The Kerri Strug Thing
If you ever win the Olympic gymnastics team gold medal and have to stand on the podium with your teammates, please, please, please do one teeny, tiny, little thing for me. Wear your warm-up pants. Just do it. It won’t kill you to find your entire uniform before you receive your medal.
I watched Kerri Strug bravely vault into the history books in July of 1996. I sympathized with her when she got hurt. I saw her hop up on the podium between Shannon Miller and Dominique Moceanu and wave her bouquet of flowers. I didn’t think anything of it until I saw her box of Wheaties on Jay Leno’s show.
I didn’t realize how ridiculous it looked until Kelly, Bear, and Jake started laughing hysterically at the funny picture. There, on a box of Wheaties, were seven little gymnasts dressed exactly alike in warm up jackets and pants, dance shoes, and gold medals.
Except for Kerri who looked like she was in her underwear.
What are a person’s eyes drawn to when they first see this box of Wheaties? The bright orange lettering? No. The words that declare you are eating the breakfast of champions? No. The big smile on Amy Chow’s face? No. The medal on someone’s neck? No.
I’ll tell you what a person notices first. That big honking bandage on Kerri Strug’s leg and the fact that she’s standing there in her underwear. Okay, okay, it is her leotard. But it looks like she is one step away from streaking Atlanta.
You don’t see Dan Jansen up on the podium without his speed skating outfit. You don’t see Michael Johnson without his track shorts. You don’t see Kristi Yamaguchi waving her flowers to the crowd without her skirt on. Yet they all had cereal boxes with their pictures on them.
I have one of those Wheaties boxes. It sits on top of my TV with my miniature manger scene and balancing Boba Fett Taco Bell toy. Every time I see it I laugh at it.
The thing is, someone must have seen this picture before it went to print at the General Mills cereal box making plant. Who thought this was a nice picture?
"Oh, look, it’s the gymnastics team!"
"Hey, cool. But why is one girl in her underwear?"
"It’s not her underwear. It’s her leotard."
"Well, it looks like underwear. We should really put a different picture on the front of a cereal box that will be seen by every shopper in America."
"The only other pictures we have are of Dominique Moceanu falling on her rump off the vault and Amy Chow hitting her eye on the beam."
"What about that Shannon Miller girl? Got any pictures of her?"
"Well we did, but they got stuck in with the Dream Team ones and now they’re in Chicago with Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippin."
"So this no warm up pants thing is the only picture we’ve got?"
"Yep."
"Do you think people will think she’s in her underwear?"
"No. Everyone knows it’s her team uniform."
"Okay, let’s go for it."
If I ever win the Olympics I will wear my warm up pants for the cereal box picture. I don’t want some people in a camp somewhere watching Jay Leno to laugh at me.