|
traveling, dining out frequently and buying a large number of books every month). When I accepted this, I negotiated a settlement with myself between my desire to teach and help others with a healthy desire for attaining or doing other things that I really enjoy. I became more authentic and achieved a more realistic balance that makes my life work better. I have learned that teaching and financial success do not have to be mutually exclusive. Conflicting desires can pop up in any area of your life. They need to be identified, understood, resolved and accepted.
Fantasies and dark thoughts can conflict with what we feel are proper thoughts or behavior. This can cause painful shame and guilt. The reality is we all wrestle with conflicting desires and emotions. We all have our dark side, our secret thoughts that we feel would be so shaming if anyone else knew. When you try to totally repress or deny your dark side, you pay the price in unnecessary suffering.
This doesn't mean that you have to act on these thoughts, but you have to at least acknowledge that they exist and understand that just because they exist, you are not bad, evil, wicked, lecherous or the devil incarnate. It merely indicates that you are human; we all wrestle with the same emotions, thoughts and desires.
I consider myself a happily married man, but that doesn't mean I'm immune from sexual fantasies that include women other than my wife. (No good-looking woman is safe from my fantasies.) I like to think of myself as someone who loves and appreciates children, but when I'm writing and the neighborhood kids are making noise outside my window, loving thoughts are harder to achieve. Thoughts about population control and year-round schooling pop into my head. When we learn to accept our dark side life becomes easier.
Professor Oscar Ichazo summarizes the dilemma beautifully with these insights on the polarities of thought we all do battle with:
|
|
