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WIZENED OLD DUDE'S HOME

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OK just to answer the first obvious question, "Why am I called Wizened Old Dude?". The answer I'm is simple: I'm older than the rest of my friends by several years (physically that is, decades if we are talking about mental age) and everyone comes to me for advice when they have a problem, everything from relationships to work and family. Oh yeah I also (apparently) seem to know everything about anything. So what am I doing with myself apart from the apparent hommicidal activities? Well I am studying French at Exeter university in England. At the moment however I am in France for a year and getting pulled by English girls because I seem to be one of the very few English blokes around. Hey I'm not complaining, it's nice to feel wanted ;) but I don't think that my girlfriend would approve. Hi Claire *waves*. Well apart from training I also enjoy, archery, shooting, hiking, weight lifting and badminton. I am also proficient with knives, short sword, paired short swords, bastard sword, nunchuku, tonfa, staffs, blowpipe, bows and firearms. Not that I am a weapons freak in anyway at all.

Hail to Haz baby.

Phill, Me, Steve W.

MARTIAL ARTS ADVICE.

My ninja idols:

Steven K. Hayes. The man who was taught at the Togakure school and brought Ninjutsu to the West.

Dr Masaaki Hatsumi. 34th Grand Master. Togakure school of Ninjutsu.

Dragon Ball Z.

Well for those of you who know nothing about this series here is a brief account of what it is all about. Akira Toryama was thinking about a comic strip that would interest most martial arts freaks (or so we like to think) so this is what he came up with. Martial arts combined with gigantic versions of Ryu's (Street Fighter) fireball technique, used to save the Earth and it's inhabitants while destroying most of the surrounding countryside and the occasional planet. For the rest of you who alredy love this, the most popular of Japan's mangas click on the pics to get the best web sites that I have found relating to Dragon Ball Z, click on the pic to the left to goto MY DBZ site, and the Ani-Mayhem card game site run by Goku Man.

Goku Man's Animayhem page is by far the best site for this card game. Even those who normally play Magic or 5 rings would be addicted.

TRUNKS By far the coolest of the DBZ characters. Yes he's from the future and comes back to help the rest of the DBZ family, firstly by totally kicking Freeza and King Colds' arses (Yep slice and dice sums it up quite nicely). He then gives Goku the medicine to save his life, and finally after the destruction of Cell he goes back to the future and annihilates C17 and C18. Apart from that he's one hard ass with a great sword.

Things we learn from wizened old dudes

CHAT-UP LINES THAT HAVE ACTUALLY WORKED: Hiya ugly, like the nose. So how long have you been in the melon smuggling business then? THINGS NOT TO SAY IN A LIFT. (In a deep voice) I need another host body. Can someone smell something? Look if I jump up and down a lot I can get the lift to bounce. What's that creaking noise?

You will never hear a woman say: I aint getting near that thing unless I get to swallow! WIZENED OLD DUDE'S BATTLE TACTICS. If you see your enemy: Kill him. If your enemy sees you: Kill him If your enemy is being cheeky: All the more reason to kill him! Never enter an arse kicking contest with a porcupine. If fighting against a Grakksoc member just remember what happened to Mr Hong; INHALE, KILL, EXHALE.