This advice from one who knows:
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of
housekeeping they did when they were younger. When men notice this, they
should try not to yell.
Let me relate how I handle the situation.
When I chucked my job and took early retirement a year ago, it became
necessary for Nancy to get a full-time job both for
extra income and for health insurance benefits that we need. She was a
trained lab tech when we met thirty some years ago
and was fortunate to land a job at the local medical center. It was
shortly after she started working at this job that I
noticed that she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from
fishing or hunting about the same time she gets
home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says that she has to rest for half an hour or so
before she starts supper. I try not to yell at her when this happens.
Instead, I tell her to take her time. I understand that she is not as
young as she used to be. I just tell her to wake me when
she finally does get supper on the table.
She used to wash and dry the dishes as soon as we finished eating.
It is now not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours
after supper.
I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening that they
aren't cleaning themselves. I know she appreciates
this, as it does seem to help her get them done before she goes to bed.
Our washer and dryer are in the basement. When she was younger, Nancy
used to be able to go up and down the stairs all
day and not get tired.
Now that she is older she seems to get tired so much more quickly.
Sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down
those steps. I don't make a big issue of this. As long as she finishes
up the laundry the next evening I am willing to overlook
it.
Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear to the
Monday's lodge meeting or to Wednesday's or Saturday's
poker club or to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling or something like that,
I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do
the ironing. This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds
and ends things like shampooing the dog, vacuuming, or
dusting. Also, if I have had a really good day fishing, this allows her
to gut and scale the fish at a more leisurely pace.
Nancy is starting to complain a little occasionally. Not often, mind
you, but just enough for me to notice. For example, she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly
bills during her lunch hour. In spite of her complaining, I
continue to try to offer encouragement.I tell her to stretch it out over
two or even three days. That way she won't have to
rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and
then wouldn't hurt her any, if you know what I mean.
When doing simple jobs she seems to think she needs more rest periods
than she used to have to take. A couple of weeks ago
she said she had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing
the yard. I overlook comments like these because I
realize it's just age talking. In fact, I try to not embarrass her when
she needs these little extra rest breaks. I tell her to
fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and
just sit for a while. I tell her that as long as she is
making one for herself, she may as well make one for me and take her
break by the hammock so she can talk with me until I
fall asleep.
I could go on and on, but I think you know where I'm coming from. I know
that I probably look like a saint in the way I
support Nancy on a daily basis. I'm not saying that the ability to show
this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it
difficult. Some will find it impossible.
No one knows better than I do how frustrating women can become as they
get older. My purpose in writing this is simply to
suggest that you make the effort.
I realize that achieving the exemplary level of showing consideration I
have attained is out of reach for the average man.
However guys, even if you just yell at your wife a little less often
because of this article, I will consider that writing it was
worthwhile.
Note: This article was found next to the author's body. The cause of
death is still under investigation.
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