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Death is the crisis of life. How a man handles death indicates a great deal about how he approaches life. As there is a Jewish way of life, there is a Jewish way of death.

As the Jewish way of life implies, it is a distinctive outlook and a unique life-style based on very specific views of G-d and the place of man in society and the universe. So too does the Jewish way of death imply singular attitudes toward G-d and nature, and toward the problem of good and evil; and it proffers a distinctive way of demonstrating specific Jewish qualities of reverence for man and respect for the dead.

For example, the prohibition of both cremation (the unnaturally speedy disposal of the dead) and embalming (the unnatural preservation of the dead), bespeaks a philosophy of man and his relationship to G-d and nature:

Repugnance for the mutilation of a body expresses a reverence for man, because he was created in G-d's image. The ban on necromancy is founded on very precise theological concepts of creature and Creator. The commandment to bury the dead without delay draws a very fine, but clear line between reverence for the dead and worship of the dead.

The profound psychological insights implicit in the highly structured Jewish mourning observances speak eloquently of Judaism's concern for the psychological integrity of the human personality.

PREPARATION OF THE REMAINS

"As he came, so shall he go," says Ecclesiastes. Just as a newborn child is immediately washed and enters this world clean and pure, so he who departs this world must be cleansed and made pure through the religious ritual called taharah, "purification."

The taharah is performed by the Chevra Kadisha (the Holy Society, i.e. the Burial Society), consisting of Jews who are knowledgeable in the area of traditional duties, and can display proper respect for the deceased. In addition to the physical cleansing and preparation of the body for burial, they also recite the required prayers asking G-d for forgiveness for any sins the deceased may have committed, and praying that G-d may guard him and grant him eternal peace.

Jewish tradition recognizes the democracy of death. It therefore demands that all Jews be buried in the same type of garment -- a simple white shroud. Wealthy or poor, all are equal before G-d, and that which determines their reward is not what they wear, but what they are. Almost 2,000 years ago, Rabbi Gamaliel instituted this practice so that the poor would not be shamed and the wealthy would not vie with each other in displaying the costliness of their burial clothes.

The clothes to be worn should be appropriate for one who is shortly to stand in judgment before G-d Almighty, Master of the universe and Creator of man. Therefore, they should be simple, handmade, perfectly clean, and white. These shrouds symbolize purity, simplicity, and dignity.

BURIAL

The Bible, in its mature wisdom, required burial to take place as soon as possible following death. The religious concept underlying this law is that man, made in the image of G-d, should be accorded the deepest respect. It is considered a matter of great shame and discourtesy to leave the deceased unburied -- his soul has returned to G-d, but his body is left to linger in the land of the living.

Jewish law is unequivocal in establishing absolutely, and uncompromisingly, that the dead must be buried in the earth. Man's body returns to the earth as it was. The soul rises to G-d, but the physical shelter, the chemical elements that clothed the soul, sink into the vast reservoir of nature.

"For dust thou art, and unto dust shaft thou return" (Genesis 3:19) is the guiding principle in regard to the selection of caskets The coffin must be made completely of wood. The Bible tells us that Adam and Eve hid among the trees in the Garden of Eden when they heard the Divine judgment for committing the first sin.

Said Rabbi Levi: "This was a sign for their descendants that, when they die and are prepared to receive their reward, they should be placed in coffins made of wood."

NON-JEWISH CUSTOMS

Cremation is never permitted. The deceased must be interred, bodily, in the earth. It is forbidden -- in every and any circumstance -- to reduce the dead to ash in a crematorium. It is an offensive act, for it does violence to the spirit and letter of Jewish law, which never, in the long past, sanctioned the ancient pagan practice of burning on the pyre.

The Jewish abhorrence of cremation has already been noted by Tacitus, the Roman historian of the 1st century CE, who remarked upon what appeared to be a distinguishing characteristic that Jews buried, rather than burned, their dead.

In ancient days, the Talmud informs us, fragrant flowers and spices were used at the funeral to offset the odor of the decaying body. Today, this is no longer essential and they should not be used at Jewish funerals at all. It is much better to honor the deceased by making a contribution to a synagogue or hospital, or to a medical research association for the disease which afflicted the deceased. This method of tribute is more lasting and meaningful.

In our days, flowers are used primarily at Christian funerals, and are considered to be a non-Jewish ritual custom which should be discouraged.

Another custom which is definitely alien to Jewish custom, and its spirit does violence to Jewish sensitivity and tradition is the "wake." Note. Visiting the funeral parlor on the night before interment to comfort the mourners and to view the remains is clearly a Christian religious practice, and not merely an American folkway. In Judaism, the place for offering condolences is at home, during the seven special days of mourning called shivah.

THE FUNERAL SERVICE

The most striking Jewish expression of grief is the rending of outer garments by the mourner prior to the funeral service.

Who must rend the clothing?

Seven relatives are obligated to perform this command: son, daughter, father, mother, brother, sister, and spouse. They must be adults, above the age of thirteen. Minors, who are in fact capable of understanding the situation, and appreciating the loss, should have other relatives or friends make the tear for them. Divorced mates may cut their clothing, but they are not obligated to do so.

The funeral service is a brief and simple service designed primarily for the honor and dignity of the deceased. The service consists of: reading a selection from the Psalms appropriate to the life of the deceased, a eulogy of his fine qualities which his survivors should seek to implant in their own lives, and a memorial prayer asking that G-d shelter his soul.

See also Jewish Way of Mourning.

Above was written by Rabbi Maurice Lamm, the author of "The Jewish Way of Death and Mourning," "The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage", "Becoming A Jew" and many other books. A professor at Yeshiva University's Rabbinical Seminary, he lectures nationally to Jewish and Christian audiences.

Displaying the remains of the deceased (to see how handsome or beautiful he/she looks) is an insult to that person who can no longer show expression or any signs of life. This is the ultimate insult to what used to be the home of a human soul. I would consider it the greatest service (mitzvah) to the people if the Church were to voice discouragement in all the trappings of such funerals, and say it like it is: an obvious money-making empire built by the funeral establishments for primarily their own enhancement, playing on the emotions of the relatives left to foot the bill. And if this were to cause this establishment to withhold contributions (kickbacks?) to the Church, so be it. The money used that is paying for these expensive funerals would be better used by the good people to pay for basic needs like food, clothing, shelter, and education. And there is nothing wrong saving rather than going into (or keeping) outstanding debts.

Leaving you with this gem: The minister at a funeral service is winding up his eulogy, "Friends, let us say goodbye to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here lies only the shell--the nut has gone."