CHRIS FLOOD'S POETRY


POSSIBLY WORTH READING

The Cockroach*The Fight II*I Forgot My Dear*I,By the Window Sill*The Kiss*Our Mountain*Sunny Day*Train*TheTurquoise Experience

1996

Dreaming*Flower of My Mountain*Negligence*Our Mountain

1991 Poetry Project

How To Have Fun in Class*Me Poem*Who Dies Next?

THE 1994 OUTPOURING

Beauty*The Cockroach*Fight*Fight II*Futility*GreenTrick*Help*I Forgot My Dear*I, By the Window Sill*I,By the Window Sill II*incomplete*incomplete 2*incomplete3*Kiss*Last Day*Lost*My Little Yellow Flower*NewDay*On Unrequited Love*On Unrequited Love II*SpecialThank You*Sunny Day*Train Station*Train*TurquoiseExperience*What I Don't Think About*Where Were You?*WildLife

BEAUTY
5/1/94

Just gone out West
Never been there before
Nice place
Out there West
Far from the eastern shore.

What is next
On that horizon
So open
Free
Like a sea.

What is in a sea
Not just you and me

Can't tell
Unless I check
Which is you
Or which is me
Or which is just
Another fishy.

Can't tell
What is beauty.
Is it the big sea
Or you the fishy.

One close
One far
One the sky
One a star
Both filled
With a beauty
Of her own

Whether through the moist worlds
Looking back at me
Or through the clear expanse
Which surrounds me

And there is one way
How you can surround me too
With Love
You can surround me
I can surround you.
And we can make
Our own Beauty.

The West is a sea
Yes
But it has not that beauty
For which you and me
Can surround and see.

The West is open
Open like a sea
But what good is that
Without Beauty.

Our eyes
Our eyes can be open
Open for you and me
But what good is that
Without our Beauty.


THE COCKROACH
5/1/94

I tried to shut the cabinet door today
But I could not; something was in the way.


DREAMING
8/14/96

I see her coming to me her beautiful black satin hair enveloping her smooth tan skin
i wish that her hair envelope me too and with the scent of a distant perfume, that dream comes true
we are together, unclothed, that our skins might somehow feel into the other more totally
we are at peace, and i smile, bending to kiss her gently, for she is a delicate soul

i can feel the ocean lapping up before us
i hear the call of distant gulls and i remember how she, lovingly, read to me many nights ago of that one gull, go noble, so alone that gull that found his soul above the clouds who lived his life alone as i live mine dreaming desiring and so pushing my soul farther into the sky, as i let myself sink deep down below


THE FIGHT
5/28/94

How many men have said those words
How many watched your body's curves
How many have come to you in herds
How many before me have you assured?

You, my dear, are a common thing
Yet not so common it seems
For me
You so calm, so collected, so cool
Reel those tadpoles in by the pool

Oh baby where is the sense
That I can be yours
But you are not mine?
There shouild be a fine
But money won't do any good,
Nor will acting Robin Hood.

It's a natural thing
You must let them come and go
Maybe you fall into it everytime
Maybe there is such a thing as the throw

Please don't bother me anymore
Peace I had when you were not at my door
But alas that day you returned
Bringing the passion that burns

There is no resistence;
You are my subsistence,
My basic desire.
Oh, I am on fire.

There is a place
In the sky
For you and I;
We can duke it out.
I don't care
Can I say that
Farthest from the truth?
Care is all I do anymore.
Every little thing
It happens again
In my mind
In my dreams
On my bed
You lie with another man
The temptress you are,
Luring me to more,
I wonder if I can even the score.
I can never be satisfied;
I want to constantly climb higher;
I want the flaming woods,
Instead of the candle fire;
I want the double decker
With extra cheese
No onions please.
Instead of the taco,
There is the taco supreme.
Don't have enough money, do you?
Then there is only one thing on your list--
No alternative--
Supreme.
That's what you think you are
High up there;
You look down on me
On her;
Onwards you spur
My mouth dribbles
Savage to the touch.
My hair bristles
At her beauty and such.
Is that you?
Or is that me?
Or is that just my little fishy?
What game is this anyway,
That you make the rules?
I stay when you say,
She goes when you say,
Never enough for that day
Never enough, I'm sure, for my life.
It will end when she is my wife.
Ha ha.
What a plan.
You know what:
Aren't I supposed to be your fan?
Give me an "L"
Little by little,
Whittle by whittle,
You are picking on me,
And you think I cannot see?
Where did you go?
I thought I had you then
You had me

