Then Job replied to Bildad:
"Yes I know that what you are saying is true. But how can a man be righteous before God? If God says you are guilty, how can you disagree? Who could win even 1 of 1000 arguments with God?
His wisdom is profound. His power is vast. Who has ever resisted Him and won?
God can move mountains and demolish them! He can shake the entire earth. The earth trembles at His power! At his word, the sun stops shining and the light of the stars is sealed off. He rules over the sky and the sea. He is the maker of the great constellations in the sky. He performs miracles beyond our imagination and more numerous than we can count! He is invisible to the human eye. If He takes something, who can stop Him? Who can question him and demand an answer? When God was angry, even the cohorts of the mighty sea monster cowered at His feet!
How then can I protest my case with Him? How can I find words to argue with Him? Even if I was innocent, I would not be able to answer Him. I would only be able to plead for mercy from Him, the mighty Judge.
Even if I called upon Him and he answered me, I don't think he would give me a chance to state my case before Him. He would probably just crush me and multiply my wounds for no reason. He would not let me catch my breath but instead would overwhelm me with misery.
If "might makes right" then He no doubt is more mighty than me! If, instead, it is a matter of justice and what is really right, who will call God to accountablity? Even if I were inocent, my mouth would condemn me. Even if I were blameless, it would say that I was guilty.
Although I have not sinned so as to earn this suffering I am presently enduring, I don't really care about getting my life back anymore. I would just as soon die. It is all the same in the end. God destroys both the evil and the good. When a terrible disease brings death, the despair of the innocent is desregarded. When wicked men take over a country, He blinds the eyes of their judges so they can not discern the truth. If it is not Him doing this, then who is doing it?
My life is flying past me. My days come and go without even a glimpse of joy. My life is passing me by so quickly. If I were to tell myself, 'I will stop claming to be undeserving of this punishment'. If I started smiling and acting like everything was just fine, I would still dread all my suffering deep down in my heart. And I also know that you would still believe that I am guilty of some large sin to deserve what God has placed upon me. Since you have already decided that I am guilty, why should I try to put a good face on it? Even if I tried to clean myself up and tried to make myself presentable, in your eyes I would still be a slimy eyesore. You would throw me into the mud where you believe I belong.
God is not a man that I could argue with or even take to court. If only there was someone to arbitrate between us! Somebody that could get Him to leave me alone long enough for us to discuss this. If only his punishment was removed from me. Then I could speak up without fear. As it is right now, I am too afraid of what He might do to me to speak my case.
I am so sick of it all. So what if God kills me? I have made up my mind to speak out and state my complaint. I will let my bitterness be spoken. I will aks God to tell me what it is that I have done to deserve this. I will ask Him if He is pleased to see me downtrodden like this while the wicked enjoy the good life.
God doesn't have eye problems like men do, does He? He can see that I don't deserve what has befallen me, can't he? God does not have but a short time to live that he would unjustly crush and innocent enemy, does He? Of course, nobody would be strong enough to stop Him if He did.
"God, Your hands created me. Are you now wanting to destroy me? You molded me like clay. Will you now turn me to dust again? Did you not place me in the womb and make me grow? You gave me skin and ordered my bones and muscles. You gave me life and showed me kindness. You watched over my spirit in kindness."
"But was this your plan all along? Was it your plan to watch me until I messed up and sinned? Then were You planning to fully punish me rather than to forgive me?"
If there is some terrible thing I have done, woe is me! Even if ther isn't, I still am full of sorrow and shame. I am overwhelmed, drowning in a sea of suffering. If I hold my head up, You strike me down and show how much more powerful than me you are. You bring new witnesses against me and increase your anger towards me. Your forces come aginst me like the ocean waves - relentless and strong. What I don't understand it this. If this was the case, then why did You even make me? Why did I have to be born?
I wish I had died before anyone ever laid eyes on me. If only I had never been born, or could have been a miscarriage.
Are not the days of my life almost over? Please stop punishing me so that I can have a moment's joy before I die. Before I go to the place of no return, that mysterious dark and gloomy land of deepest night, where eve the light is like darkness.
Next Chapter - Zophar, the third and final "friend" talks!
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