«The 12 Ages»

~This is the place where nightmares are spawned… no, no… that could not be farther from the truth… this place is more akin to the nightmare of the universe… no, even that does not quite describe it… it is the place which even nightmares fear… it is the place that the universe refuses to believe exists… the place that deep within, no being wants to encounter… it is not Hell, nothing as simple as that - for even Hell shakes at the thought of this place… this place is madness… this is the hollow echo within the mind… the dark places where cobwebs grow… this is the There, so far as it has a name… even Angels, protected by kindness and goodness cannot come in… they do not even like the sight of it… many of them, if they come across it, walk past, with their heads turned the other way… any who come remotely close to it would feel fear begin to grow within themselves, escalating until their minds begin to scream with the pain… no, this place is not Hell… this is beyond the realm of pain and fire… this There does not care for good or for evil… it does not know hate, it does not know love… but it does not care… not here… not where the darkness is alive… not where the shadows are a tangible force that coax at you, that prod at you, that try to reach for a taste of pure Essence… this is a horrible place, so horrible that even the woman standing at the threshold knows fear for it… a different fear then most, but a terrible, gripping fear nonetheless… she feels fear for many reasons… she knows in the way that she Knows, that those with an Essence cannot enter this place - willingly at least… she thinks, as a cruel grin spreads over her full lips - those with souls, spirits, as she has heard… for this place is the place against such things… it vibrates with a resonance that is opposite to that of an Essence… yet here she can stand, knowing not the insane fear and madness that comes from that… only a logical fear… a fear bred from knowing too much… from thoughts that have been added together and come out with something chilling… horrible… terrifying… if ever there were a Jabberwocky in the vastness of this universe, it would cower under the gaze of this…~

~The woman begins to shift her position… even now, she feels uncomfortable, even only standing on the threshold… for even here, the madness is there, beckoning to her, calling to her, trying to lure her in… trying… trying to… welcome… her, and that is what makes her afraid… she looks all about herself, and finally looks in, seeing only one figure in that darkness… one very shadowed figure, far into the reaches of the There… yet she could not yet force herself to go in… for with every beckoning that is sent her way, her resolve begins to melt… she cannot face it… she knows too much, and yet not enough… she knows that it pulses against an Essence, but it does not pulse against her… it pulses with her… it beats as she beats, as if some twisted heart within her… she knows the cause of it, and it was the fault of the man within… the man that she had put there aeons ago… so very, very long ago… but what she did not know was if the others of her kind lacked an Essence, as well… but that would not make sense, for they would not keep a closed eye upon this place if it did not harm them… and the man within, he was of her own kind, and he had screamed as she dragged him here… but then… then… was she the only one like this?… a sudden sense of utter loneliness washes over her… alone, in the vast reaches of the universe… alone… and yet again, her future comes back to haunt her… always alone… she fidgets yet again, and forces herself to look away from the moving shadows… forces herself to - futilely - make herself beat against its rhythm… but for anything and everything, she knows that it is entirely the fault of the being within There… if he had not done what he had, nothing would be the same as it is… she would not be here, she would not be like this… her future would have been so vastly different, that even the thought of it is enough to cause her cold, cruel eyes to threaten to crack… and even his future would have been different… he would not be serving the sentence that he is… but no, for his hatred, for his malice, she will keep him here, alive and horrified for as long as she can… let him have a taste of the future he dealt for her… it is what he deserves…~

~Imagine, if you can, having to exist in a place where your only company is darkness… a moving, slithering darkness that never stops speaking to you… never stops prying into your mind… it would not seem that bad, for being able to speak to something can always help prolong one's sanity… yet this darkness is not interested in conversations… what it speaks, is only one way… and it does not speak, not in the strictest sense of the word… what it does is place its thoughts into the mind of any nearby sentient being… and these are not the thoughts one wants to be forced to think… these are thoughts that cause the mind to swirl, that cause chaos to break out… these are the kinds of thoughts that make you feel like the rug has been pulled beneath your feet… and yet you don't fall, you don't go back to standing… it is as if you are frozen in that one moment… and now, imagine being bound in a place like this… bound with nothing that you can feel, yet a prisoner all the same… and knowing, just knowing, that this place will keep you alive, merely because it can… you can hope that the lack of nourishment will cause you to die… one day… but that isn't so… not in this place… not ever in this place… the worst thing of all is the knowledge that it is this place… this There… that keeps you alive… it feeds off of the fear, the madness… and the sweetest elixir it knows is a being's Essence… this is a place where truly no one will hear you scream… in fact, if you tried, the darkness would surge forward and swallow it… would take the energy… it is useless to scream, here… the man bound learned that aeons ago, but that had not stopped him… he had kept screaming until his voice had left him… he had stripped his voice bare, because he had known that by that time, his screams were the only thing keeping him sane… and then they had left him… and he was alone… so alone……………….. this was the fate he deserved… no, it was only a fraction of what he really deserved… but it was as much as she was able to give… this was the fate he had given her… he had put this darkness inside of her… he had destroyed who she was… he was the cause of her madness… if it were not for him… if… if only… for now, her punishment has been set… because of him… she prayed she could die… she prayed that when her body died, her mind would go with it… but it would not, and she knew it… always present… always alive… if not in body, then in mind… cursed… (if only!)… so that when the universe ended, she would still be there… she would exist, if it could be described so much, when nothing else did… nothing, but this seething darkness… nothing except this madness to keep her company… for all eternity… all true eternity……… her thoughts fade, and she can feel the hopelessness eating away at her, boiling in her blood… she cannot stall any longer… she must go in, or she must leave - but she has to do it now, before the madness seeps into her sooner than it has to… yet, there is no true choice - she steps in…~

