4.
HOPE, FAITH, AND BELIEF
     SEVEN YEARS AGO, IN THE BEGINNING OF THIS SPIRITUAL ADVENTURE, I
UNCONSCIOUSLY OR CONSCIOUSLY HOPED (I CALL THAT "BLIND FAITH") THAT
THERE WAS SOMETHING OUT THERE THAT COULD HELP ME.  MY SPIRITUAL
ADVISER AT THE TIME, THEN TOLD ME TO PRAY EVERY MORNING AND NIGHT
FOR SEVEN DAYS AND REPORT BACK TO HIM.  I HAD FAITH OF A SORT,
BECAUSE I BELIEVED HE BELIEVED.
     I ASKED, "PRAY TO WHAT?  AND WHY?  AND WHAT DO I SAY?"
     HE SAID, "IT DOESN'T MATTER, JUST DO IT LIKE I SAID."
      WHEN I RETURNED TO HIM A WEEK LATER, HE INQUIRED IF I HAD DONE  JUST WHAT HE HAD SAID.
      I ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I HAD. 
      HE STATED, "GOOD, YOU HAVE ALREADY 'COPPED' TO THE FACT THAT    MAYBE, THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING OUT THERE."
     I ASKED HIM, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE COPPED TO THAT FACT?"
     HE SAID, "SINCE YOU DID IT MORNING AND NIGHT FOR SEVEN DAYS, YOU
     MUST HAVE THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE NOT WASTING YOUR TIME  PRAYING.  IF YOU HAD NOT PRAYED OR ONLY PRAYED ONCE AND     STOPPED, YOU WOULD HAVE DECIDED THAT IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME      AND
WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN OPEN-MINDED ENOUGH TO COP TO THE   FACT THAT
SOMETHING MIGHT BE OUT THERE TO PRAY TO."
     I THOUGHT, "OH, OK, MAYBE THERE IS SOMETHING OUT THERE."
     THEN HE ASKED ME IF I THOUGHT THAT THING I HAD PRAYED TO,   WHATEVER THAT WAS, WAS WORKING IN THE WORLD TODAY.
     I SAID, "WHAT! ARE YOU KIDDING? NO WAY!"
     HE ASKED, "HOW DO YOU KNOW, HAVE YOU LOOKED?"
     I SAID, "WELL, NO, NOT RECENTLY."  HE TOLD ME TO LOOK FOR IT FOR                                                   THE NEXT WEEK AND REPORT BACK WHAT I FOUND.
     A WEEK LATER I RETURNED WITH MY TAIL BETWEEN MY LEGS, THINKING
I    HAD FAILED.  HE ASKED IF I HAD FOUND ANYTHING.  
     I SAID, "WELL, NO, NOT REALLY, JUST A FEW COINCIDENCES."
     HE ASKED, "WHAT'S A FEW?"
     I REPLIED, "SIX."
     SMILING, HE INQUIRED, "WHAT IS A COINCIDENCE?"
     SHRUGGING, I REPLIED, "A SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES THAT HAPPENS 
     OCCASIONALLY, USUALLY FOR THE GOOD."
     "GOOD" HE SAID, "DEFINE OCCASIONALLY."
     "YOU KNOW, EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, EVERY BLUE MOON."
     "OK, WHAT IS A BLUE MOON?" HE INQUIRED.
     I SAID, "WHEN THERE ARE TWO FULL MOONS IN ANY CALENDAR MONTH     AND THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR AND A HALF OR TWO."
     "SO, SIX BLUE MOONS THIS WEEK, HUH, MARK?"
     "OK, WHAT ARE THEY IF THEY ARE NOT COINCIDENCES?"
     "THEY COULD BE GOD INSTANCES," HE SAID. 
      I CONTINUED TO WATCH FOR GOD WORKING IN OTHER PEOPLE'S
LIVES.    I CAME TO HAVE FAITH SOMETHING WAS WORKING FOR OTHERS (I
CALL      THAT "FAITH BY KNOWLEDGE OF OTHERS").  
     ONE DAY HE ASKED ME DURING A DISCUSSION OF THESE GOD   INSTANCES I WAS SEEING, IF I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS WORKING IN MY                                                          LIFE.
     I SAID, "WHAT! ARE YOU KIDDING? NO WAY!"
     HE SAID, "HOW DO YOU KNOW, HAVE YOU LOOKED?"
     I SHEEPISHLY SAID, "WELL, NO, NOT RECENTLY."
     HE SAID, "WELL, WHY DON'T YOU LOOK?"  
     AFTER A WHILE OF OBSERVING GOD INSTANCES IN MY OWN LIFE, I
FINALLY RECOGNIZED BECAUSE OF MY OWN EXPERIENCES THAT I HAD A GOD
OF MY MISUNDERSTANDING (I CALL THAT "FAITH BY MY OWN KNOWLEDGE"). 
AFTER A WHILE I HAD HAD ENOUGH EXPERIENCES AND I WAS WILLING TO
ACCEPT IT WAS WORKING IN MY LIFE AND PROBABLY WOULD CONTINUE TO
DO SO.  WITH EXPERIENCE AND TIME, MY FAITH EVENTUALLY BECAME BELIEF. 
FAITH CAN BE KNOWN AS HOPE.   BELIEF CAN BE KNOWN AS KNOWLEDGE OR
EXPERIENCE WITH SOMETHING.