Cairo Association of Teachers - Newsletter

CAT Tracks for August 5, 2008 NAME THAT RANT

Ladies and Gentlemen:

A new school year is fast approaching and, if recent events are any indication, there are going to be bountiful opportunities for yours truly to rant and rave...a little "R & R", if you will.

I always try to come up with a pithy title to my rants, but sometimes on short notice and when really, really PO'd...words elude me.

So...always looking for "a fresh start", I thought it might be fun to start the new year with a contest..."Name That Rant!"

In order to enter, all you have to do is send me an e-mail "naming your rant." Entries will most likely have to be of a general nature since they will be "on file" to be selected by the editor at the time he decides to "go off". (By the way, profanity will probably be censored...unless it's cleverly used...or "I'm madder than hell and I am not going to take it anymore!")

Some of you seem to be on the "cutting edge"...you are the first to hear some juicy outrage by way of the always dependable CSD #1 grapevine. If you are one of "the few, the proud, the well-informed"...feel free to submit an entry that flaunts your specificity...maybe at the same time you submit the "rumor".

The prize for each winning entry will be $5 ($2.50 if I select your entry but have to censor it; $7.50 if I USE your profanity-laced entry.) In the event of duplicate entries, the earliest dated e-mail will determine the winner. Due to the past acts of retaliation by past District representatives, names of the contestants will be kept in strict confidentiality - i.e. I'll slip you the prize money in a plain envelope under the table!

Time is of the essence if you wish to be the first winner in our new contest, because the first rant under the new contest rules will most likely take place TOMORROW, AUGUST 6, 2008.

I've already thought of a few possibilities for which I will NOT pay the $5 GRAND PRIZE. (Hey, I'm a lowly retired teacher now living on a fixed income...can't be doing extravagant things!)

So, "names" listed below do NOT qualify for entry...

My "default" title for tomorrow's rant is "A Slap in the Face II"

Or...my subtitle to the original, "A Kick in the Teeth"

Because of the well-publicized arson activities in Cairo this summer, I fiddled around with a variation of "...While CSD #1 Burned"

I rejected "Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho, It's Off to SCC We Go" as too long, so that should give you an idea of acceptable length for entries. (Of course, on second thought, I could do my "splitting act"...use "Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho ..." in the subject line, followed by "...It's Off to SCC We Go" as the opening sentence to the rant. Hey, there's no limit to the number of entries that can be submitted, so submit whatever you like. I do NOT want to dampen anyone's creative juices!)

"Contempt of CAT" has unfortunately become a cliché.

Another thought crossed my mind..."It's Good to be the King".

Anything starting with "Thou Shalt..." is just too obvious and too easy...and apparently too true.

Historically, there was Armstrong - you old-timers will remember "Strong-Arm Tactics"...the badges we wore with honor (ironically to a teachers' institute at SCC) - and there was Crim, and Bonifield, and Isom, and Whitledge...the "hired guns" called in to tame the wild CATs. So maybe "Terminator VI" would be appropriate. (Quick Quiz...What do Armstrong, Crim, Bonifield, Isom and Whitledge have in common? No prize...just a passing thought.)

Well...and I guess there's that too..."This Too Shall Pass".

Okay...enough already. It's your turn...your chance to win $5! (Hey, don't laugh...THAT will still buy a gallon of gas with change left over...depending on your gas mileage, it might pay for your transportation to your first day of work for the 2008-09 school year...assuming that you chose to live in Cairo, where you could actually walk to work if you were so inclined!)

So...here's your challenge: NAME THAT RANT!

If you don't win tomorrow, do NOT despair!

So many rants, so little names...

POSTSCRIPT: The true shame of all of this is that we were trying so hard to be collaborative...to quietly settle a contract...to avoid the confrontation that has characterized the past. And...it was working. Now, we are forced to put all that on hold...to fight for basic recognition...for respect. So much for beating "Swords into Plowshares"...