I've had enough--
the torture, that unrequited stuff--
You want me to call your name.
My friends,
You got them too.
You try to tantalize me with what they do;
You do.
I have a Stoic, I have a Pragmatist,
I have a heart, and, damn it, I have a fist.
I'll sock you in the face,
If you do this again--
But she is so beautiful--
This time, You win.


THE FIGHT II
5/31/95

How many men have said those words
How many caressed your body's curves
How many have come to you in herds
How many 'fore me have you assured?

You so calm, so collected, so cool,
Reel those tadpoles in by the pool.
You, my dear, are a common thing,
Yet not so common it seems for me.

Please don't bother me anymore
Peace I had when you were not at my door
But upon that day which you returned
You brought to me the passion that burns

There is a place that is in the sky
A place for you and a place for I;
We can certainly have it out up there
And if you lose, I don't really care.

Can I say that?  It's all I do anymore.
Every little thing, thought through as before
In my mind, in my dreams, and on my bed
You lie with another man, the fear in my head.

The temptress you are, luring me to more,
And I wonder if I can even the score.
But, never satisfied, I want to climb higher
Beyond the steady candle, into a raging fire.

You are picking on me, thinking I cannot see.
Where?  I thought I had you then you had me.
My friends, you got them too, and you try to
Tantalize me with what they do; you do.

Well I have a Stoic, I have a Pragmatist,
I have a heart, and, damn it, I have a fist.
I'll sock you in the face if you do this again.
But she is so wonderful; this time, you win.


FLOWER OF MY MOUNTAIN
8/14/96

I picked you alone
a purple flower
found by a stream at the foot of
My mountain, I thought of you with me this purple flower held by my heart climbing My mountain, I lost you alone again the purple flower entangled in the brambles of My mountain, 


FUTILITY (incomplete)
5/29/94

The waves caressed, they danced calmly on,
Covering, uncovering the beautiful shore.
The shore lay bare, prone but still,
A pride steadfast to the swelling sea.
With each wave, a layer of sand was removed,
Soon the rock was unlaid, the ocean, beat back
In time, the rock would have been worn,
The new sands eventually taken as before.

But impetuousity was also revealed,
For when the sands were lesser still.

(RHYTHM OK HERE DOWN)
The ocean swelled, the waves stood tall,
The winds blew hard, the storm was strong.
Ready it was to crush the sea town
So weak, so helpless on the ground
The final moment came, the blue tumbled forth,
The sands gave way to greater force.
Nothing was left, no hut, no life
No rubble, no strife, no difference from before.


THE GREEN TRICK
5/6/94

I scarcely recall.
The green man walking,
down the road
that was what.
he was doing
walking down the road not, Just the blacktop road but the End of the road he was, indeed, near he wore that mold-green-suit. For one last time. That. Mold green suit   an article from the rambunctuous, wild roaring, twenties or the Thirties - I don't - Know it.  Seemed very little to matter, now except that it was green, and green, is funny... i did not know. why he was. wearing that green suit of his he held himself? in an air, of pride he strode with steps of greatest stride, he would not have been so Old but for that funny Green suit of his He walked. by he did he did not stop to say "Hello! but, he could not have anyway he was too old and i too far away he could not see he was too old and i. Was too far away his suit matched the grass in the Lawn across the street he and the grass they did meet. he walked off. he walked far, he walked out, of my sight he could, have gotten into a car he could have been, someone i knew but did not. Talk to. Yes, he walked a distance so expansive that you would think that he would have gotten somewhere. He did not. Do I dare? He did not get anywhere. 


HELP
5/6/94

Help yourself
To a little breeze
Help yourself
To the one who will please
Help yourself
To a bit of life
That is what is available for the taking
Along with some strife.

Help yourself
Wear the foolish attire
Help yourself
When you are instantly fired.
Help yourself
To think not what you'll say
Help yourself
To the later day.

Where would we be
Without Help? 


