September 1, 2001
"This is what the LORD says: Sometimes it can be difficult to reconcile God's love with his actions. Not that I doubt it or struggle to believe its true, but its hard to really understand how they work together. In my mind, difficulty or pain somehow can't equal love but that's not true. Today as I was thinking and praying about a hard decision I've made and need to implement it becomes clearer. As I prayed about what I want to see happen as a result of my decision I prayed that they would see it for what it is... an act of love. There is hurt and anger that requires me to do something to change the situation but its because I love them and want things to change. Enough so, that I'm willing to do what's hardest to help bring that about. There is a part of me that certainly could opt for the easier way out, something that doesn't involve conflict and feeling pain but my love for them pushes me to go where I'd otherwise rather not. The thought, the knowledge, the decision brings tears to my eyes not because I want to hurt back in spite or vengeance it's because I love them so much I have to do this, there is no other alternative. As I was thinking about that I started to understand, really understand emotionally some of what God must have felt, and I'm sure still does, in his dealings with us. I've wondered a lot lately, especially as I've read through the prophets with his promises that he must punish them but he loves them and he will restore them again... His love for us is intense, beyond our comprehension, he wants the best for us, he loves us so much he is willing to allow us to go through hard times, to be hurt, to feel pain, to feel the effects of our decisions, to hit some of the lowest and toughest points in our lives because he knows we must change and this is what it takes to get there... it is always an act of love on God's part. He doesn't send us there without feeling the ache himself but he has to let us go through it... he is not a God of love... He IS Love.
"'Your wound is incurable, your injury beyond healing.
There is no one to plead your cause,
no remedy for your sore, no healing for you.
All your allies have forgotten you; they care nothing for you.
I have struck you as an enemy would and punished you as would the cruel,
because your guilt is so great and your sins so many.
Jeremiah 30:12-14
"God is love."
1John 4:16