by P.A.Bines.
Based on characters created by E.F.Benson.
This story (c) 1999 P.A.Bines
Written at the suggestion of certain members of the Benson List,
the suggestion being to incorporate Science Fiction elements into the world of Mapp & Lucia.
- - -
It was a clear, crisp evening, and Major Benjamin Flint was walking, if that is the correct word, home from a highly enjoyable dinner at Grebe, the home of Mrs Emmeline Lucas. Mrs Lucas, (Lucia to her friends and close acquaintances), had an excellent cellar, and the Major always accepted dinner invitations extended by the mistress of Grebe, even though the house was such an awkward place to get to. The Major had, perhaps, over-indulged when it came to the excellent hock wine that had been served, and he was now regretting his refusal of the offer of a lift home in Lucia's Royce. Indeed, the journey home was somewhat longer than usual, given that the Major's walking style involved the width of the road as well as it's length..
He found his way, eventually, to the Belvedere platform, at the end of the High Street, and the Major chose to stop for a short while, (even though he was so close to his home), for the effort of his walk had caused his vision to blur slightly, (there could surely be no other, more liquid, reason), and he rested for a while on the seat provided by some generous benefactor. As his vision cleared, he noticed a strange silvery object floating above the marshes directly ahead of him. He stood up and stared more intently at the unusual flying object, but could not clearly identify it. Then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, it disappeared, leaving the Major with something of a mystery. Had he seen something, or had his tired eyes been playing tricks on him?
He continued on his way to his house, to sleep on the matter.
---
The next morning, the Major rose early (unusually for him, and confusingly for his cook, who had not expected him to rise before noon). After a brief breakfast of hastily prepared porridge, (for it was a Saturday) , he headed back towards the Belvedere, to see if there was any evidence of his vision the previous night. He found Georgie Pilson there, sketching a view of the marshes.
"Morning Pilson!" he called, as he approached. "Sketching, eh?". This startled Georgie, who had not expected anyone to disturb him at such an early hour, and certainly not the Major.
"Good Morning Major", he replied. "And how are you this fine day? Yes, I'm trying out a new technique that Quaint Irene suggested at dinner last night. She suggested Charcoal, but it is such a tarsome substance; I have soot all over my fingers, and I cannot avoid getting fingerprints on the paper."
"Ah, Dinner", the Major barked, ignoring the discussion of artistic technique. "Yes. Magnificent, as usual! Tell me, " he continued, bending closer the the sitting artist and lowering his voice to a dull roar, " Did you see anything unusual last night? On your way home, I mean? In the sky?"
Georgie pondered briefly. "No, I don't recall doing so, but," he added, "I was talking to Diva in the car so..." Georgie paused. What was the Major hinting at? "Did you see something last night Major?"
"Not sure, difficult to tell. Could have been a trick of the light. Thought I saw a silvery item flying in the sky as I passed here. Very odd. Just appeared there," he pointed to the spot over the marshes, "then, as I noticed it, it disappeared again. What do you think it could have been?"
Georgie thought hard. It was most likely to have been the hock that had brought on the image, but he could not suggest it. "A weather balloon, perhaps? Such things are visible at night sometimes."
"Ah, yes. Quite. Might have been that, I suppose. Odd, disappearing like that, though. Still. Thought I'd have a look round, see if I can find something. Good morning, Pilson." The Major strode towards the steps leading down to the marshes and was soon to be seen examining the area and covering his clothes in thick mud, his galoshes, needing repair, being unusable at present..
---
The news that the Major had seen something untoward progressed along the High Street, and a variety of explanations were soon to be heard. The Padre thought it might have been a strange cloud formation, which had dispersed over the humid marsh, although this was disputed by Wee Wifie who commented on how clear a night it had been. Lucia had no opinion on the subject (though privately she had her suspicions, which coincided with those that Georgie had supressed in his conversation with the Major), and Diva, in conversation with Miss Mapp, suggested that it was probably a reflection of the moon, (it had been full last night), commenting that it was hardly surprising that the Major considered this unusual, after all that he had drunk at Grebe. Mapp also refrained from comment, although, (and it would have pained her to realise that she and Lucia agreed on something), she too had her suspicions. It was Quaint Irene who came up with the most extraordinary suggestion; she had been reading the works of Mr. Wells and M. Verne, and was much taken with the idea of alien life on the moon. She loudly proclaimed her opinion outside Twistevant's.
"It's obviously Moon Men, come to see if we are a threat".
"Oh come now, sweet one, " Mapp cried, "why would creatures from another world choose to come to Tilling?"
"Simple, Mapp! Where else are such creatures going to see the best the planet has to offer other than Tilling?"
Lucia's silvery laugh glittered it's way into the conversation. " Irene dear, I agree that if such beings wanted to see the best of the earth they would come to Tilling, but surely, you don't believe in such beings?"
