June 8, 2001
So I got my glimpse of God as I opened a fortune cookie at lunch today.. sounds funny I know. I'm not one to typically look for 'signs' but sometimes something speaks right to the need of the hour. As I work to resolve issues of my past I remember things I had previously put away. I've come to understand that it's God giving me things as I'm ready to deal with them but it causes me to really wrestle. At times, it's hard to accept that I can have forgotten any of this for any length of time... but I know it's not unusual. At any rate, going through that this week has had me questioning myself and in my accused personality I very quickly swing toward the idea that this is all my imagination and really freak me out, it can really paralyze me... my integrity before God is so important to me... I want to know that in my heart and actions I'm striving for righteousness all the time but Satan can get a foothold and get me question myself. I'm constantly praying, and was last night & today, that God will help me to be clear and confident in what and how I'm working through things. So anyway, I opened my 'fortune' today and it said :
"Your heart is pure, your mind clear and your soul devout"
It felt like God just leaned over and kissed me on the forehead telling me he knows my heart, he knows what's going on inside me and everything will be okay. That is my favorite and most tender image of God.. and I'm so glad he's patient with me and he loves me.
"I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you "Do not fear; I will help you"
Isaiah 41:13