19.
LIFE, FEELINGS AND OTHER PROBLEMS
     I MAY BE WRONG, BUT I REMEMBER HEARING BUDDHA QUOTED AS
SAYING "LIFE IS A SUFFERING."  IN TERMS OF LEARNING TO DEAL WITH LIFE ON
LIFE'S TERMS,  SOMETIMES I AGREE.  DEALING WITH LIFE'S PROBLEMS AND
FEELINGS IS  CERTAINLY DIFFICULT SOMETIMES, BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE OUR
OWN  PROBLEMS.  THIS IS WHERE MY CONSCIOUS CONTACT AND THE
PRACTICE OF  SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES IN MY LIFE MAKE A BIG DIFFERENCE IN
TERMS OF MY  OWN SANITY, COMPARED WITH MY PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
WITHOUT  SPIRITUALITY IN MY LIFE.  HOWEVER, THE MAIN THING TO ME IS
THAT MY VOID  IS BEING FILLED BY GOD'S GRACE.  TO PARAPHRASE AN IDEA
FROM A FRIEND  OF MINE, "FOR ME, TODAY, LIFE IS ABOUT DAILY LEARNING
ADEQUATE,  APPROPRIATE RESPONSES TO LIFE'S TERMS BY MAINTAINING
DAILY  CONSCIOUS CONTACT AND DAILY PRACTICING SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES
IN ALL  MY AFFAIRS."
     "FEELINGS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN FEELINGS."  THIS SOUNDS LIKE
WORDS FROM A SONG. FEELINGS ARE NOT  RIGHT OR WRONG, THEY ARE
JUST FEELINGS; HOWEVER, WHAT I DO WITH  THEM MAY BE RIGHT OR
WRONG.  NO ONE CAN MAKE ME FEEL ANYTHING  THAT I DON'T WANT TO.  I AM
RESPONSIBLE FOR MY FEELINGS, AND MUST  ACCEPT THEM AND DEAL WITH
THEM AND REMEMBER THEY WILL PASS.
     AT ITS BEST, DIVORCE IS A VERY AWKWARD SOLUTION TO A VERY 
TERRIBLE PROBLEM.  I WOULD NOT WISH IT ON MY WORST ENEMY. 
HOWEVER, IT MAY BE A NECESSARY EVIL, SOMETIMES.  NO MATTER HOW 
HARD YOU THINK IT IS ON THE MARRIED OR SOON TO BE UNMARRIED 
COUPLE, IT IS MANY, MANY TIMES WORSE ON THE KIDS.  HOWEVER, IT MAY 
NOT BE AS BAD AS STAYING IN A HORRIBLE SITUATION.  THERE ARE 
DEFINITELY STAGES OF RECOVERY FROM DIVORCE.  REMEMBER, THIS TOO 
SHALL PASS.  SEEK HELP, TALK ABOUT IT TO FRIENDS, FAMILY AND MAYBE 
EVEN PROFESSIONALS, JUST DON'T WALLOW IN THE PAIN BY YOURSELF.
     SOMETIMES LIFE GETS ME DOWN AND I GET INTO A BLUE FUNK.  THOSE 
ARE THE TIMES I NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT A GOOD FRIEND ONCE TOLD ME 
WHEN I WAS IN ONE OF THOSE MOODS, "MARK, LIFE IS TOO DAMNED 
IMPORTANT TO TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY."
     HUMOR IS SOMETHING I THINK SEPARATES US FROM THE REST OF THE 
ANIMALS.  THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I CAN EITHER LAUGH OR CRY.   I PREFER 
TO LAUGH MOST OF THE TIME; LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE MISERABLE ANY 
MORE THAN NECESSARY.  I HAVE LEARNED THE HARD WAY THAT IN TERMS 
OF LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS, "PAIN IS MANDATORY, SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL." 
WALLOWING IN THE PROBLEM IS NOT THE SOLUTION.  THE SOLUTION IS 
CHANGING MY BEHAVIOR, FACING MY FEELINGS AND WALKING THROUGH 
THEM, AND ASKING GOD FOR HELP.
     MY UNDERSTANDING IS THAT LIFE IS CHANGE.  WHEN WE STOP 
CHANGING, WE ARE DEAD.  I DO NOT KNOW THE ACTUAL NAME OF THE 
PRINCIPLE, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS, "THE ONLY CONSTANT IN LIFE IS CHANGE."  
WHEN I AM IN MY MOST EMOTIONAL PAIN THAT IS WHEN I AM PRESENTED 
WITH MY GREATEST OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH OR CHANGE; IT IS UP TO 
ME.  I CAN CHANGE MY INTERNAL REPRESENTATION SYSTEM OF MYSELF OR 
THE OUTSIDE WORLD OR NOT.  HOWEVER, IGNORING THE NEED FOR THAT 
CHANGE IS DENIAL AND WILL CAUSE ME GREAT SUFFERING.  DENIAL IS NOT A 
RIVER IN EGYPT.  DENIAL IS VERY REAL IN OUR LIVES AND WE MUST STOP 
USING DENIAL AS AN EXCUSE FOR NOT DEALING WITH OUR PROBLEMS.