Goodbye
by Donald Calhoun

We each are a single point, a single spot in this pointillist painting of the
world.
We each offer
something to others and, in turn, they to us.
Our colors seem to blend, in a passion unfurled.
I have often
mistaken love and friendship.
I have been
rebuked also by love’s whip.
Hip people
strip,
Then take a
dip
In this place
of social confusion.
Love is when
you can live without someone but would do anything before you had to...
A friend is
someone who, without you, lives and comes back to tell you about their
adventures, Maybe sharing a few along the way.
My mind is
slipping, draining like a sieve.
I hate to tell
you this, but I hate this.
I can't
describe the pain, the loneliness.. the bad thoughts and sleeplessness.
I don't like
living in a world where one can be in love with someone and then be abandoned.
I don't like
being abandoned.
I don't like
hating things.
I don't like
hate.
I don't want
to be your clay.
I want to be
your blanket, in which you wrap yourself when you feel down
I want to be
there for you.
I want to be
happy.
I want to make
you happy.
Now I know I
can't.
I can't figure
a way out.
The more I
walk on eggshells,
the more I
step on nails.
I miss you.
I love you.
I miss loving
you.
My friends are
all telling me to forget about you,
Though they
never really knew
But only heard
from me
Who you were,
what you could be.
Maybe my
descriptions weren't bright enough.
Maybe you
didn't shine in their eyes,
But you shone
in mine.
I wish we could
kiss and make-up,
But we would
have to have something to make up over.
The argument
wasn't there.
There were
tense words.. I choked up when I heard
"I don't
think it is a good idea for me to come up."
It meant that
I would not get a chance to make time and see who you have become.
I cried.
I got mad (at
myself more than you)...
I knew it was
true..
We didn't talk
like we used to ...
You were tense
on the phone...
I used to
listen to you talk until I had to go..
Now we just
talked when you thought you had to...
I miss you.
But there are
too many differences, of which age is the least.
You seem the
beauty and I seem the beast.
God comes
first in your life
And in mine I
still search, not certain of what I will find.
Conservative
views help to skew you on a plane
Away from my
frame of mind.
Gender roles,
moral goals, fashion bug, dancing describe you,
And for me
these things must be broken to see what lies beneath.
Clothes don't
make the man, or manners for that matter;
and I have been known to do the wrong thing.
I am sometimes sensitive, And I don't dance
But I would
have…
For you, in a love
blind trance.
Now the end is
coming, I can tell, I normally can't communicate so well..
But the
emotions need let out.
They need to be let out to play in the light of our sunset, lest you forget that I, too, am human And prey to all these things.
Let sleeping dogs lie, is a phrase that comes to mind.
Well, I'll let this one lie, though I’m not so inclined.
I guess it's
time to end this lullaby...
......
......
Goodbye.
.

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