Poems
POEMS
SHATTERED
I thought my life could be without love.
But that was a foolish statement of a broken heart.
My life has been shattered ever since that day we parted.
I see you walking in my dreams, I see you drift through reality.
Never looking, never seeing, never knowing, and probably never missing.
I miss and long to repeat those days, but with him you chose to stay.
Fuck this day and all that it has brought with these hurting thoughts.
I heard your voice, but hung up fast to escape the past.
As the phone clicked so did my tears and it was of joy and pain.
To hear your voice brought the joy, but the memories brought the pain.
I fuckin wish I could stay sane.
I try and try to push you away but your eyes staring into my soul make it stay.
Why do I beat myself down when all that I was to you was a rebounding clown.
Do you ever think of me and what we had or even care what is in my life.
I thought I knew you, but that woman I fell in love with is dead.
You shattered my world which you built and I’m the fool who trusted you.
In your place I see the face of a woman who is now her Mother.
I pray and pray that I find a way to pick up the pieces.
Only a fool was me to ever of stayed and played your little game.
The sad part is all my choices are just the same.
RAMBLINGS II
Living life on a whim never seeing the options that made
life grand or learning to love without resent and without regret.
Seeing love for what it truly is instead of treating it like some
little trend. What gives you the right to treat love like a game.
To love or not to love is not the question, because when you question love,
it is not truly love but a collective conscious of misconstrued facts.
To face a world empty handed when you can be showing the full house.
Always folding on what life has delt with you instead of laying
down your chips and taking a chance, only drawing one card when
it should of been two. Waking up in the morning next to a person
you should of never laid down beside, loving for the sake of comfort and not relying
on that feeling, that warm fuzzy feeling you feel in your stomach. Searching your peers
instead of your heart losing site of yourself and never looking back.
Becoming a need for others lives and greed. Not seeing the ones
you left behind, making others bleed for your own petty mistakes, abusing
their kindness and their unconditional love, consumed by materials and not by
desires. Blinded by facts instead of realizing the fiction. Leaving out
facts to make one seem good, when evil reigns in everyone’s soul.
No man is better than the other, only minds are weaker than the other
Never stepping forward, only stepping backwards.
Good bye
My first love I thought was a dove.
It came fast and passionate and left quick and painful
I have forgave, but never forgotten.
I refuse to play and hear the games, you seem insane.
Some people change and others do not
.
Girl needs to look for herself its in there hiding somewhere.
You will not be forgotten and in me lies a love for you.
But never again will I fall for you
New life floats through these vains and my world is not the same.
Strong and proud and full of life.
The dog must howl, the dog must prowl
.
It was fun while it lasted, but too bad it had to end
So good-bye and farewell and maybe we will meet another day.
APART AND ISOLATED
The walls are closing in and I can’t escape.
My emotions are a bleak resemblance of a winters
day.
Everything is dead and you pray spring can revive it.
For me that spring has not yet come nor is there hope
of it coming.
Do you know what its like to look at A world around
you and not belong.
Do you know what its like to hear love, but not feel
loved.
In time I hope my heart can mend, right now there is
no love to send.
There must be, there has to be a cure for isolation.
NICE GUYS
Always on the outside looking in, because the nice
guy never wins.
No one cares where he’s been, no one cares if he dies.
They sit and watch as others fly all the while listening
To cries of he’s an asshole, I hate him, he can’t satisfy
me. I wish I could find a nice guy, but why try
For when they find their knight they flight and make
Their knight only want to see the night. Embrace
The asshole and forget the knight.
To use and abuse is all our worth. To survive only
For need and to die alone without our queen.
I guess it’s just a nice guy thing.
BURDENED
The soul feels burdened down, the walls are closing
in.
There are hands dragging me down, I need to be let
go of.
Please someone emancipate my soul.
REVENGE
Dream a dream of death and sweet revenge.
To consume thy flesh from your carcass.
I wept tears of agonizing dilemma. Be one to
drink the blood of the immortals. To live for a need
only to deceive. My black sullen heart to part from
this hell. I dwell near to your warm embrace.
Dancing to and fro, a slow like waltz of pain and
sorrow, deceitful lies with deceitful eyes. Lost in
beauty deceived by looks only talked in books.
