AGAINST SOCIETY
Has anyone ever noticed how much society wants
you to join and go with the flow and not question why or how. They
say fuck who you really are and don’t be what you want to be . They
try so hard to drag you down and do so much to stop you from doing
what you want. This is my story of society. My name is Daniel
Guest, known to my friends as D. I grew up in this town called
Highridge and have lived here all my life. It was just me and my
mom in the same cockroach infested apartment. We barely made it
when I was little. There was hardly any food and no money for
clothes. My mom did the best she could and I respect her for that.
She worked in a laundry for chump change and nineteen years later
she is still there. She calls it an honest living. I call it pathetic. In this
capitalistic hellhole you have to take what you want. Thats exactly
what I did. I started at an early age of nine, by the time I was eleven I
was a pro at scams and lifting wallets off dumb people. I fucking
hated not having, so I took what I wanted and did not give two shits
about the consequences. My mom always hassled me about school
and to get good grades. I hated school with a passion and they did
not teach you shit. Their bullshit lies and philosophy killed me,
because they were so full of shit. In this country education is a crock
and then they wonder why so many kids turn to the streets. There are
more pukes in the prisons then there are graduating high school. Me
and my friends followed the example of the street school.
I would go to sleep in my classes on a daily basis. It
was mostly because I was always high. I liked the taste of a nice fat
blunt before class with my friends Hodge and Bunk. We were always
getting into fights and disrupting class. The principal hated seeing our
faces day in and day out. He would always give us some bullshit
speech about life and that if we didn’t shape up we were going to
spend our life in jail. We would just tell him to fuck off and let it
blow over. High school for me was a big party and getting fucked up
was routine. Hodge and Bunk were always getting laid. They were
the pretty boys that always got the really hot girls that I would like to
have fucked. I was what you might call handsome and girls had no
problem talking to me or telling me all the bullshit in their lives. I
never really found a girl that would accept me for D. My first time
was with this girl who was drunk and felt sorry for me. I usually
would not have fucked her, but I was horny. She liked it though and
kept coming back for more. I obliged her a couple of times before I
sent her packing. The three of us partied and scammed, that was our
life and it was good. We were tight and never let the other one go
into anything alone. Not many people fucked with us and our
reputation grew.
We got into some trouble when we were seventeen
and in our third freshman year. Hodge got hold of some acid and we
took our first trip. We took the hits before school and by second
period gym we were trippin balls. Everything was kinda hazy and
funny looking. It was almost like we were in a movie. Our gym
teacher Mr. Smith was yelling at us about some stupid shit. We just
started laughing at him and he got pissed. He grabbed a hold of Bunk
and I just snapped. Before I knew it I blasted him in the face and he
flew back a few feet. Before he could recover all three of us were on
him. We beat the fuck out of him placing him in the intensive care
unit. We were arrested and charged with aggravated assault with
intent to kill. We had records and they were thinking about trying us
as adults. Our lawyer was good and told the judge it was the drugs.
He gave us six months at the Jameson Reformatory and told us we
had to go to some bullshit drug counseling when we got out.
While we were at the Jameson Reformatory some
fuck tried to fuck me in my ass. No man will ever put his dick in my
ass. So I beat the fuck out of him pretty bad. The ignorant puke will
think twice before he fucks with someone. I hurt him pretty bad and
they added two months to my sentence which was spent in solitary.
When I got out Hodge and Bunk had dropped out of school and
started pushing drugs for a dealer named Ricardo. I joined up with
the ranks two days after my release. Drugs were good money and I
liked getting things I wanted. We were good at it and pulled in about
three hundred dollars a day. Ricardo was impressed and we began to
do shakedowns for him to. We were earning a reputation on the
street. We did not give a fuck and was not afraid of anyone. No one
even though of fucking with the three of us. We always made our
money and took care of business. We never got high off our own shit
to avoid becoming an addict like the crackheads we sold it to. We
smoked pot, tripped on acid, and drank our lives away.
It was three days past my eighteenth birthday when
my mom blew up on me. I was home getting some clothes when she
came out of no where calling me a worthless bastard and saying I
was never going to amount to shit. She said I was going to end up in
a gutter with my throat slit and that I need to shape up and become a
normal member of society. I told her shut up and mind her own
fucking business. Get off my back I told her. I told her that I was
living my life the way I wanted and that she should be happy that I’m
happy. That is the day I got kicked out of my house, she began
punching me and throwing shit at my head. So I packed my clothes,
threw her some money and left. I moved in with Hodge and his old
lady Monika. I was there all the time anyway. Later that night was
when I first took another person’s life. Bunk and I was over in this
abandoned warehouse on the Eastside making a sell to some
crackhead. He started spazzing and told us that we shorted him. I
told him “What the fuck ever”! and began to walk away. He had the
fucking nerve to shove me in the back and then pull his knife. I
turned to face him and he slashed my arm. That was it, I went
fucking off. He came at me again, but this time I sidestepped and
brought my fist in a downward arch across his jaw. He hit the
ground and I kicked his knife away. I then began kicking the fuck out
of him. I grabbed his head and twisted with all my strength. I heard a
snap and he laid there motionless. Bunk just stared at me and then we
got the fuck up out of there. I really didn’t know he was dead until I
heard on the news that they were looking for info on an unknown
victim found in an abandoned ware house. I felt no remorse, he tried
to take my life first. The mother fucker got what he deserved.
