Humour
What Would [insert
your Deity here] Do?
(For those of us with
myth-terious backgrounds...)
Many folks, when faced with a difficult
choice, say that they always ask themselves, "WWJD?" As we all know,
WWJD? is "What Would Jesus Do?"
Now, for those of non-Christian religious
persuasions, we have...
WWAD?
-
(A= Artemis) Turn him into a stag to be torn
apart by his barking hounds.
-
(A= Athena) Stare him down (then beat the
crap out of them...in a logical manner.)
-
(A= Apollo) Test their musical skills... in
a fair contest.
-
(A= Aphrodite) Don't you mean "Who" would
Aphrodite do?
-
(A= Astarte) Make love AND war.
-
(A=Aonghais) Paint his face blue bare his
arse , break a bottle and utter the challange "cum intae ma brew, ya tea
bag" (translated to head butt me if you are brave enough or Glasgow Kiss)
WWBD?
-
(B= Bacchus) Get them drunk and turn them
into dolphins.
-
(B= Britannia) Rule!
-
(B= Buddha) Does it matter? If you are
enlightened it doesn't. If you are not enlightened it still
doesn't.
WWCD?
-
(C= Ceres) Discuss it calmly while holding
a scythe.
-
(C= Ceridwen) Stir it up one more time.
-
(C= Chaos) No one is quite sure... but
it will be messy and... interesting.
-
(C= Cthulu) Does it matter? No one will
survive anyway.
WWDD?
-
(D= Demeter) Lay waste to your lands if you
don't have her daughter back by10 p.m.! (And don't even THINK of laying
a hand on her!)
-
(D= Discordia) Here... have an apple... IF
you are the fairest!
WWED?
-
(E= Ereshkigal) Strip them and hang them on
a hook to rot.
-
(E = Elueusinians) It's a mystery!
WWFD?
-
(F= Flora) Say it with flowers.
-
(F= Fortuna) Play the lottery.
WWGD?
-
(G= Gaia) Remind them to worship the ground
they stand on.
-
(G=Ganesha) Saddle up his rat.
WWHD?
-
(H= Hades) Tell them to go to Hell.
-
(H= Hecate) Show them the right path... or
is it the left?
-
(H= Hera) She'd get jealous.
-
(H= Hercules) He'd labor to come up with an
answer.
-
(H= Herne) Lead them on a Wild Hunt!
WWJD?
-
(J= Janus) Look the other way.
-
(J= Jupiter) Strike them down with a bolt
from the blue.
WWKD?
-
(K= Kali) Tear out their beating heart, drink
their blood and dance on their trembling corpse. Then wear parts
as jewelry.
-
(K= Kwan Yin) Show them some mercy.
WWLD?
-
(L= Loki) Turn left at the next street, buy
five chickens, "borrow" some jewelry, change into a seal and steal some
apples. For starters.
-
(L= Luna) Moon them!
WWMD?
-
(M= Mithras) Cut the bull!
-
(M= Mars) Suit up for battle.
-
(M= Mercury) Change his mind... again.
WWND?
-
(N= Narcissus) Huh? Is there someone else
here?
WWPD?
-
(P= Pan) Tell them to pipe down or fuck
off.
-
(P= Pluto) Hump Minnie's leg.
-
(P=Priapus) Rise to the occasion.
WWSD?
-
(S=Sekhmet) Drown her sorrows in blood.
-
(S= Set) You don't want to know but it won't
be nice.
-
(S=Shiva) Smoke some weed and dance the night
away.
WWTD?
WWVD?
-
(V= Vesta) Keep the home fires burning.
-
(V= Vulcan) Live long and prosper. (Hey, this
took a while! I was just checking to see if you got this far. After
all, I suffered for this; now it's your turn!)
WWYD?
-
(Y= Yahweh) "I hear you, I hear you.
Stop with the burning bush already! OY!
WWZD?
-
(Z= Zeus) By Jove, he'd flirt with the girls!



Copyright ©1999- 2001,
Finding The Path
and SM Designs.
All Rights Reserved.