Everyone knew her. Even if
they didn't know her name, they knew who
she was. She was an outcast, an insect to society.
No friends, no
acquaintances, no one who even cared who she was.
As she walked
down the hall, people jeered, called her names, laughed
when she ran into
the bathroom sobbing. Day after day, the cruel students
of Sunnyvale High School would torment her, try to see how far they could
push her. The entire student-body's mission was to make her miserable.
Yet she was a strong person, and she endured their behavior. She
made her persecution into a game, a game she would win if she survived
high school.
Why did they choose her?
What had she ever done to them? Not even
they remembered. But she remembered how it had
started, all too vividly.
It was the first day of junior high when the malicious
behavior began.
Dressed in a new sweater her mother had made
and a nice pair of pants,
she set out for school. She was so excited about
entering a new school,
even if it was just down the street from her old one.
On her way to school,
she saw Becky and Julia, her best friends from last
year. Becky and Julia
lived in real houses, much bigger than her apartment.
Their parents' could
even afford to buy them new school outfits.
"Becky! Julia! Wait for me!" she called.
Her calls were met with an icy stare from Becky.
"We aren't friends with
you anymore," Becky said with a cool voice.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because you don't have a father."
She could still remember the blow that comment had
caused her. It felt like
someone had stabbed her in the stomach, twisted the
knife around, and
then slowly extracted it from her abdomen. Nothing
would ever erase or
ease the pain caused by this memory. No matter
how many times her
mother told her that her father's departure was not
her fault, or how she
was special because she only had to share her love
with one parent, she
still felt inferior inside. Inferior to Becky,
Julia, and all the other people in
the world with fathers.
Memories of her father were few and obscure.
She had one hazy memory
of her father taking her out for ice cream when she
was very young. There
were memories of birthdays were he sent cards, sometimes
with a little
money inside. More vivid, though, were the memories
of the years when
he didn't send cards. She remembered the time
when she and her fellow
kindergarten classmates were asked to bring in their
fathers for career
day. She was squirming in her seat when the
teacher called on her, and
she had said that her father was in the hospital.
"What for?" the teacher had asked sympathetically.
"Ummm... an operation," she had mumbled feebly.
"Yes, an operation.
They have to remove his brains because
an evil bad guy put
bad brains in."
She had seen this on TV once, and
was sure it was a common procedure. However, the teacher had not
been so easily fooled, and this story earned her a seat in the following
night's detention.
Yet despite all the times he had hurt her, she didn't
hate her father. How
could she when she barely knew him? After all,
he must have had a
reason for leaving her, probably a pathetic one, but
she wouldn't let herself
judge what little she knew of him. Neither liking
nor disliking him, she tried
very hard to live her life as if he didn't exist.
She did, however, promise
herself that she would never trust a member of the
opposite sex again.
It was first period, and she was in history.
Slouching down so no one
would see her and begin the inevitable taunting, she
studied the boy
standing nervously in the front of the classroom.
He was tall, with dark
hair and penetrating blue eyes. He noticed her
observations, and smiled
at her. She quickly looked away. She was
attracted to him, and didn't
want to be. As soon as he becomes aquatinted,
he'll learn that no one is
anything but mean to me, she thought.
"All right class, settle down," her teacher began
in his perpetual monotone.
"Today, we have a new student. His name
is Bobby Nolan, and I know
you'll all show him the utmost courtesy, and be exceedingly
friendly.
Remember, starting at a new school is very difficult."
He turned to Bobby.
"You can sit over there."
He was pointing to the empty seat behind her.
Bobby sauntered to his
seat, with twelve pairs of female eyes following him.
He sat down, placing
his backpack beside his seat, sliding coolly into
his seat. She had never
been attracted to anyone before in her life, but she
felt complete
infatuation towards him.
"Hey," he whispered. "Can I borrow a pen?"
And do what, poke me in the eye? she wondered, ignoring
him completely.
"Please, it's just a pen! I promise I'll give
it back."
Maybe he isn't such a jerk after all. I mean,
it's is first day here, I should
give him a break. She turned slowly, and gave
him the pencil. His eyes
met her gaze, and she looked down quickly.
"Thanks, I'm Bobby."
"I'm-"
"I know I told you to be friendly to our new student,
but I did not mean
during my class. Now will you two kindly pay
attention?" the teacher
interrupted.
But she could do anything but pay attention.
She, who was usually
extremely attentive during class, could not stop day
dreaming about
Bobby. Would he be as mean to her as the rest
were? Would he actually
be courteous? Would he be her friend?
Would he be more than her
friend?
Finally, class ended. She tried to rush out
of the classroom, to get to her
next class before the hall tormentors could begin
their work, but someone
stopped her. Someone was holding her arm, and
that someone was Bobby.
"Hey sorry I got you in trouble in class," he began.
