Monday, August 7th; 1:31 a.m.

Wow. Leaving in a week.

Juliana was OK. It's pretty fancy, and everyone really dresses up - especially the "old" women who are in their late twenties and are making a valiant last-ditch attempt at landing a husband - so it's really expensive - like, $120 for a table. It was just me and Sam and Clara last night, so we definitely couldn't afford that. And there's a tangible hint of snobbishness in the air. Clara and I were repeatedly passed over by the waiters - Juliana is another well-known booking place - and when we left we saw some guy pulling away in a silver BMW Z3 convertible, just to give an example. But the music is good and the speakers are loud, so we did stick around and dance for an hour and a half or so, hiding out in the bathrooms during the slow songs so that the waiters wouldn't discover that we didn't have a table and kick us out. Then we took a taxi to Danco.

Younger crowd, and you can get in even if you're dressed casual. We had the same waiter as last time - you have to have a waiter in order to get in - and he was really happy to see me. Unfortunately, he doesn't speak any English, but he was so nice to us trying to make up for that - and I didn't mind anyway. How could I possibly complain? I'm the one who should feel guilty. I can't speak Korean, and it's their country. Anyway, he gave us a huge discount on our order, and he gave me a lollipop, and when I wasn't getting booked a lot, he brought a guy to ME, and when I was about to buy some food from a street vendor after we finally left at four in the morning, he came out and insisted on paying for it. Such a sweetheart.

Last night was the first time that I saw guys getting booked - a LOT of them. Must have been slim pickings or something. For once there were definitely a lot of hot guys there anyway. I got booked three times, I think. The first time Clara came along and we were taken to a table of three guys who were a year or two older than us but seemed a little immature. [What am I talking about? They're GUYS, duh. :)] They were totally fawning over her, but I wasn't sure whether the guy that I was sitting with was interested in me or not, and he didn't offer me any food, so I didn't feel like sticking around and left. (Then he told me that I was welcome to come back later if I wanted to, so he must have liked me well enough.)

After that I danced and sat around at our table for awhile. That was when the waiter brought someone to me, a guy my age named Brian. He was very nice, although a bit boring, but we hung out for awhile. I offered him some of our beer, and he accepted, and then we danced with Sam a little, until one of us left - I didn't have much to drink last night, but I honestly don't remember - but either way I told him that he was welcome to return to our table later if he wanted to. After awhile I got booked again, but the guy spoke no English, so I immediately left, and then Brian stopped by to invite me to his room with him. His two friends - also nice guys my age, although they looked young - were in there singing karaoke to slow American love songs. I hung out with them for awhile and even joined in on a couple. They asked me if I have a boyfriend back home, and I said yes. Then Clara got booked to their room - but she didn't stay for long, and she came back later to take me with her because Sam was dancing by himself and she felt guilty about that. She didn't hesitate to disappear for the rest of the night when she got booked again a little while later, though.

I got booked one more time too, to a room full of cool guys my age who actually looked older and spoke excellent English. [They're the best kind. :)] Their reaction when I was brought in - so typical - still makes me laugh. They all abruptly stopped whatever they were doing, stared at me, and said, "Oh my God!" There was a Korean girl in there too, and even though the two of us couldn't verbally communicate, I really liked her. They all talked with me for awhile - "Where is your boyfriend?" one of them asked, and I replied, "Back home" - and then I went down to the dance floor with three of them to dance and look for my friends. Sam had danced himself into stitches and kept having to take breaks, and Clara was still nowhere to be found. Eventually they all went back up, and I said I'd return with my friends once I found Clara - and a few minutes later she appeared. She and I did go upstairs, but it didn't go well because right away one of the guys made a comment about her dress, and she was really offended. Still, she gave him her number, and another guy gave us his. I don't know if we're actually going to call him though. Probably depends on whether or not he calls her.

O-seen, my roommate, said she told Alex, her on-again-off-again boyfriend, that I have gone booking, and he was really surprised.

I just figured out why no one has been able to reach me by telephone lately: The wires weren't connected properly. So guess what I did? I fixed it. Just like I dove into the ocean when it was so cold that all of the other girls stayed out. Just like I smashed that spider when everyone else was whimpering and cowering in their rooms. Me, who grew up hating sports and reading books and playing piano and wearing glasses. I am so proud of myself.

There are so many little romances going on around here. Couples kissing in the lobby, in the basement, on the stairs. The other night, while I was talking to Mike on the phone after curfew, when the lobby was dark, a girl came downstairs in a sweatshirt with the hood up and leaned against a table. Then a guy from one of my classes came downstairs and gave me a look. I just made sure the phone booth door was shut and didn't think anything of it until I noticed that they were walking up the stairs to the guys' side together! Gender segregation is strictly enforced here - there are security cameras in the stairwells and everything - but they found a way to get around it! I whispered to Mike, "Somebody is going to get laid tonight!" but he didn't know what I was talking about.

I finished ANGELA'S ASHES tonight. Now it's time to do my homework.

1:56 p.m.

It's thundering like crazy right now outside. First real storm that I can remember since we got here. It's kind of comforting. Max came home from the hospital today, which means that he was there for three whole days. He must have been really hurt. The last meeting of my Women in Korea class just ended. Tomorrow is the last day for Aesthetics. Sometimes I feel like I can't wait to go home, and sometimes I don't want to leave. I can't believe how time flies.

