speak softly if you don't know who's listening to your voice
and hearing you scream and watching you writhe in pain when
you think you're alone but you're not alone because someone
is watching and hearing and listening to every thought that
races through your over-cluttered mind and you mind over
matter but it doesn't matter anyway because you don't mind
me when you lose your mind and you are lost and i don't know
how to find me and i'm not so sure you want to be found and
kept, you lost and wept and the rain falls from your eyes and
i fall faster and farther and every time i think i've hit the
bottom i am still falling still falling still waters run deep
in my mind i am lost, so lost and waiting to be found because
i can't find the path that brought me in here so i don't know
how to get back out to what i thought was a real world outside
this crazy forest but the birds ate my breadcrumbs and i can't
even find the witch's cottage becuase it's dark in here and i
can't see anything at all my words are still unspoken, all my
hearts are still unbroken, unbent, untouched, unmoved because
i am not moving: i am still, i am here, i am still here and i
don't know where to go because i'm lost and i'm scared and my
head is hurting and my heart is pounding and all the blood is
rushing to my head which might be why it hurts and i can hear
water falling over rocks, far away from here, falling like a
whisper when i want it to be screaming but i don't know who's
listening so i guess a whisper works just as well



february 1999


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