Cairo Association of Teachers - Newsletter

CAT Tracks for November 4, 2008 THE SKY IS FALLING

In February, folks look to Phil the Groundhog to predict the weather.

John McCain wants you to believe that the endorsement of Joe the Plumber is a "sign"...pointing to a McCain-Palin victory in Election 2008.

However, I believe that REAL CHANGE is coming to America...that Barack Obama WILL, in fact, be the first African American to be elected President of the United States.

I know, I know, don't count your chickens!

Speaking of chickens...THAT is exactly where I'm getting my insider information!!!

It seems that Southern Illinois' Chicken Little was seen hunkered down in her hen house...clutching her Bible and gun. Media who interviewed Ms. Little reported that she was despondent. One correspondent, who pressed Ms. Little for her opinion on the outcome of the election, reported that she screamed "I don't give a cluck!" (In a possibly related incident, the correspondent later called police to report that his news van had been egged.)

Chicken's boyfriend, Randy the Rooster, was so upset by this sight that he took up her cause, creating such a ruckus that it landed him behind bars. (See story below.) It has been reported that his criminal activities were directed at passers-by adorned in Obama T-shirts walking in the direction of polling places!

So, as YOU head off to the polls...BEWARE...it's a jungle out there!

AND...if Obama does NOT win, I intend to cry FOWL!!!

By Becky Malkovich, The Southern

BENTON - Benton police arrested a rooster Monday for allegedly, well, running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

The unidentified rooster was shown who truly rules the roost after an altercation on the city's northeast side, Benton Police Chief Mike O'Neill said.

"This (Monday) morning we got a call from a woman who said a rooster was preventing her and her child from going on their travels," O'Neill said. "Officers responded and apprehended Leghorn or whoever he is and took him into custody after a, um, brief scuffle. He is currently incarcerated at our facility, actually outside our facility, while we attempt to locate his owner."

Police provided the jailed fowl with feed and water in his temporary cell.

O'Neill said the complaint was not the first against the rooster, who has allegedly acted in an aggressive manner to children.

"He has been bothering people, confronting them, impeding their travel," he said. "We are holding him in custody until he can be transported out of the city limits."

O'Neill said the rooster is in violation of an ordinance that bars his ilk from residing within the city's boundaries.

"We are trying to locate the court of venue for a case like this, but the closest we've come is a kangaroo court," O'Neill joked.