Quaint Irene became even more animated "Yes, I do! There MUST be something out there, beyond our planet, and why shouldn't they come to look at us to see what we do and how?" She looked around the small gathering that was now blocking the entrance to the shop. "I'm going to stay up tonight to watch for further visitations, and I dare you all to come with me!"
Mapp snorted. "The only lights I intend to see tonight are those in the ceilings of Mallards; nothing would induce me to sit in the marshes in the cold night air to watch for something that does not exist and which will nor appear! The Major saw a trick of the light, that's all. Where is he, anyway?"
Georgie joined in. "When Last I saw him, he was still walking around the marsh looking for evidence."
"I shall go and join him, and invite him to join me tonight. Lucia, Please join me too; it will be fun, and instructive too!"
It was Lucia's turn to ponder. There was likely nothing in this, but Mapp had turned herself against the idea, and if there was a remote chance of something being out there, it might be a good thing to be 'in' from the start. "I like to keep an open mind, as you know" Mapp snorted again., " and so I think I will join you tonight, as long as the weather is not inclement."
"Well, " Mapp replied, "I have no intention of joining you all; I shall be staying in my cosy house with a good book." With this. she walked off.
"Poor Elizabeth", Lucia drawled, "Such a closed mind!"
---
That evening, a passer-by would have been surprised to see, sitting on the Belvedere, a strange collection of people, all gazing up at the night sky. Quaint Irene was there, of course, with a sketchpad ("Just in case"), and the Major, who had taken the precaution of arming himself with an ex-service revolver. Lucia was sitting on a rug, placed on the bench, and she was offering light refreshments from a small hamper. Georgie was also there, with a pair of binoculars that Foljambe had unearthed in the attic of Mallards Cottage. The Padre was not there; it was 'ungodly' to believe in such things as 'aliens from the moon', and so he chose not to join the party; however, he did choose to keep a protective eye on his flock (and he had no other reason), from the church tower, which provided an excellent view of the town and, coincidentally, of the marshes. Diva also has not joined the party, though this was not deliberate; she had settled down with a tray and had nodded off. As promised, Miss Mapp remained at home, though her choice of a good book remained on teh bookshel, as she wondered if it had been a mistake to completely rule out an interest in alien beings. She did briefly consider joining the group, but decided against it; it would have been embarrassing to admit that she too was curious...
An hour passed, and another. Time went slowly by, and eventually, the hour arrived at which the Major had seen the silvery object the night before.
"There!" exclaimed Quaint Irene, "What's that?"
Lucia was startled by the exclamation; she had not, of course, been sleeping, but she had been resting her eyes. "Where, Irene?"
"Drat, it's only a seagull." came Irene's dejected reply. The group returned to it's state of relaxed observation.
Another hour passed, and it was just as Georgie was going to suggest they give the thing up as a figment of the Major's imagination, (risky though that might have been, given that the Major had been taking regular nips from a hip flask, and that he was, of course, armed), Lucia pointed high in the air and cried, in a shrill voice "There!"
The assembled members of Tilling society gazed in the direction in which Lucia pointed and, sure enough, there was a sparkle of light hovering above the marshland. The sparkle vanished, and a silvery object appeared, moving faster than any seabird, and heading towards the Belvedere.
Quaint Irene began sketching, Georgie followed the object on his binoculars and the Major raised his revolver in the air and aimed.
"Major, No!" Lucia exclaimed" You don't know what that might do!"
Too late, for the Major had pulled the trigger on his revolver, and a bullet was, even now, heading towards the silvery thing, now hovering some 30 feet above their heads. Just as the bullet hit the objects, there was another sparkle of light (in fact, it seemed to be two separate sparkles), a loud pop, and the group found fragments of some foil-like material falling on their heads.
Georgie picked a fragment up. "It appears to be a weather balloon" he said, and passed it around. The group, somewhat dispirited, and realising exactly how condescendingly smug Miss Mapp would be the following morning, (or, indeed that moning, for it was already past the midnight hour), dispersed to their various homes, though Irene could be heard enquiring of the Major, "But if it was a balloon, how did it travel so fast? And why were there two sparkling explosions when you only fired one shot?"
---
Far above the town, on an unusually shaped flying vessel, a strangely attired man, with a greenish tint to his skin, and ears that tapered to a point, spoke to a brown haired man in a green shirt who was sitting in a throne-like chair. "Captain", he said, "I believe we now have enough information about this time period to allow Mr Benson to finish his research project."
"Did we manage to successfully retrieve the probe", the captain enquired.
"Yes, Captain, we did, although there was some slight local difficulty; I had to transport an inflatable balloon to prevent detection by some natives. I think we have, as you humans put it, 'Gotten away with it'."
"Excellent. In that case, I see no reason to stay. Helm, Warp Factor One."
