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Conversation with the Almighty
Shmuel Nesher (Adler), of blessed memory
The Lageraeltester at Kittlitzstreben was a convicted German criminal. You can well imagine how a person serving time for murdering his wife and two little children treated Jews. When he got into one of his sadistic moods, he would grab the first Jew unlucky enough to happen his way and beat him unconscious with his club. He would then pour water on h)m, reviving him, and then again beat him unconscious, again pour water on him, and again beat him. More than once I saw Jews die from the man's beatings. When he caught a Jew praying he would lay into him with his club. "You got nobody to believe in!" he would scream. "You got nobody to depend on! We're the lords and masters here!"
At Kittlitzstreben I worked at chopping down trees in the forest. We walked about an hour to the forest and about an hour back to camp. I used the time to say the prayers 1 knew by heart: the Kriat Shma, Shmoneh Essray. Then I usually carried on a conversation with the Blessed Holy One.
I asked the Blessed Holy One: "Tell me, what did we do to deserve this? What is our sin? How are we worse than any other nation? Is it because we wouldn't go to Eretz Yisrael?" And I told the Blessed Holy One the story about the Rebbe of Koznitz, who said: Because we don't know how to pray right.
The Rebbe related: The Russian Tsar was waging a war against an enemy, and the Crown Prince was participating in that war. A soldier saw an enemy coming with his sword drawn to kill the Crown Prince, and he jumped in front of the horse and chased him away. The enemy's sword missed the mark and the Crown Prince was saved. The Tsar summoned the soldier and said to him: "Listen, soldier, you saved the Crown Prince's life. Ask for whatever you want and I'll give it to you." The soldier said: "I'm in Battalion X. The batta:ion commander is a bad man. Couldn't you, please transfer him to another battalion?" The Tsar said: "You fool! Why don't you ask me to transfer you to another place and make you commander?" It's the same with us Jews. We are always praying to God to move us from one king to another: if there is a country that has a good king, move us to that country .We don't know how to pray right -that is our problem: we don't pray for the Redemption. Is that why we've got all this coming to us?
Do you mean to say, Master of the Universe, that ours is the worst generation ever? Do we really deserve such treatment, Master of the Universe? What is it You want? -Do You want to exterminate the Jewish People? Now I'm talking about myself. I'm not asking You, Master of the Universe, to satiate me with food. Alii ask is that You bring us the Redemption. I'm not asking You to give me easier work. Just give me the strength to bear it!! That's all I ask."That was my daily prayer: "May our eyes behold Your merciful return to Zion;" and: "Return us to You and we will return; renew our days as of old;" and “Guardian of Israel, save the remnant of Israel." Prayer from the heart. Saying those prayers today isn't as meaningful as it was then. Only Jews in such a dire predicament can fully appreciate their significance.