April 26, 2001
"I know where you live-where Satan has his throne.
Yet you remain true to my name."
Rev 2:13
I caught myself again today with a vague thought/feeling that perhaps God is disappointed in me because I'm going through hard times, because I 'feel' down, because I'm wrestling through things and I don't feel that I'm my best right now. In those moments this scripture encourages me greatly because it reminds me that God knows who I am, where I live, what I'm up against and exactly what is going on in my heart. God knows we live in a time/place where satan works on us almost nonstop. Life has its challenges - that's just the way it is - on top of it we have satan tearing at us constantly trying to destroy our relationship with God. Sometimes I get lost in the fact that I am wrestling and I feel bad or guilty about it and I miss the fact that I am wrestling!! I haven't given up or given in!! That's what matters to God... he's not looking for perfect people - just for me to be faithful to him. Sometimes all that means is refusing to quit, getting up one more time no matter how much I'm hurting, no matter what my head/feelings or satan may tell me and trust that God will give me the strength to get through one more time.