What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women"
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-men will screw anything
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
They dont have balls to scratch
What is a mans idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging
How can you tell if a man is Sexually excited?
He's breathing
What's the difference between a man and a goverment bond?
Bonds mature
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We dont know, it's never happened
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones left are handicapped.
What is a mans idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum
What's the difference between a man and ET?
ET phoned home
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer
What's the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is bottom feeding scumsucker, and the other is a fish
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better
What do you have when you have two balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention
What are the two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind 2. No buisness
Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
He knows first hand the penalty for withdrawl
If men got pregnant
Abortion would be available in convience stores and drive through windows
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first name basis with the one who makes all the decisions
Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you
Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends
How are man like linoleum?
Lay 'em right the first time and you can walk on them for 30 years
Copy and this to all your girl friends. I am sure they will get a kick out of it. As for the guys, send it to them too. Let 'em suffer!