A LITTLE 5-LETTER WORD
From the time I saw her smile I knew she was
the one, to be near her and feel her mind and soul
To feel her gentle touch and to feel her warm embrace
I have to share her love and I cannot allow the space
I want her to see my face when I wake. I‘ll wait
to see my fate.
LIBIDO
Breakin down the walls with A fist of pestilence
Desolate soul searching the horizon, rising high
to the stars until you dark and true brings me back
down to the shadows of pain and bliss. Wiping blood
and sweat on the sheets of desire. Entering your
barrier with A burning fire. I’ll take you higher
to the plane of inner stimulation. Stimulation of your
mind not your body. Let it flow with me, being me
seeing me, feeling me. Technicolor dreams of sensual
passion not to be given but made when we lay as one.
TRUE WEAKNESS
No one knows where a heart can lead. I only
know how it bleeds. My soul is black against the
light, I only want to see the night. LOVE is a
sword that plunges through my heart and rips my
soul apart. So love and joy begone and leave me
alone in the dark.
THE RIPPER
The night was dark and dreary, not a soul was
even leering. Into the night I drifted to see what life
could be lifted. I came across this buxom harlot oh
what A starlet. I slit her throat and dropped her in the
moat. I did this once or twice a year and never A
soul did hear. They all wish they knew my name
but they know it would not be the same. Without
me they would never learn, nor would they ever
yearn. Welcome all ye strippers for I am the ripper.
FEARS
Late at night all alone. Outside knocking, knocking
at my little world. Who is it my small mind wonders.
The silhouette of a dragon against the curtain.
Daylight, come chase this demon away.
Lightning breath from the sky above. The
thunderous growls of nature’s rumbling. Then
it passes as sleep overcomes A child not past three.
TIME
Inter the mind of time. Does time wait or stop for
anyone. Does it go idle by and wait for you to catch
up. You will know when time is last because for
you, your time is past.
UNANSWERED
All washed up not A care in the world. All closed
up, in your own little world. Who cares? They’re not
my kids out on the streets , you only tells me lies.
Why should I care if the worlds decaying. What
does it take to open your eyes. Another cry from an
infant being sucked from the womb. The murder of
more kids on the streets. Rape of nature and the
Human race, but what is it to you. You do your
own thing.
THE END
You hear the trumpet call, the ca clunk of shoes on
rock paved paths. Glistening armor and swords.
The names of Arthur, Sir Lancelot, and Gaiwin.
The beautiful explosion of colors and fires bursts
from the fingertips. Deceit, courage, and war what
more could you ask for. The death of Arthur, the
entrapment of Merlin and excalibur in a watery
grave. Not everything ends happily ever after.
GREED
I exist in all people. I eat at society’s heart. I
have been the downfall of many civilizations
My presence today is stronger than ever.
UNTITLED
World of hate up too late. Can’t live with them can’t
live without them. Same old routine with many
dreams. Waiting for a change and not much restraints
A lot of freedom, but nothing to do. What is there to
look forward to Pain, suffering, unemployment, death
and for some people a waste of time. It will make
you wonder if it was all worth it.
RESIST
Have these deceits rang past your ear. The truth is
what you never hear. Our leaders tell us lies
they do not care if we die. Their pension plans are set
who cares if it means death. Our lives are so
mundane. Are you tired of being plain. Now
you must assist and let us all resist.
HELL
Eruption of anger, disciple of rage, envious demon
Alone in the dread. Consumed by desire, destruction
by fire. The one that breeds liars. Endless torment
and pain just because you were vain.
THOU SHALT NOT
Green with envy I’ll take his life all because I wanted
his wife. One night with her would be so grand ,
because she is the fairest in the land. Love thy
neighbor, but not the neighbor’s wife. I feel
the stones coming for what is in my mind. To
honor and cherish why him and not me. It’s
all a part of today’s society. With love comes war
all for whores. How she teases me so, her pouty lips
and seductive eyes. I keep trying to tell myself these
are all just lies. Late one night she sneaks away and
with me she comes and lays. The passion clouds my
mind and grips my beating heart . My mind is all made
up, so I went and cut him up. The next day I
walked out my door and there stood that whore.
