| ::my ramblings:: |
| 11/28/00 Tuesday A continuation of the last rambling pages day...Or rather, my day. Hee Hee. Let's see...it sucks when parents get on our case about things huh? it seems that i need a lot of things to get done. my art projects, trying to work out things with college, and now my mom really wants me to find a job. god, i dont really want to work yet. =P its not so much the fact that im lazy, but i think that if i get a job i'll have even less time to do things for college. *sigh* Im not even completely sure if college is the answer..all i know is that i want to get out of the house..I NEED to get out of this house...... |
| 11/29/00 Wednesday Yikes! Only a few more days till December, and then It's Christmas time, and then new years, and then prom, then graduation, then summer, then...EEk! Dont think dont think dont think about it. Okayy, happy things! Happy! Like the fact that uhm...Ur..Damn. James my friend is moving to another school at the end of this week =( And also, i dont have much money to like go out and have fun! arg! what a load of ...la dee dah ^_^ hee hee hee! i like my new hair cut..cause it gives me like bangs...maybe i'll dye them purple... ::much time has passed:: after our thanksgiving break i really thought about not wanting to go to college.....maybe its not for me. but i guess i should go anyways, if i can afford it. it'll give me a chance to learn more crap, maybe get a good paying job, and get out of this house. |
| 11/30/00 Thursday Today is i think the last day of nov..or tomorrow is. Either way, its about to be December, the month of Christmas and New Years. Wowzers!! Time has gone by toooo fast i swear, this time last year i was thinking that being a senior was coming too quickly..Now thats almost done and over with. Had a pretty good day at school today, i was VERY tired, i tried talking to my school counselor to see about a schedule change. But the crazy lady wasnt there..if she was she probably wouldnt be of much help anyways. Hee Hee. Im going to see if i can sign up for another college transcript. I've gotta get my ass moving on this college shniet. =P Tomorrow is my friend James' last day at school! =( I'm gonna miss the skinny tall dude. Hee Hee. He says "Ba ba ba bacon!" Like no one else can *sigh* I'm finally working on that art thingy i always talk about. Usually i bring it home and just leave it there. But today i actually pulled it out and got some stuff done. Isnt that awesome? *grin* I borrowed the DVD of Fight Club from my great friend Dee! That movie rawks, i like all the things Tyler says. like "self improvement is masturbation" Freakin AWesome!! ^_^ Oh yeah, it also kinda helps that Edward Norton and Brad Pitt are 2 great looking men. ;-) Hmm..Maybe i should go read some of that book Pride and Prejudice. I need to read it for English Class *gags* At least we are done with Hamlet, tomorrow is our Exam over it. I havent read a damn thing of that book, all i really know is that Hamlet, the Queen, the King,and some other people die at the end. SAd huh? |
| 12/1/00 Friday The first day of december..how nice. Last night i thought i'd stay up awhile and work on this art project that i have. so i went into the living room late at night, and wanted to light some candles. because i didnt want to turn the lights on and have my mom go in there "jessica stop wasting electricy!" i got this lighter that a friend had given me, and i swear...it was possesed!! i tried lighthing this huge candle that had 3 wicks in it, and when i lit one, the flame went up realllllllly high, and it lit all 3 of them, and the flame from the 3 of them also went up pretty high, and my hand was actually in the fire for about 2 seconds. and then just as fast as it went up, it went out. i stood there like =O ::much time has passed:: i wish i had more candy..heehee. and sleep too. ::more time has passed:: its so weird how i get so excited and pleased just working on my website. sometimes i think that like NOBODY comes to see it, and that its not really worth my time. but i get a thrill out of making things look completely different after a few days, and coming up with new words and phrases or whatever. =) maybe its my way of coping with things..like a journal. yeah! oh my god! totally! yes! thats what its like for me! a healing instrument. great great great!! and i love every single one of you who does appreciate my website, and visits it often. *hug* mwa!! |
| 12/2/00 Saturday Now its the 2nd day of Dec. today i got news..made me feel happy, relieved, and yet lonley and unwanted at the same time. As usual the pessimistic feelings won over me..i began to cry. Seems that i still have to learn how to deal with my emotions much better, and try and make ME happy, not everyone else..[well of course i still like making ppl happy, but i cant always put it above me] Today i woke up, thought it'd be great to go out and hang out with some friends. But i knew i couldnt right away, or maybe not at all. Because my mom wants us to clean, and i kind of wanted to clean up my room really well today as well. So...i've got that to do. Please god...let today get much better, if it gets any crappier i dont know what i'll do... ::much time has passed:: yeah i got better. not that much though. hee hee, im just going to try and not think about it, i get this weird feeling when i do. and then i feel like crap from not eating too much today. i didnt eat a damn thing till 4pm. thats when i noticed just how dizzy i was, and i even blacked out!! scary! i cleaned up my room nice and proper. i should decorate my room more like my friend hayley. she has all these awesome collages of posters and such in her room, and a nice faery section. I should have a faery section, i love em! ^_^ that'd make me feel better. |
