or why the Tubbies are even worse than Barney
By now, you've all been corrupted to the point that you at least know who the Teletubbies are ... and for that, we are sorry ... We tried to kill them off before they gained notoriety, but we have failed ... And I'm not even fucking around here ... If I had it in my power to obliterate them and their creators from the face of the earth, believe me, I would ... They're evil ... and not even a good kinda evil ... let me explain.
See, you know and I know that TV can turn into a seriously bad habit. It's free, it appeals to the lowest common denominator, it does your thinking for you, it sells you shit you don't want or need, and if you do it too much, you'll go blind (or is that something else?) See, we, as adults, know that ... and on occasion, we can even impress on our children these basic truths (not that violent TV has anything to do with 13-year-olds using their classmates for target practice ... nah, it's too obvious) Barney was the first step in the madness ... we thought it would never get worse ... that just shows what the fuck we know, huh? See, Barney was aimed at little children ... and sure, he spouted the occasional good value, he also preached conformity, mindless adoration for everyone (even the skinny old man in the raincoat, although he never actually said that he old guy had really good candy, you know he implied it) and above all, submission to merchandising ... but no matter how bad it got, you could always tell the rugrat to "Go outside and play, and leave the cat alone this time and I mean it!!"
However, the Teletubbies are aimed even lower!! They target children who aren't even able to walk and talk yet!! It's a show made for babies!! Little tiny, subliterate, can't know right from wrong, can't be reasoned with BABIES!!! (And to those of you derive entertainment from the show as adults, just die, ok?) I mean how much more evil can you get?!? Hook'em before they even know ... So, it's not just a matter of taste, man, it's for our CHILDREN!! And that is why I proudly say, to one and all,
The Teletubbies Must DIE!!!
