• Never summon Anything you can't banish.
• Never put asafoetida on the rocks in the sweat lodge.
• Do not blow your nose on the sleeve of your neighbor's robe during an initation.
• Do not attempt to walk more than 10 paces while wearing all of your ritual jewelry, dream bags and crystals at the same time.
• When proposing to initiate someone, do not mention the Great Rite, leer, and say, "Hey, your trad or mine?"
• Never laugh at someone skyclad. They can see you, too.
• Never, *ever* set the witch on fire.
• Avoid stenciling True Names on underwear and personal effects
• Looking at nifty pictures is not a valid path to mastering the ancient grimoires. Please read thoroughly and carefully from beginning to end so that your madness and gibberings will make some sense.
• A good grasp of ritual and ritual techniques are essential. In the event of a random impaling (see next rule) or other accidental death amongst the participants a quick thinker can improvise to ensure successful completion. Make them another sacrifice. Demons like those.
• Watch where you wave the sharp pointy bits.
• Avoid walking through disembodied spirits.
• Carry an all purpose translators dictionary in case the ritual leader begins talking in some strange and unknown foreign language.
• Avoid joining your life force to anything with glowing red eyes.
• If asked to sign a contract or pact and you are experiencing doubts or reservations, sign your neighbours name. Malevolent entities rarely check for proper spelling.
• Blood IS thicker than water. Soak ritual garments an extra 30-45 minutes.
• While drunken weaving may be mistaken for ecstatic dancing, slurring the names of the Dark Lords is generally considered bad form.
• If the ritual leader should ask for a volunteer, resist the urge to raise your hand. While volunteering will likely gain you stature and prestige amongst the group allowing you to advance quickly through the ranks, it is equally likely to get you strapped to a table and eaten alive by a drooling demonic hoarde.

Return to the Sanctuary's Humor Page.

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page