HOW TO HAVE FUN IN CLASS
3/3/91 Poetry Project

If you find class to be an incredible bore,
Follow the following instructions, and you will like it more
Correct the teacher as much as you can
Make up things you don't understand
Be obnoxious
Be rude
Always, always, raise your hand
But speak whenever you please
And if things start getting dull
Create a huge disruptive sneeze!
Ask stupid questions
Answers to which you know
But caution!
Don't ever, ever
Let the teacher see you throw
Don't look at this in a mean way
Because when all the students laugh at you,
you know you've  made their day.


I FORGOT MY DEAR
5/15/94

My Dear, I forgot to say
How I felt yesterday.
Yes, I know what I said
About the movie that we saw
About the three insects dead
About the swift slippery Haw.
But Dear, I forgot to say
How exactly I felt yesterday.

Yes, I know I did speak
About the relaxation we gained
About the best day of my week
About the flutterby we rained
But alas Dear, I forgot to say
How truly I felt yesterday.

Yes, I know we talked
About the Cuturefest star
About the thorny path walked
About the ball thrown too far
Woe Dear, I forgot to say
How that all felt yesterday.

For of all these things
I could have said but a word.
Underlying our whole day
Is the sentence still unheard.
Yes my Dear, I forgot to say
How I myself felt yesterday.

Everything thought upon
Gleaned through and through,
It all leads back,
My Dear,
I loved you. 


I, BY THE WINDOW SILL
5/29/94

i have walked through the woods
i have swept past the leaves
i have thought that i should
   as i danced in the seas

i have seen the sky sheen blue
i have stood high upon my hill
i have glimpsed myself with you
   i, by the window sill

i have danced with you my dear
i have climbed a monumental peak
i have rescued you from fear
   as i feared to speak

i have sat with you alone
i have kissed your tender lips
i have set the romantic tone
   as in the movie clips

i have felt your hand on mine
i have stroked your flowing hair
we have spoken together
   longer than we dare

i know there are others
i know there is more
i know there is tomorrow
   as but a briefly open door 


I, BY THE WINDOW SILL II
5/30/94

i have walked through the woods
i have swept past the leaves
i have thought that i should
   as  i danced in the seas

i have seen the sky blue
i have stood on my hill
i have glimpsed me and you
   i, by the window sill

i have danced with you, dear
i have climbed a tall peak
i have rescued you from fear
   as i feared to speak

i have sat with you alone
i have kissed your rich lips
i have set tones of romance
   as in movie clips

i have felt your hand mine
i have stroked your smooth hair
we have spoken together
   longer than we dare

i know that there are others
i know that there is more
i know that there is tomorrow
   as but a brief open door


incomplete
5/16/94

Help yourself, sir
To the green trees outside
To the horses the girls ride
To the meaningless aside

Help yourself, sir
To the sky up above
Let your eyes drink in the blue
To the passionate touch of love

Let yourself feel the lust become true
And as we speak
Someone somewhere
Will be planning your demise

The mendicant in the street
Wants your cash
The charlatan on the stand
Wants your silence
The politician now
Wants your obedience
The friend of all friends
Wants your dear
The raging storm
Wants your fear.

There you will give
Here you will take
But there is one thing
Which you must not forsake


incomplete 2

The little nettle in my pocket
I water like no other weed
Occassionally I flaunt
Its pretty stars
For everyone to see

I don't think
If it glows
As I see it myself in there
If it shines
With fire
Tears in their eyes
If it glooms
Portending doom
Fear in other hearts
If it reaches out
Grabs anyone
And squeezes them
Whole juice lemon I like
Watching them
Watching it
No matter what they
Say it feels
The same that way
It makes me big
It makes me strong
To see it when
Another is wrong
His error is
Not my mistake
His foolery is
Now mine to forsake
Fill me up
With your smiles
With your grins


incomplete 3
2/6/95

Each not rolls over
My heart turns asunder
I don't recall the last time
I hated you

I know that I love you now
How is it that I can sob each time
The music moves me
So momentous
Love
Is so momentous
Flowers grow
The sky it snows
The earth quakes
The breeze shakes
You move inside me
  tidal wave for my life
  nothing stopping
Always rushing
Over the shoals of my heart
Smother the passing
I cry but you soak
Up my tears with your sea
Broad bountiful beautiful
The blue the green
Of life
Each wave lapping
 


THE KISS
5/1/94

Who chose green for the grass
Who chose grass for the plants
Who chose plants for the life
Who chose to make life did not chose
The words for it.