| 12/3/00 Sunday La dee dah dee daaaaah!!! =) Today im feeling much better then i was yesterday. Yeppers. I think today will be DVD day. I'll just sit around watching tons of DVD movies ...but first i have to clean. Hee Hee. it sounded kinda like i was sayin "im going to go on a huge adventure that will change my life completely, i'll meet wonderful and new people and in the end find myself and become one with the world..........but first i have to wash the dishes." *Laughs* How cute. I want to go to the beach and make sand castles with my bestfriend. I think it'll be great!! Just me and Him. Yep Yep. Okay, html is pretty groovy dude! ^_^ Okay, dats all for now. ::much time has passed:: friends comin over ooooh yeah! and if purchance they dont happen to come..i'll still be happy. just cuz i know that they did want to come over. aww ^_^ i can shake my hands very fast! isnt that cool? *grin* just thought i'd say that. i was listening to that song "jesus is the answer" by wesley willis. that guy is crazy like a mofo! wtf! i just heard that it was snowing up in Huntsville. Thats a few miles away from Houston!! =P it never snows over here, stupid weather!! punk roooock!!!!! im listening to that now. *grin* okie dokie. me go now, i wanna go clean up my room a bit. love yous all!! mwa mwa! |
| 12/4/00 Monday That damn president stuff is still going on ...Oh well. I dont really care bout it much anymore. A rookie cop was shot down and killed a few miles away from our school today. He had stopped a car that had been hijacked, and the driver i think apparently shot him and he died. THis happened like 30 minutes before school was supposed to start. So they didnt have time to tell us NOT to go to school. And it seems that there were like 2 guys in the car, and they got out and started running away from the scene. The cops were searching through the woods near our school. Everyone was kinda freaked out. I was like "yeah okay, nice" Hee Hee. My creative writing teacher wouldnt let me go to the restroom!!! The Restroom is like riiiight next to her class, and she said "i dont want to let anyone out in the halls, they could have gotten into the school and can jump you in the restroom!" =P EVIL!!! I had to wait till lunch to use the potty. Thank god i held it in!!! Even though the teacher wasnt too happy w/us today in that class, i decided that i wanted to stay in that class for next semester. I went to go see my counselor to talk to her about it, and as always, i took one of her Business cards. Hee Hee. Its this weird lil thing i do when i go to see her all the time. When she's not looking i take about 3 or 4 cards, when she is looking, i take just 1. That means she has to order a whoole lotta cards. *laughs* Im such a dork! ^_^ Urr..thats all i can think of to write about today so far. I hope you all pray for that cops family and friends. Cause i think its so sad how he died and all. ::much time has passed:: Okay, i'll admit it again. Cause im sure i have lots of other times..I make lots of unwise decisions. I usually have bad timing as well. When both of those things collide...bad news. [[which reminds me, the song bad news by the eels is cool get it]] I hate how i just want to make everythin perfect. its a bad habit im sure of it. one that i should try and break. peoples opinions on situations that i should handle are always in the back of my head. and as many of them have said, their advice doesnt mean much. cause in the end i'll do what i want to do. i've seen too many movies to wish that my life can be like most of them. picture perfect ending. all the colours come in once im happy. till then, its all black and white..yeah right. life, its all grey to me so far. *sigh* ::much time has passed, again:: i got home today, and didnt get online immediately. now if you know me...thats strange. *laughs* i took a nap, from about 3:20-5pm i thought it'd do me some good. But 50% of the time, it just makes me really tired and groggy. Its 10:01pm. And i havent eaten anything since lunch today..which was around 11:45am. thats at least 10 hrs since i last ate. Heh. I like letters, notes, emails..etc etc. They are neat. I mean, the person actually took the time to sit down and type, or write it down to you. That's just great. Yeah...guess thats all i wanted to say for now. |
| 12/5/00 Tuesday In english class our teacher is making us write a nice compliment to everyone in the class. [[annoymously]] She says we cant use things like "you are nice. you are quiet. you are pretty" kinda things. We have to be more descriptive like.."you have a bubbling personality" shit like that. Its funny, because most of the people in the class dont even know half the kids in there *laughs* I knew basically who everyone was when she had us write down just the peoples names. I have good things to say about everyone, even if i dont know them personally. Just from observation. That class is nice. There are only 3 guys, hee hee, and the rest are girls. And i've been noticing a lot how all of us are pretty. Each in our own good way. Yep Yep. [[no im not bullshitting you here]] So by the end of today i should have written down something nice about everyone. I dont recieve compliments too well...she said that she was going to show us what everyone had written about us in class later on. Scaaaary huh? Hee Hee. Lets just see how many people actually took the time to notice me somewhat. *laughs* I wasnt having a very good day at school today. I was verrrrrry sleepy. And just didnt feel much like thinking a lot about certain subjects. =\ Thats all i've gotta say for now. ::much time has passed:: alrighty. i like making out lists. OH crap! i forgot something else..gotta add that to the list. 1. give counselor schedule change form, talk to her about it for a bit 2. get college transcripts 3. go to yearbook room, ask a question 4. give friend back her video 5. give friend her speech that i printed out for her before first period 6. give another friend my work for english class 7. get out of school early to go downtown with my mom to talk to this lady about college and stuff *huge ass sigh* goodlord! #1-5 i've gotta do from 7am-7:25am. cause i have to be back in class by that time. Whew! Im sure i wont get a heartattack...Hee Hee. Maybe i should get a good nights rest before i do all of that tomorrow huh? =) whoooosh!! about 10 minutes or more passed when i last typed in that smiley face you saw there. Hee Hee. I got caught up in trying to update my mp3 file. *grin* Sorry!! But at least now i can listen to some awesome music when im online. ;) I looove listing things!! i've got 741 songs on my mp3 list now. woohoo!! i wont go bored now. *grin* okay..i should shuddap now. ::much time has passed..yet again:: im feeling all nausous or something at this moment. like i had just gotten off of a rollercoaster. no wait..im on the rollercoaster again. |