I miss my chiropractor. Back home I usually see him once every one or two weeks, but it's been six-and-a-half weeks now, and I'm in pain. I was actually doing quite well until about the five-week mark, and then it was all downhill from there. Just eight more days to go. . .

The other day Clara and I ate together in a little Japanese restaurant. She had sushi, and I had some hot noodle soup. We hadn't been there long when a big group of young people came in and the hostess started putting small tables together for them - including ours. Talk about a thinly veiled suggestion! Sometimes Koreans are rude like that.

More demonstrations at Yonsei lately. I think it was Tuesday night when I heard lots of speeches and chanting and music coming from the packed entranceway of some university building, but I don't know what that was about. And then there was a big demonstration in the Student Center all this weekend protesting the U.S. Army's dumping of formaldehyde into the Han River, which runs through the middle of Seoul. Damn Yanks.

I hurt my finger at the post office on Wednesday while trying to send some postcards to the States. There was construction going on inside (like just about everywhere right now, it seems), and someone moved a big metal ladder when I wasn't looking, so when I turned around from the international mail box to head for the door, I ran right into it, hands first. It left a big red line across the knuckles of my right hand, which is almost no longer visible now, and it left a big bump and a bruise just below the knuckle on my left index finger. That still hurts [a little bit].

I had dinner at Victor's country house again yesterday, this time with Ann in tow. Besides his wife there were two other women there, one of whom brought her husband and both of whom brought their kids, bringing the child count to seven - same as the adults. Again it was raining, but at least it started early enough to limit the traffic out of the city yesterday, and it did stop after dinner so that we could all go in the water, most of us only up to our ankles because it was FREEZING. This time the meal was chicken, some barbecued, some fried - it had been a long time since I'd eaten that - with more rice-filled tofu squares and kimbap and potato pancakes and a garden salad (made of lettuce, mini tomatoes, corn, and French dressing) and a fruit salad. And there were snacks for the kids and more fruit and kimbap for the adults after swimming too. They send us home so full. . . .

Just like last time, the men and the guests just relaxed while the women prepared for the meal. The oldest child of Victor's wife and of one of the other women is male, so they each had one more child - both girls - and stopped. The third woman had two girls first, so she had a third child - male - and then she too stopped. Gender discrimination is so self-perpetuating in Korea. There is no welfare or Social Security here, and anyway once they are married most women are unable to get a job - if they even want to, that is - so they have to rely on their children to take care of them when they're old. And since girls are "lost" to their husband's family once they're married, women must have a son. It's an impossible situation.

At least the children all played together. Boys and girls used to never even interact in Korea - until they were married, that is, which, as you can probably imagine, certainly didn't do much to promote mutual understanding between them. Anyway, Victor had brought some balloons and a bag full of packages of a kind of clay for the children (and Ann and I) to play with - the balloons before dinner, and the clay afterwards. He handed the little bag of balloons to me to distribute to the children, who were instructed by their mothers to introduce themselves and choose a color and say thank you all in English. It was really cute. The clay was actually Korean mud, which is renowned for the many benefits of using it on one's skin as well as the fact that it's fun to play with. All that I have to say is that Korean children are one and all exceedingly adorable.

In the car on the way out of Seoul I happened to mention how there always seem to be letters missing from the names on Korean cars. Victor explained why: When high school students are getting ready to take the college entrance examination, which is honestly the most important thing that a Korean will do in his or her entire life, many of them will steal an "S" off a car because it's believed to bring good luck - kind of like hood ornaments in the States. I thought it was an awesome story and said that I wished that I could find some car that still had an "S" on it so that I could take it off and bring it home as a souvenir. Ann and Victor laughed. :)

If I lived in Korea, I would want to drive a motorcycle - maybe a Daelim like the gorgeous silver one that always used to be parked in front of the Millenium Buiding, where we take classes. (I took a picture of it.) I don't even know if it's legal for women to drive motorcycles here, though. I've definitely never seen it done, and I know that it's illegal for women to smoke on the street - not just culturally inappropriate but honestly illegal - so who knows? I'd probably have to drive a car. I love the Hyundai Tiburon. I would look so good in one of those. The Grandeur is more practical, though, and it's actually a pretty good car. Nice lines, very sleek-looking, and a V6 under the hood, just like the Dynasty.

7:31 p.m.

I thought that I wasn't hungry, but going for a walk and getting some food in my stomach actually seemed to clear my head a little. I ate at a Chinese restaurant tonight - the first one I've been to since I arrived. Now I recognize the difference between Chinese and Korean rice: Chinese rice is firm, and Korean rice is stickier and thus easier to eat with chopsticks. Chinese, Korean, and Japanese chopsticks differ from one another as well. Korean ones are the hardest to eat with, though - flat instead of round or square - so I guess it all evens out in the end.

On the way home I stopped at my favorite street vendor's booth to get a little dessert, and because I'm a regular customer he served me before everyone else who was waiting. That made me feel good. I'm really going to miss that rice bread once I'm gone.

It has occurred to me recently that I haven't seen any stars since coming to Korea, even outside of Seoul. They must have been there once because I've read about them in Korean poetry, but I can't recall ever seeing them myself. It's always too overcast. It makes me feel really lonely to think that I'm not even sleeping under the same night sky.


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