All of the sudden a new craze hit Highridge, Raves.
They erupted all over with hot music, hot girls, and even hotter
drugs. I remember my first one, the music was pumping and
everyone was moving. Somebody passed me this wafer and told me
that it would blow my mind. Sure as fuck after ten minutes I was
tripping bad. The music and lights enveloped me and took over my
whole being. People were half naked enjoying each other, it was
phenomenal. The shit was wild and it soon became a big part of my
life. Soon I started thinking of life in general and how bad it all
sucked. People everywhere stereotyping you and telling you what to
do and where to go. I fucking hate it . People need to shut the fuck
up and live their own lives. They need to stop caring about what
could be and start caring about what should be. Our world is dictated
by money and power an it is sick. Hell, thats the main reason I got
into crime early in my life. Now I do it because it is all I know and in
a sick way I enjoy it. I am beginning to yearn for apocalypse. I hate
people and all they stand for. I can’t wait to see mankind destroy
itself, because it is only a matter of time. Bunk and Hodge hate it
when I get philosophical, because it makes them think about life and
the harsh reality that it is.
Getting high on our own shit soon become a habit for
Hodge and Bunk. Bunk was on his way to heroin and Hodge was
snorting white powder like it was nothing. they do what they want to
do and who am I to judge them. We are still making the money and
are very feared on the streets. One day Ricardo sends his boy Bruno
down to collect his share and this puke decides he is gonna try to
shake us down. I’m gonna have to smack this fool down, because D
just don’t fuck around. He started shovin on Hodge, who is small
and does not start fights. So I felt obligated to step in. “Bruno why
don’t you step to someone who is not afraid of your bitch ass?” “D
what the fuck are you gonna do bitch”. “Only what I should of done
when you first walked in”. I leveled my knee into his balls(I think
anything is fair) and he doubled over. I the delivered an uppercut to
his face. Bunk jumped in and we beat him the fuck down. Bunk and I
enjoyed jumping some fool who tried to step to us. We would take
turns punching and kicking them. When we were done with Bruno
we dropped him off at Ricardo’s. Bruno should of known better than
to fuck with us. We are crazy and just don’t give a fuck what
happens.
It was a night in December when I fell in love. I was
down at the club observing the honeys when I saw her. I thought I
was dreaming. She was the bomb from head to toe, the way she
moved and carried herself was mesmerizing. She was one moment of
pleasure and I had to get with her. Short, lengthy dark hair, slender in
build, and somewhat tall. An essence of heaven in mortal form is my
best description. She caught me staring and smiled slyly back. Her
boyfriend didn’t like it. He’s the typical male puke, I make good first
glance analysis. Their all the same. They have this I’m the God of
fuck attitude, short dick only interested in personal property, so they
can get off, rich ass pretty boy slick car having just so they can sleep
better at night knowing that they’re a fucking puke living in a pimp
fantasy world. I really hate fucks like that, mostly because them
pukes are the ones getting the girls. He pushed her quickly to the
exit, but I knew I would see her again. The next day I stopped in at
this salon to get my mop chopped and guess who cut my hair. Yep it
was my dream girl in full effect. Her name is Christen and she starts
telling me how she saw me checking her out. I asked her if that was a
conceited comment. She smiled and rubbed my neck(this girl thinks
she’s pimpin). One thing about girls, they like to have their cake and
eat it to. Next she starts laying out all her problems and how shitty
her boyfriend is. I guess they have a kid together. Why do I meet
these girls that are so great, but don’t want to get with me. Here I go
warming up the bullpen again. She asked to see me again and I’m not
going to deny her. She started coming to my crib to talk and get held.
I loved just holding her and being close to her. I always hated to see
her go. I knew she was going to him and I am here alone. It always
makes me wonder just how great of a guy I am. I want to be with her
so bad, but I can’t. I fucking hate life and it’s harsh reality.
