from the first, my mother heard a voice Divine
which told her i would have to serve my brother
but she never told a soul
so the thief - he stole my birthright - wouldn't feed me
would've let me faint from hunger,
just had to take what was mine
i worked the fields, i lived to hunt
but Who made me that way?
You knew from the start,
why'd You have to hide Yourself from me?
all i wanted was a blessing, and maybe
an explanation would have helped
if she'd only told us, "this is what the Voice said"
i might not have liked it, but at least i would have known
why my own mother stole my blessing for my brother
if she'd told us, maybe my father
could have planned a blessing just for me
instead they cast me out,
the ishmael of my generation
so i lived by the sweat of my brow
like adam, my compatriot
kicked out for being curious
made to cry for a blessing that should've been his all along
our tears water the land we live by
our dew the only blessing on this earth
there but for the grace of You go i
if i'd only let him go first
i could've had my blessing
and held the heel that walked all over me
fall 1998
back to dreaming...
or back to books and poetry