For those not familiar with modern slang:
fat=very large
phat=very cool
-Does this make me look fat?
-Phat? I think you always look phat. You're probably the phattest girl I know. It must be hard to be as phat as you are.
People are always stopping and staring, wondering out loud how you could possibly manage to become that phat. You're almost too phat. You'd better watch out. One of these days you're gonna wake up and find that you can't even go outside anymore becuase you're too phat to be seen in public.
-What! How can you say that to me? After all I've done for you!
I cook for you, I clean for you, I get dressed up for you, and you don't even care! That's it, we're through!
-No,no,no! Baby, baby, I didn't mean fat. I meant phat. It doesn't make you look abnormally large. In fact it doesn't even make you look normally large. But it does make you look abnormally cool. They'll have to put a sign on you that says "Warning, Dangerously Phat Woman! Clear the Way!"
-Why? Because I'm too big for people to get by?
-No, Baby, No. Because you're too phat for people to get close to you. They might injure themselves. It's phat with a "ph", not with an "f".
-Oh! So you don't think I'm fat, you think I'm phat.
-Exactly baby.
-Well, why didn't you say so? This whole time I thought that you thought that I was fat. You know that every time I think you're thinking something bad about me it makes me think that you might be thinking of leaving me. I couldn't stand the thought of you not thinking of me anymore. What do you think?
-I think you think too much. Let's go get something to eat. You
need to put some meat on those phat bones of yours.