I've known her since I was a child, and
although she is my most
understanding friend she's also a stranger. I don't
know her name if she has one. I can't describe anything about her physical
characteristics, and I've long suspected she changes them at will. Or maybe
I'm the one who changes her, inside my mind, because that is what she is:
a figment-probably. I can't decide if I created her or she created me.
Even if she is a figment, she has a stronger control over me than
anything else in this world or any other. The only thing that never changes
about her is her location. Every night I float past my dreams to see her.
If you could see..no, not see. Appearances mean nothing there. But if you
could know her, you'd realize how much of a blessing her counsel is. The
most ironic thing about her is the way she's given me advice that's pulled
me away from hopelessness so many times, while she herself is trapped.
Glass, pure, clear glass on every
side of her. Up, down, and all four walls. Trapped in a cage with no possible
escape, ever. There have been nights when I threw myself at the glass,
which seemed as thin and brittle as an icicle.
I've tried so many times , but have never succeeded.
And she sits calmly watching me with a half-smile of amused pity, as if
I were playing a children's game, instead of trying to break down her cage.
"Sit down, and stop behaving like
a fool. You have too much to learn tonight, and I have too much to teach
you. Listen closely and count yourself lucky. Not everybody has a tutor
like me." That's her usual reprimand, and of course I listen. She has a
voice like any good teacher, filled with controlled affection and intelligence.
"What will you teach me tonight? I'll pay attention,
and I'll try to understand."
She shifts her eyes onto my face, and our eyes meet.
She doesn't withdraw hers, and I don't withdraw mine. It wasn't a contest,
only a look of understanding.
"Tonight I shall teach you about...humans. About what
they need, and what you will learn to give. This will be a very, very different
lesson from all of your others, and much more difficult. Please, sit down."
I did so, and she continued: "Tell me, what would
you like most in the world?" As she asked this question her neck slid forward,
and she pirated my gaze once again. I was puzzled in front of her eyes.
They confused me like a bright light. I managed to stammer out something
about getting a promotion and a raise, and maybe having finding a husband
and having a couple of kids. Now she was the one with a puzzled look.
"Why would you want these things? Money, men, children,
these all sound like more responsibilities you're bringing upon yourself.
What would they do for you?"
"I'd be loved. I'd be happy."
She looked vaguely like she'd been surprised,
but on re-examination found that everything was running as expected. But
judging by her sigh, she wasn't happy about being right.
"It's all still connected to happiness for you. Everybody
wants it, few find it, and rarest of all is complete happiness. Perhaps
non-existent is a better word. Anybody who is completely happy is
probably a fool or living in a dream world, because it certainly isn't
possible in yours."
She was becoming more an more excited as she spoke,
her eyes getting bigger and bigger. Suddenly her tenacity collapsed. The
eyes became calm, and she folded her hands in her lap.
"I have a message I want you to give to the world.
I want you to be happy, all of you. For some reason I feel like a mother,
and dearest thing to every mother is her children."
She raised up her index finger, and in small, proud
letters she wrote her message on one of her cage's glass walls. The works
looked like they'd been painted in frost.
They read:
"Find peace, find love, find
hope. But most importantly, find unity. You must learn to love each other
before you can love life itself. "
I read her message, and I
turned to leave, wondering if I were a prophet or an errand boy. But the
woman in her prison lifted a hand. "Don't leave quite yet. You must show
it to them, and then they'll understand."
When her fingernail, she traced
a square around the works, and the glass tablet fell without breaking to
the ground outside the cage. I went back to pick it up, and then realized
what I'd seen.
"You can get out? But why haven't you ever before?
If you can let's go, come on, you can..." I stopped in my excitement to
look at her. "Is something wrong? Why are you just standing there?"
"Why? Because you'd never see me again. It would be
abandoning you, all of you. And you are the most precious thing to
me in the world. She smiled, not a sad smile, a smile that said, "This
is the way things work are."
I awoke in a quick, gently movement like a beat of
a bluebird's wing. I suddenly realized I was holding the glass tablet she
had given me, which didn't surprise me in the least. I read the message
in a thoughtful, early morning fashion. I had a strange feeling that this
message was important, but not my friend's absolute message. That you could
read many, many things on that piece of glass. But I read it over
again, and I realized that it really didn't matter. This is what we need
to learn right now, in our world. Please, listen to her message.