18.
GOOD VERSUS EVIL

     I DO NOT KNOW IF I BELIEVE IN THE DEVIL, BUT I DO KNOW THERE IS 
EVIL IN THIS WORLD.  EVIL WILL TEAR DOWN OR DESTROY ANYBODY WHO 
PLAYS WITH IT.  EVIL IS: HATEFUL, DECEITFUL, JEALOUS, RAGE FILLED AND 
MURDEROUS.  I AM UNHAPPY WITH THE CURRENT USAGE OF GOOD AND BAD. 
I PREFER TO THINK IN TERMS OF GOD'S WILL OR MY WILL.
     SOME PEOPLE CONSCIOUSLY PRACTICE EVIL BY USING THE EXACT 
OPPOSITE OR THE ABSENCE OF SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES, (DISHONESTY, CLOSE 
MINDEDNESS, UNWILLINGNESS) OTHERS DO IT UNCONSCIOUSLY. HOWEVER, 
BOTH KINDS DO IMMENSE DAMAGE TO THEMSELVES, OTHERS, AND THE 
WORLD AROUND THEM.  THESE PEOPLE SCARE ME.  HOPEFULLY, BOTH KINDS 
WILL RECOGNIZE THE ERROR OF THEIR WAYS AND SEARCH FOR AND FIND A 
GOD OF THEIR UNDERSTANDING.
     IN SICK HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS, AS ADULTS, THE ROLES OF VICTIM AND
VICTIMIZER ARE  INTERCHANGEABLE AFTER THE FIRST OCCURRENCE,
BECAUSE, THE VICTIM  THEN TRIES TO VICTIMIZE OR CONTROL THE
VICTIMIZER.  AFTER THAT BOTH PLAYERS ARE  USING CONTROL AND
MANIPULATION FOR THEIR OWN (SUPPOSED)BENEFIT.   THIS IS EVIL AND/OR
SELF WILL.  NEITHER  OF THESE PERSONS ARE USING  SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES,
THE GOLDEN RULE, OR GOD'S WILL IN THEIR LIVES.  NEITHER IS A MATURE
RATIONAL HUMAN BEING AT THIS POINT.  WE MUST  STOP TRYING TO
CONTROL OTHERS AND REALIZE WE CAN ONLY CONTROL  OURSELVES, IF WE
TRY.  SELF-CONTROL IS GOOD OR GOD'S WILL FOR US.
     MY CURRENT OPINION IS THAT WHENEVER I TRY TO EXERCISE SOME 
POWER OVER THE FUTURE BY ANY OTHER METHOD THAN JUST HARD WORK, I 
AM ATTEMPTING MAGIC. MAGIC IS USING A POWER THAT IS NOT SUPPOSE  TO
BE AVAILABLE TO HUMANS,  IN WHICH WE TRY TO DIVINE THE FUTURE OR TO
CHANGE THE  FUTURE.  I AM NOT CONVINCED THAT ANY USE OF MAGIC SUCH
AS; TAROT  CARDS, OUIJA BOARDS, ASTROLOGY, NUMEROLOGY, CRYSTAL
BALLS,  SPELLS, VOODOO, MAGIC POTIONS, CRYSTALS, AND THE LIKE ARE
GOOD OR  HEALTHY FOR US, HUMANS.  I AM NOT EVEN SURE THESE ARE
MAGIC; THEY  MAY JUST BE STUPIDITY.  I DO NOT BELIEVE IN WHITE AND
BLACK MAGIC  EITHER. I JUST BELIEVE MAGIC SHOULD NOT BE USED BY
HUMANS.
     I BELIEVE I AM MORE EFFECTIVE IF I DO NOT KNOW THE OUTCOME, AND 
DO THE NECESSARY FOOTWORK TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY; THEN I MUST 
LEAVE THE RESULTS UP TO GOD.  MY PROBLEM IS EXPECTATIONS; WHEN I 
SET THEM TOO HIGH, I GET UPSET WHEN THEY DON'T WORK OUT THE WAY I 
WANT THEM TO, THUS, CAUSING ME HEARTACHE AND RESENTMENTS.  I DON'T 
THINK I WANT TO BE THAT POWERFUL AND KNOW THE FUTURE; ALSO I AM 
NOT THAT GOOD IN TEMPORAL MECHANICS AND WOULD PROBABLY WANT TO 
CHANGE THE OUTCOME.  THEN I WOULD MESS UP THE CURRENT SPACE TIME 
REALITY!  WOULD I ONLY WANT TO CHANGE THE FUTURE?  WHY NOT THE 
PAST AS WELL?  IT SEEMS TO ME THAT I WOULD BE TRYING TO BE 
SOMETHING I AM NOT, BASICALLY GOD.