"It's OK," she mumbled, blushing.
"Look, can I make it up to you? How about dinner
Saturday night?"
"Umm well I umm I mean I have to umm I mean I want
to but umm I have to
umm..."
"Is that a yes?"
"I guess."
"Great! How about Charlie's? I've heard
really great things about it. I'll
meet you there at 8?"
"Sure!" she burst out, so excited about being asked
out on her first date.
This sudden outburst caused her to blush furiously.
As she rushed out of
the room, she heard Bobby call:
"Great, I'll see you then!"
"Hey, look who it is! It's pizza-face.
I see we put a little more grease in our
hair than usual," a boy called.
"Oh, honey, I absolutely love that outfit! Where
did you get it? Wal-Mart?"
a cheerleader asked in an innocent tone that was dripping
with malice.
"You know, I was going to go for that scrubby, gas-attendant
look today,
but I thought it was so last year!" one of her friends
replied.
But today, these comments didn't even penetrate.
She had a date for
Saturday night, a date that all these girls had been
ogling at in history.
Holding her head high, she walked down the hall,
pretending she was
Becky. Well, she would be Becky, for Saturday
night at least. Mama
would make her a new outfit, and she would even splurge
and buy some
make-up for the date. Saturday couldn't come
soon enough!
The week went by ever so slowly. She had thought
she would burst out in
tears of agony waiting for the bell to ring on Friday.
For once, she had
been eager to be out of school, as the dreams of her
date tonight
bombarded her mind. Now it was 8 o'clock.
She was at Charlie's,
impatiently awaiting Bobby's arrival. With her
hair in a fancy bun, makeup
on her face, and a new shirt and a skirt on, she felt
absolutely ravishing.
But, on the inside, her organs were butterflies.
Her head pounded, her
stomach leapt into her mouth every so often.
What if he thought she
looked ugly? What if they couldn't keep a conversation
going? What if
she spilled food on herself? Ugh, that would
be so embarrassing.
Eight fifteen rolled around. Where was he?
He had said eight, hadn't he?
Yes, he'd called to confirm this afternoon.
Oh, the sound of his voice was
ecstasy. What if he forgot? No, he wouldn't
forget between five and eight.
By the time the clock read eight thirty, she began
to really worry. At nine
o'clock, she left, tears in her eyes, that she wouldn't
let herself cry until she
reached the safety of her home. The pain she
felt could not be described
with words. Her legs turned to led, her heart
sank, and her head
screamed over and over again: "HE STOOD YOU UP!
HE STOOD YOU
UP!"
On Monday, the last thing
she wanted to do was go to school and face
him. Hadn't she tried to warn herself this would
happen? However, her
mother would have nothing of it.
"I'm sure there was a reason he didn't show up on
Saturday. Maybe there
was a family emergency. You're going to mope
around the halls, until he
finds you, and tells you his grandfather had a heart
attack and they had to
rush to the hospital. And then you'll fell awful
for hating him," her mother
concluded triumphantly.
"Whatever," she replied, trying desperately to conceal
the happiness
brought about by this new idea. Though she knew,
deep down that her
mother's explanation was incorrect, she couldn't help
running the three
blocks to school.
Upon reaching the schoolyard, she saw Bobby.
As she tried to approach
him, her body turned to Jell-O. When she finally
reached him, however,
his arm was wrapped tightly around Becky. Before
she could turn and run,
Becky saw her.
"Look, there she is. She did go to Charlie's,
she did! I told you she would.
Look at her, just look at her. Oh, this
is just great. She looks like an
injured dog. I wish I had a camera! What
a loser, she actually went,"
Becky continued with words that continued to bash
her victim's already
diminished ego.
Hurt beyond words, she met Bobby's gaze. He
gave her a look clearly
saying, "You thought you could have me? In your dreams!"
She ran away,
too injured to cry.
That day at lunch, she sat in her usual spot: the
last table in the back of
the cafeteria where no one but she ever sat.
The whole day had been
horrible; she just couldn't stop thinking about what
Bobby had done to her.
This was, by far, the worst prank her classmates
had ever pulled. She
avoided looking at Bobby's table.
Suddenly, a commotion arose at Bobby's end of the
cafeteria.
"WHAT?!?!?!?" a voice screamed. "YOU'RE MOTHER
WORKS WHERE?!?!?!?" His whole table began screaming words that would
forever seal his fate. He would become an outcast, like she was.
"No," she whispered softly. "They can make fun
of me, but NOT him."
She felt an incredible sense of loyalty to this
boy who had absolutely
humiliated her. Teeming with anger, she ran over to
the crowd jeering Bobby. He was crying.
"STOP!!!!!!!!" she screamed in a voice she didn't
know she possessed.
The cafeteria became silent. She walked
to the center of the crowd, to
Bobby. She took his hand. Silently, she
led him out of the cafeteria.