She was pointing at me and screaming. My heart
dropped when I sat and listened to her lies and
now its me who is going to die. The cold steel clicks
around my wrists. My heart still crushed I could not
say it was all her fault that he lie dead. I was locked
in a cell staring at hell. No way out so I took
my life and hung myself. Now I am writing from hell
to warn men well, do not love thy neighbors wife.
INNER DEMONS
At the time of noon I was awaken to see my blood
covering my sheets. In my chamber I laid not feeling a
thing, but here are these gashes across my chest,
and it was here where I was the best. I have never
been beaten in my chamber. It is here that I conquered
all my fears and controlled all my dreams. Now it
seems that this is not my place to dwell. This has
turned to a place of hell. My inner dreams do awake.
My life they try to take, but I will not break. As the
mirror stands shining in the corner. My reflection I see
in
horror. It is not the same as it was last night and this
brings me close to fright. That night I stayed awake
waiting for this imp. I will take his life win he plays this
game with me. I waited and waited and none did come.
I drifted into a sleep and it was all but sweet. As soon
as I fell asleep it came and attacked my face and bruised
my chest. It was then I decided to record what was
beating me and to see why I could not win. I set it up
and went and slept. The next morning I awoke gasping
and on my neck it bore bruises in the shape of hands
that tried to wrench my life away. It was then that I
reviewed my tape and saw the demon that hated and
tormented me so. It was none other than myself.
SMALL THINGS
Taking small steps so not to fall head forward into a
turmoil of doubt and rage. Taking small breaths so not to gasp on
life’s cold breath. Laughing and enjoying small things so I can enjoy
the great things with a greater respect. Dancing to a different beat to
keep things from always being the same. To take in the whole
universe and respect everything, so not to take anything for granted.
For life is full of so many hateful and spiteful things and there are so
few things to enjoy, when you find a good thing, never lose sight of it
for it could be the only thing that matters.
FORGOTTEN
I let you in my life because I loved you and what did I
get for myself. You were one of my best friends and I thought I
could trust you. We were always together and no day usually passed
in the three years I knew you that we did not see each other.
Working at that pissant restaurant, having a choice to leave but
neither of us could bear to leave the other. I know you stayed that
one time because you knew you would miss me. Then came that day
when are friendship elevated to passion in a fairy tale fashion. I
thought I found my life and my love. You filled my head with lies and
I let myself be fooled and never again will a women deceive me. It
was really hard for me to see why you could do this to me. The one
you ran back to is a puke you said you hated and I know what he has
done and I rate second to him, fuck that. You pushed me out of
your life and did not even look back. I was your friend and your
lover. Never once did I treat you bad. I gave you my world and gave
you my soul. Now I realize I was a fool. Ungrateful is all I see, I
showed you a better way, but you rather have a little boy, fuck that.
You forgot me and took me for granted. I love you, but for me you
are best forgotten.
RATTLING
Desire never ending searching for a reason to live.
Living for a need or desire to be. Being everything expected, but
never being you. lost soul searching a empty shell of what was and
what could of been. Skin, just skin for the soul that one dwelled is
gone and only the physical remain. Remaining in a sheltered life with
a helpless mate. Being with someone because your expected to be
and it is all you know, Never tasting, or have tasted , but are too
afraid to except what true love is. Longing for change, but being to
weak to change. Living to please others expectations and forgetting
what you truly are and forgetting your dreams. Your dreams stay
dreams and your reality becomes hell. Hell is what you make of it and
life in it is earth and you are all cattle being bred and led to the
slaughter. Not thinking for yourself and letting your life and destiny
be made by those who don’t even know what they themselves want.
For they are cattle just like you. Taking what is given and never
making what is grand. Magnifying little things in life and lose sight of
what is great. One track never looking at the second track, because
risk and chances are not what you want. That risk or chance could of
made all the difference, but you choose to take only what is fed to
you. All like little children nursing off your mommy. Parents are not
parents, because they still are only children themselves but with more
responsibility. Can you say that you are truly happy and never long
for change or something better. Take advantage of the grand scheme.
You only live once.............
