August 6, 2001
"O LORD, you deceived me, and I was deceived;
you overpowered me and prevailed.
I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me.
Whenever I speak, I cry out
proclaiming violence and destruction.
So the word of the LORD has brought me
insult and reproach all day long.
But if I say, "I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,"
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.
Jeremiah 20:7-9
Jeremiah wrestled long and hard with his understanding of God and his own self doubts. Though he reached points where he was so unsure what God was doing, whether God had 'deceived' him that he decided not to speak in God's name... but he couldn't hold it in. In his final analysis he came to some conclusions... God would never let him go! Nor would he ever let him down!! I respect a heart that wrestles honestly with God but doesn't settle until they see God for who he is. It is so easy to give in to the doubts that seem to float around - but God always rewards those who earnestly seek him.
"But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior;
so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail.
They will fail and be thoroughly disgraced;
their dishonor will never be forgotten.
O LORD Almighty, you who examine the righteous
and probe the heart and mind,
let me see your vengeance upon them,
for to you I have committed my cause. "
Jeremiah 20:11-12