October 20, 2001

I saw this commercial for the season premiere of Malcolm in the Middle. Malcolm (I assume it was him), was out boating, and as the narrator said, he found out there was a camp for naughty cheerleaders nearby. So there he is, out boating, and out of nowhere, there appears a girl in the water. You can see her down to shoulder level, wearing not a stitch. She says something like "me and all my friends got tired of waiting for you, so we took off our clothes". Slow pan to the bow of the boat. There, floating in the water, lay several pieces of bikini, tops and bottoms. Malcolm's eyes appear to bug out like in a cartoon. He guns the engine and does a 360, leaving his dad in the water, a very wet man.

I think the writers of Malcolm in the middle are on to something here. That has got to be a secret fantasy of every adolescent boy out there. And they managed to put their finger on it, and create a version of it, perhaps better than the fantasy one. And they put it in the commercial. Right after Simpsons. What adolescent male isn't gonna want to watch? Hell, what male, regardless of age isn't gonna want to watch?

Fantasies are.....pretty damn personal. But everybody has 'em. And.....I think that's about all I've got to say about that right now.

One question. Do bikinis float or sink in water? Because I was watching this OTHER show (this really fucked up artsy show on CBC done by Ken Finkelman), and this woman was swimming, and eventually the bottoms of her bikini slipped off without her noticing, and went to the bottom of the ocean. Just wondering who is using creative license here, Finkelman or the Malcolm in the Middle guys.