What word is there for life
What word is there for its beauty
What word is there for you
What am I to say when you confront me
In all your unspeakable splendor?

There is nothing to say
And so I am silent
Waiting for
What time is adequate
To say what words cannot.


THE LAST DAY
4/10/93

I lie with anticipation,
Awaiting the one I love.
Today I called in invitation,
Wondrous that the gods above
Could allow such accepting
to my proposal of time,
And now I lie awaiting
to see if she will be mine.
My mind wanders in my space,
every shadow, every crook.
I am losing my intelligent pace
and I lay aside my book
Outside the birds sing
the soft wind blows
Inside the speakers ring
with music she'd oppose
Yet in her absent being
it is all of which I dream
Every bit I am seeing
beautiful and clean
And still I lie with only my worry
wanting a knock at the door
If when such comes to me
I know it will be a bore.


LOST
5/29/94

Where where where have you gone?
I await you here to sing you my song.
Ever since I did proclaim my love
It has been denied by forces above.
I look for you but you disappear
I am where we were and you are not here.
Are you sick, are you ill, are you okay, my dear?
Or do you walk the stray path away from fear?
It does make sense I do suppose:
A single word, a blood red rose.
I searched for you, I hunted you down,
Brandishing the flower to bring you round.
The word but a word so thick so heavy
Plummets upon you, breaking the levy.
O where o where are tomorrow's sunny rays?
I am there already but waiting here today.


ME POEM
3/3/91 Poetry Project

I am an artistic boy who wants to use his imagination
I wonder if there is a good life for me
I hear the clank of weapon and steel
I see the creature of a full moon night
I want to imagine all the time

I am an artistic boy who wants to use his imagination
I pretend to be a glorious warrior at the heart of battle
I feel the magic course through my veins
I touch the wounded soldier on the blood-stained field
I worry that my dream will be left behind
I cry to see the artist without a life

I am an artistic boy who wants to use his imagination
I understand the cold realities of the world
   but I say that without creativity, there can be nothing
I dream of what life will bring for one like me
I try to prepare for the rigors of the world
I hope that I can be happy

I am an artistic boy who wants to use his imagination.


MY LITTLE YELLOW FLOWER
5/6/94

My little yellow flower lies dying
On the white paper board
If I smashed it with a hammer
The image would be imprinted
on the white paper board.
If I twisted it around a cork
The yellow would shrivel
the image begone
But the prophecies say
I would last long
For gently I handled the weed.
If oh so manipulatively around the cork I weaved
the fortunes would tell
Upon my meticulous loom is a tortuous road
to hell.
The sinister man
Ties his shoe
With another's hand
While playing chess
But so does
the kingly man.

Is the kingly man sinister
The kingster man sin
Is that a noble smile
Or a calculating grin?

I look at my dying flower
I touch it with my mind
It flutters slightly from the wind
That motion goes down for all time.
In my memory that flower
Will always live
In my view, in my hand

I am a king
I am a master
I am a slob
I am a bastard.

What is real for me
May be real for you
What is real for us
Is real for two
What is real for most
Is not real for all
I know my flower Is dying.

If I make you think
What is and is not real
Is that different than
What the rest convinces of you
I have reason
To force you to my side
I have the sense
To be gentle to my flower
So may I deal with you.

For I am a king
I am a master
I am a slob
And I am a flower.


NEGLIGENCE 8/14/96 Alone by the stream I saw you purple beauty Bells from a flower Dangling gently I thought of you Jade And I picked you and only you from that journey to the mountain stream I thought of you and thought of you What I would do for you with you as I climbed that mountain to  the clearing to that clearing where man is where nature is lost and so I lost you My flower For when I got home you were no longer in my pocket where I had placed you so carefully with love What do I do now? Lost What do I do now? Do I return for you? Do I look for you elsewhere? Or do I move on, looking for someone anew? I have moved on now I am looking for someone new but you do not escape my mind thinking of you constantly the love I lost through negligence. 