Hello. ~She speaks quietly, not knowing why she bothers… for, moments after her words leave her lips, the sound is literally sucked in to the filled emptiness around her… besides, the man to whom her words were directed would not have heard them… and if he had, he would not have understood them… not after all this time… perhaps, like him she speaks for at least it is something… something that drives the thoughts away… something that distracts her… yet, like the man's screams, they are useless, and she knows it… but she speaks anyway, because these words that are forcing themselves out have been waiting for ages, aeon upon aeon to come out… these words have been waiting since one bright day, so long ago… a day that has rerun through her mind countless times… a day, with an innocent child… (she would never have turned out like this)… she closes her eyes, and rubs the heel of her hand against her forehead… these should not be her memories… this should not have been her future… she opens her eyes, and an expression of sincerest sorrow overcomes her features… this should not be anyone's future… least of all that of a young child…~ How could you do it? ~Her voice is very soft at this point… so soft that if anyone that knew her heard her at this moment, they would be certain that it is an imposter speaking… for never, in a thousand years, could this queen of ice… could this woman, who was idly wiped the blood of thousands off her knife… never, could she speak with such a volume of heartache within her voice…~ I was only a child… ~She pauses, a catch in her voice… she had been about to speak his name… but no, she would not do it… she would not give him the honour of having even a name to attach to the hideousness that is his existence…~

~She walks around him, watching him with eyes softer than they have been for centuries… yet softer not because she pities him - she would rather forfeit the hope of death before that - but for the pain pulling at her from within… images flicker before her eyes… him, watching her across the street, and she stopping… him, now caught upright, held by nothing… him, lunging at her, placing his hands on her head… him, screaming as she drags him here… him, whispering that one word… one, simple word…~ Shxtyl… ~She whispers the word, so softly… she barely even hears it herself before it is sucked away… that one word, that put this darkness into her… the word, that caused her to butcher dozens of her own kind… the word that made her be banished from her homeland… the word that ripped her from her daughter… that gave her this madness as her future… that forced her down to this plane… she looks up to him, anger mixing and swirling with the sorrow in her eyes… no, she does not pity him, this creature with the now-bulging eyes, with head lolled back in final submission… she hates, him, still hates him as bitterly as that one day…~ How could you hate a child so much? ~She continues to walk around his form, still speaking… her words, for the short while that they can be heard punctuated by a sharp, hopeless anger…~ Did you even know? Did you know that your curse put this inside of me? ~She stops… stops her speaking, stops her steps… and wonders…~

~When was it exactly when she lost her Essence?… was it when he cursed her?… was it when she had her daughter?… was it in that shadowy time where she thought she had killed her Essence herself?… it does not make sense… if he had put a part of this There into her (how had he come across it in the first place?), then would it not have destroyed her Being at that very moment? But no, that is not quite right… he had set a catalyst to set it off… the moment in which she felt truest happiness… oh, he was an evil and sly one… she looks up at him, and whispers yet again…~ Yet no longer so evil and sly. ~She shakes her head, her hair of fire tumbling over her shoulders, and falling into her face… it still did not matter… he had done what he had done… and though this was the worst punishment she could ever even conjure up in her twisted mind, it was still a far cry from what he had done to her… and what he had done, no amount of punishment would ever be able to suffice…~ A child… ~She sighs, and rubs the heel of her palm against her forehead again… this place was getting to her… it was slowly seeping inside of her… into her skin, in every breath she took… she had to leave… and soon… but it was not just… he would die when all else ended, and would leave her alone, and behind… all for his hate… she wondered though, what would happen when she was all alone… surrounded by nothing but madness… in the back of her mind, a thought tried to push itself forward… she tried to reach it, but it dissipated as fast as it had appeared… something that she wasn't getting… something that would make her understand it all… she frowned to herself, her lips pulling slightly downwards at the corners… this place was definitely getting to her, now… and with one last look to the being that symbolized her downfall, she leaves… quite happily, she leaves…~

~Left behind, is nothing more than a hollow husk… a mind unable to let go of its imprisonment, for its body is still alive… and so, caught as he is, he is nothing more than mad… utterly mad… but he is the only one that knows… the only one that had ever known… and he had carried the secret… oh, he had never hated her, that child with the red hair and eyes of the dawn sky… never… he had to do what he did… it was his role to play… he hated it, he had always hated his role, but he had no choice… he wished he could have told her… he wished she could know… yes, he was there in her Twelfth Age… he existed with her… but he should not have existed as sentient for so long… he was now living beyond his Last Age… he had been the catalyst to begin this Age… he had caused his darkness to become Aware… he had woken Oblivion… he was that which existed with them, and yet apart… his was the steady, linear beat… that caused things to have been, to be, and to become… he could never have told her… he could never have explained that it was her role for the end of her Cycle… he never wanted to do this, not to her… if only she had known what she did, when she spoke the word… when she had died in his arms in the previous Age… she had marked herself, and it was a call he had to obey… in each life, in every Age, he had known it was her… he had always known her… and he had always died soon after her… always after her… but he deserved it… he had always been the one that killed her… he deserved the pain of seeing her die… but now, he was dying before her… and it made him sick with hopelessness… of all times, it was now that she deserved to die first… she did not know he was with her… this time, he had been hidden from her at the crucial moment… she would never know… and she would never know why this had been done to her… never… he had never hated her, in any Cycle… it was just… ill-fated… cruel… always loved you… and always the one to let her down… it was better that she brought him here… he would have gone mad, anyway… but better to be so cruel than to be kind… better to be mad then dead… but she still will never know…~

The 12 Ages

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