with horses (white) full of battery acid (choose favourite colour) danced through his head.
God, will someone shut off those lips, I'm getting a headache! Don't you have any ointment? Crummy service don't come back here.
Run, Eddie, run, or the inflated marshmallow crucifix will hurt you! You won't be able to get up again!
No, I would not care for a glass of Grey Poupon with my Filet Mignon, Merci, de rein, qu'est-ce que whoopie, skulle du vilja komma och ata frukost hos migh.
"I am a sleeping mat," Eddie thought. "See me lie around all day, lie and lie and lie, what a liar. OUCH, you're stepping on my lower vertebrae! If I had teeth I'd bite you!
White Rabbits? I didn't order any white rabbits! Waiter! Get these rabbits off my table, whadda ya think this is, Yom Kippur? And what do you think you're looking at, the lips kept staring.
Drip drippy went the sewer lid, as Eddie searched for the lost Brazillian gem of his consciousness. Oh, that was funny, wasn't it, watching it slowly spin down the toilet. You bitch, I'll pinch you someday when I have fingernails as long as a sidewalk. Shit, I really hate sewer scum.
"Kiss me, I love you", the lips seemed to cry now. A drumbeat thump Eddie I thump love you thump kiss me you thump fool. Go away, or my nose will bite you, Eddie warned the pretty pink lips on the table.
The duck was smoking a cigar. "Hey, Mr. Duck, there's a puddle on your feet, maybe you'd like some orange sauce, ha ha ha" Eddie warned the nice duck. Oh, way to go, Eddie, you scared him! No, wait, Mr. Duck, come back!
The pretty lady with the bird in her hair and the animal on her back gives Eddie funny looks. What's the matter, you've never seen lips in a table before?
Red, orange and blue, and oh say can you see me but wouldn't you like it the real thing a pepper too? I'm going crazy happy, Eddie might thought. Oh, look at the pretty yellow snow.
"Eddie, Eddie," the happy lips crying on the table. So what will it be, Eddie, kiss or bite? Kiss or bite? Kiss or bite?
Fruity bananas kiss or bite. Oraung-outan watchtowers kiss or bite? Marmalade townhouses and crystallized crayons and purple ancient Roman colouring books kiss or bite? Now, Eddie, kiss or bite. Bite, Eddie, kiss or now. Kiss or bite kiss or bite.
Wait.
We're waiting, Eddie.
Eddie leaned over and gently laid a kiss on the pretty pink lips that sat staring on the table.

They stopped staring.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page