THE NEW DAY 5/1/94 Old friends who part deeply weeping As the days grow old and new Loss is not what it may seem When one realizes he just grew. For every home left, every friend gone leaves room for something more to hold oneself in everlasting bliss is to life to shut the door It is known that good and bad don't mix but without one the other won't stay The only certain path to a good moment Is to relinquish the darker day. But so must come another night to show just what is being missed else there is no value to being happy, glad, married, dad, or kissed. So look at whatever may come your way let it move you for all it is worth and may the last day be the worst one had so today is the best on earth. 
ON UNREQUITED LOVE 5/1/94 We rewrote Shakespeare's Othello We painted doodles of art together She said I was a good fellow I could have lasted forever The final day of school appoached My last chance to make it real I had in my pocket my proposition Drawn on paper an artist's deal. She brushed my shoulder that day In a tender caress A caress Is all I ever had. For when I looked back past to where she had been I knew that of unrequited love  I was the master Then I learned the art of love hate She was obnoxious, I was rude The happy fusses did not abate But I did not think what could be more crude Aye, the football player stole her that year Even as I thought things would come into clear The fusses became real The affection lost Animosity was the deal But summer abated the cost. Next was my tender love Not unlike the first We made a good team And soon I found again the thirst As the end of the year came near Ready was I to ask her If she could but be my dear  And once again I was master. And ah what words can be used to describe The lust The passion The woeful vibe Of the first true feeling of absolute power For with the lava of the broken heart I was scoured. There was a glimpse of the calm bliss For a day it did last I did not know what had happened It went by much too fast I knew I was quick But I could have been faster Of unrequited love  I am the master. 
ON UNREQUITED LOVE II 5/1/94 What words can be used to describe The lust The passion The woeful vibe Of the first true feeling of absolute power For with the lava of the broken heart I was scoured. There was a glimpse of the calm bliss For a day it did last I did not know what had happened It went by much too fast. I knew I was quick But I could have been faster Of unrequited love  I am the master. 
Our Mountain 2/9/95   I did not know this boulder to be so heavy One block green another stone blue Bound infinitely together by unbreakable glue Come build our turquoise mountain We have glimpsed how high this structure can stand How far out into the fields we can see Now we must look inwards Make strong the steps to our height There is no stability in flight The glory and wonder can be had again With patience Take these pebbles and pile them together Scatter them about We cannot climb on them anymore As each peak we build is done May we climb it 'fore the next one Look out and be reminded how it can be In what we all see Sweetness shall come again And then not only will it rush across us But it will feel fresher in our labor And it shall fill the veins of our love Renewing our vigor And someday we shall be higher than ever before Still building for more That is our goal But for now forget that all And let us build One rock at a time 
A SPECIAL THANK YOU FOR A DREAM COME TRUE 5/15/94 we have walked through the woods we have swept past the leaves i have thought that i should  as we danced in the seas we have seen the sky sheen blue we have climbed a monumental peak i have rescued you from fear  as i feared to speak we have held hands for a time i have stroked your flowing hair we have spoken together  longer than we dare i was one who had no hope i said that dreams came not true i thought my thoughts would never be  possible because of you thank you my dear for that beautiful day thank you my dear you are beautiful too thank you my dear for everything you are thank you my dear and i love you 
THE SUNNY DAY 5/15/94 How wonderful that sunny day was; How beautiful you were, How the embers were stirred, How no nymph can surpass. Indeed, if that were all Why does the flickering candle of life last? The charred bodies The burning flesh The human ashes The flame for death.  
THOUGHTS 8/14/96 thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts more and more and more thoughts i am thinking them all the time i do not converse that i might convesrse in my mind and i do not act for then i would not dream and i do not awake for sleep is my only peace from my thoughts. 