Four weeks later I’m at this rave on the Southside and
Christen comes up and starts hanging all over me(she’s been popping
wafers). “Damn Christen what the fuck are you doing”. “What you
don’t want me anymore”. “It is not that, is Scott here”. “Yes, but I
don’t care I want you”. “Baby you are trippin, just go find your boy.”
No sooner than I said that, here comes Scott and the puke actually
begins to step to me. Huh I am really gonna enjoy this. I started
mashing him in his face and he hit the ground and I continued
mashing him until there was no movement in his body. OOH I love
release. I took Christen back to my place and showed her what
pleasure was all about. It was great and I knew it would be. It just
felt so right. I tickled and teased every inch of her body with smooth
fingers and a even smoother tongue. I did not want morning to come,
but it did and we fell asleep exhausted. I awoke and she was gone
and a note was left thanking me for a great night.
This day begins the downward spiral in our world. I
get a call about 6:00pm from Hodge telling me that Bunk overdosed
last night and was in a coma in the hospital. I got there and Hodge,
Monika, and Bunk’s mom were there. The doctors told us that the
hope for life was dim, because Bunk is clinically brain dead. Bunk’s
mom gives the word to pull the plug, he would of not wanted to lie
there like a vegetable anyway. Two days later we bury him. I have
never lost somebody and it hurts and I can not express it in words.
Things begin to get worse, Hodge turns to more coke and I am
heading into becoming a full blown alcoholic. I have not heard from
Christen in a few weeks, what’s next. I find out that Ricardo has put
a mark out on Hodge. I t seems Hodge’s drug debt has ran over the
limit. I expected this shit would fucking happen. I have to get to
Hodge’s place before Bruno gets there. I head over to the apartment
and when I get there the door is open a little. I sneak in slowly to find
good old Bruno raping Hodge’s old lady. I fucking hate rapists and
their domination complex. I pull my gun and say: “ Bruno I have
waited a long time to do this.” “ D is that you or just some pussy
actin hard.” “ It’s me all right and now it is time to meet the devil.”
“That’s all right good old Hodge is slit from neck to stomach and his
girl tastes real sweet.” “Fuck you. You piece of shit.” I took my gun
and smacked him across the face and he fell to one knee. I took the
gun and shot one round in his knee, than one to his balls, the third I
left in his hand. He begged for his life. So pathetic to see such a
hardass cry about death. To me there are far more worse things than
death, like being alone. Bullet to the head now Bruno is dead. I help
Monika clean her self up and take her to the hospital and give the
cops an anonymous tip. The next trip I made was to see Ricardo.
You should of seen his face when I stuck my gun in his mouth. He to
begged for his life and even wet his pants. He should of known better
than to fuck with us. Once there was three now there is one. I have
no remorse for what I have done. I did what I did to survive the only
way I knew how. My only regret is that Hodge and Bunk are gone. I
can’t even go to Bunk’s funeral, because of the heat on me right
now. Life is a bitch and we have to deal with her everyday. Talked to
Christen today and tried to get her to leave Scott and let me take
care of her. She said she loved me, but there was nothing she could
do about it. Well shit on me. I blew up and told her to get the fuck
out of my life and don’t let me see her stupid ass again. All I have
now is my bottle of Jack. I hate life. Why was I put here? Why could
I not fit in with society? Why should I care and why does other
people have love and I can’t? I slowly walk to the top of this
building, thirty stories up and I am drunk by the time I reach the top.
Look at me I’m a worthless fuck who couldn’t even graduate high
school. The walls are closing in and I can not grip reality. I have
nothing and am nothing. Nobody to love that will love me. My mom
was right, look at me and what I have become. I used to be happy
once and I used to laugh. Why is the world like it is and why do the
birds sing, but not for me? I look over the edge of the building and
stare down at the ground so far away. Fuck it what is there to go on
for. Allot of freedom, but nothing to do. “LOOK MA I’M ON TOP
OF THE WORLD.” I jump and watch as death folds in upon me. I
welcome it with open arms and I feel its warm welcoming
embrace............
FROM THE AUTHOR:
Do not cage us or we will rebel against you ten
fold. Do not try to make us conform to your ways. For you can’t
even live within your own boundaries. Do not try to understand us.
We will only complicate your feeble mind. Our existence is worthless
and our lives an experiment for your greed and petty wars. You
made us the way we are. Than you ask us why we are like this. Wake
the fuck up and take some responsibility. Our generation is now and
what do we have to look forward to. We make up petty excuses and
run from reality. We turn to drugs to dull the reality of your world.
There are many men like D walking the streets daily and they are a
product of our hateful capitalistic society. So wake the fuck up you
ignorant pukes!!!!
JOHN “HUMDOG” HOMMEL
PEACE OUT.......HOPE TO SEE YA ON A NEW
TRAIN OF THOUGHT.
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