MISSING
My life has been missing the love that takes your body
and elevates it to bliss. The type of feeling like when you were a kid
and your mom would give you chocolate and the sweet taste in your
mouth made you only want more. To touch someone and feel a
transfer of heat as your inner souls touch. To tease the skin with
moist little kisses tasting every inch of her body. Moving your hands
rhythmically touching firm, but gentle teasing only closer to the
fountain which makes Men weep. Taking your tongue and slowly
and firmly work the desire forward ever so calmly increasing the pace
throwing your angel into twitches of passion and bliss. T o enter the
barrier drawing oh so close to her body feeling every thing that is
her. Exploring her soul and feeling the ecstasy while nibbling making
the desire never want to end. To taste of such is what makes men
kill. Missing from me is this fateful experience.
All things good must end and whoever said that was right.
TRUE HATE
My mind is lost when consumed by my desire to
punish and destroy him. The desire is so strong that nothing mortal
could stop me from plowing right through him. One punch followed
by more until boy hits floor. Once on floor the kicks begin to come
to the ribs over and over. Then stomps to the head over and over
making a nice soothing rhythm as the skull bounces off the concrete.
Set the boys mouth on that curb as I kick the back of his skull and
continue to kick until the blood flows freely from thy ears. To suffer
in pain and disgrace when I fuck up your face. It was not that pretty
to begin with, you rat face bastard at least now you have pity, but
fuck pity. you do not deserve mercy. I grab his head and twist with
all my rage.....SNAP. the boy now lies dead and my mind can rest for
remorse does not exist for the hatred I feel in my heart. He was
nothing a insignificant little worm, but this is just what I would not
do. Little boy you are lucky that you have your daughter for she is
the keeper of your life for if it was not for her and the consequences
of others missing you and hating me. It is beyond me why they would
but they would and unfortunately I care about two of them people,
so just stay clear, because the hatred may consume me which may
cause me to consume you. Why kill you when you are nothing, but a
selfish, ignorant, unfulfilling, indifferent, irresponsible little boy who
can’t even take care of his own family. You are suffering enough
because you are too weak to fulfill your own needs along with
others. You and her are just a waste of my time.
WOMEN
All for nothing is the end result when trying to find a
little romance and a little love. I love women and respect them very
much, but there is something I can not stand. I don’t understand
myself why I even bother to wine and dine. When all the while they
use and drain. Women bitch and moan about their mate, but listen to
me this is just their bait. bait for what you ask. Why only a sucker
who wants to fuck her. they scream he treats me bad, I’m always sad,
but with you I am glad. He don’t touch me the way you do and can
not make me climax. You are so sweet, gentle, and very passionate.
He is so cold, plain, and even more of a drag in bed even though he
likes to brag. I can see myself with you forever, why did I see him
ever. You are the one, You are my all and this guys is where you
take the fall. You give and give and she takes and takes. Then one
day she runs back to what she hates and for you your life is through.
Back to what she hates and you learn to fear fate. You are only to
satisfy a need and now your soul does bleed. Women feed on the nice
guy and then wonder why you are treated like shit. I hate your stupid
bit. You don not deserve the nice guy for you will only make their
life a living hell. I’m wise to your game and you all are just the same.
LIFE
To take a woman in your arms and feel everything
that is her.
Kissing softly but firmly, teasing every inch of her
body exploring her inner being with swift toungue
and smoothe fingers.
Tasting nature most sweetest nectar allowing the
passion to grip you for the moment.
Never wanting but always knowing it must end.
Walking through the vast wilderness inhaling
the trees, water, and air. Watching the wolf kill the
and the rabbit eat the grass. Letting the life grow
around you not inhibiting it’s growth. Flowing as one
in your rightful place. Exhaling all the pain and
tension that clouds your mind making you lose sight
of life’s simple pleaures. Letting go of yourself not
caring where you go. Feeling the music alive in your
soul. Hearing the cry of an infant just born. Holding
their hand as they take thier first step. Holding them
the night they first wept and crying the first time you
realize that they all have grown up. Lying in bed
staring at the light, not to give fright for you know
this is right. Crossing the river to the unknown
horizon of new hope and new beginnings. To feel, To
breathe, To touch, to see that’s life.
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