THE TRAIN STATION 5/1/94 We lay back We go home We see But we don't know. The walls stand as blurs Steel images fleeing Whizzing Buying Too much to worry about Why should I care Too much out to see Too much just out there. Too much but it goes By so fast That it seems In the little pocket windows With the round rubber black edges Too little. Recline Look up And what do you see The blue sky blue sea There it is still A moment you can clasp With your eyes With your heart With the motion of a bird The blue is cut And it cannot be there Beside you There is silver gray In the way. And you are whisked along Along for the ride The ride of your life Your life is a ticket A ticket To where Do you know Do I know Does anybody really know. What if your ticket expires? If you stay In the station Where you are now The gray silver whizzes You get dizzy. If you get in the walls You are entrapped Enclosed You cannot see enjoy The outside The sky whizzes by If you run with the train Hard work that is My friend If you look around you And not at the end You won't do so much running Everything else will seem to be staying with you You can reach out Touch the gray-silver And it won't burn your hand But a carress. But a carress Is all we ever can have. 
THE TRAIN (Revised Version of The Train Station) 5/1/94 The walls stand as blurs Steel images fleeing Whizzing Buying Too much to worry about Why should I care Too much out there to see Too much just out there. Too much but it goes By so fast That it seems In the little pocket windows With the round rubber black edges Too little. To stay In the station The gray silver whizzes You get dizzy Spinning round. Recline Look up And what do you see The blue sky blue sea There it is still A moment you can clasp With your eyes With your heart With the motion of a bird The blue is cut And it cannot be there. Above you There is silver gray In the way. If you run with the train Hard work that is My friend If you look around you And not at the end You won't do so much running The train won't be going so fast. You can reach out Touch the gray-silver And it won't burn your hand But a carress. But a carress Is all we ever can have. 
THE TURQUOISE EXPERIENCE 2/9/95   One Boulder At a time Did not know it must be so hard Lost the grasp of me   In the stars of the blue sky   The glimmer of the green sea Lost in their union at infinity A gust on our high Crumbling artifice of tiny pebbles Scatters the gems and Crushed me upon this craggy peak Swirling fields sweep around Dancing rivers flow and stream The breeze spins my starry eyes   To her Falling into ethereally bound limbs As we roll a boulder into its crevice Stepping up in stability With the very sky With the very sea We our mountain must build My blue stone, her green rock uniting Our turquoise experience 
WHAT I DON'T THINK ABOUT 5/1/94 there is something that i just don't think about how the squirrel died in my front yard how the sparrow egg was cracked to shards how the rodent was crushed by the oncoming car those are the things that don't go very far there is something else i don't think about how the bacteria becomes dormant in the cold how it would be smart to adapt before too old how there could be a new strain tomorrow these are the things that bring me no sorrow but that is not all there is still more that i don't think about how i could get poisoned eating my food tonight how i could crash my car in the moonlight how i could trip and fall and break my neck  and die those are the other things that don't make me cry i can learn to swim tomorrow i can learn the swing another day i can laugh to get myself out of sorrow i can let sweet love slip away so i live with no fear of tomorrow why should i want to anyway i am my own man and i figure that i'm here to stay 
WHERE WERE YOU? 5/15/94 It prances around Flying leaps and bounds Digging into the ground Climbing the rocky mound. From up here things are blue There you are too I am not sure what I am to do So I send it down through You don't see what I'm doing In your blush you are glowing The rapid water sowing What no woman thinks is owing. What sort or kind On the treetops do you find I am there, you ahead and behind Such is the power of the mind. 
WHO DIES NEXT? 3/3/91   Death strides in Swinging her scythe Reaping the trees Abundant with life The hand of man Grows forever strong We rule this world But can we handle this power? A chainsaw is a meal for a family Keeping them alive But destroys a species That might have given one Joy for that day To watch it live, eat, breathe, play When one lives They can expect to die And thus this world is filling So others must be pushed aside Can we keep the balance? Maintain the cycle of life? Or must all give way To the dominance of man From which comes the doom of all others And when they are all gone Who begins to die next? 
THE WILD LIFE 5/28/94 I used to say be a pal to Ms. MacDowell, But why ask her what fault lies in me? A smile here, a smile there, it should be; No need for the primal kiss, the feral growl. Then I used to say be a pal to Ms. MacDowell, Cool, calm, collected, and smiling for hours; We could say many things; the world was ours, We could climb a tree with words, think like an owl. The birds, they can see it all, we could too, The lovers below, what do we need that for? We could look at each other and smile some more, But there are things a word, a smile cannot do. 
Chris Flood 1