Lesson Four

4) PRECIOUS TIPS

LESSON FOUR.

Here are some precious tips from the book "How to win friends and influence people" (by Dale Carnegie). These are important suggestions to deal with people. You can use it to deal with women and to improve your success with them. Please notice that I am choosing only the best tips from Carnegie's book.

DISCLAIMER: this is MY OWN elaboration about the content of such book. So there is no copyright infringement (even if you believe there is a copyright infringement, you must consider that this is compensated by the free publicity I am providing to such book).

#1 - NODOBY THINKS TO BE WRONG.
Try to see things from the point of view of other people. Try understand the ideas and the desires of other people. Don't criticize, don't condemn, don't recriminate. Warn people about their mistakes in an indirect way. If you happen to be wrong, admit this immediately.

#2 - EVERYBODY NEEDS TO BE GRATIFIED (needs to feel important).
Make people to feel important about themselves (and do this in a natural and sincere way). Praise people in a genuine way. Make them feel as if they have a reputation to protect and defend.

#3 - EVERYBODY IS INTERESTED IN HIS/HER OWN AND IN WHAT HE/SHE LIKES.
Be a good listener: let people to talk about themselves. Talk about what other people like.
Carnegie says: "I like strawberries with cream. However, I know that fishes prefer worms! So, when I go to fish, I don't use strawberries with cream: I use worms to attract fishes."

#4 - FOR ANY PERSON, HIS/HER NAME IS THE MOST IMPORTANT AND SWEETEST SOUND IN ANY LANGUAGE!
This is a powerful secret: call a person by his/her name, and repeat is/name name often! He/she will love you for this. Of course be sure you know their name correctly (don't make mistakes!).

#5 - Behave friendly, show you are a friend.
Smile! (But don't be silly: relate to Lesson Two).

#6 - Dramatize your own ideas!
For example, if you have to say "I love you" to a girl, write this on you T-shirt, or make a large personal ad (with her name) on a newspaper, or send her hundreds roses, or... Carnegie says: "Once one person wanted to sell me certain tools for my office. He said: 'Every time you use your old tools, you are loosing money', and he threw a coin on the floor! The sound of the coin caught my attention and that's why I bought his stuff. If he did not make this, I woudn't care about his stuff!".

Here are some precious tips from the book "How to get the women you desire into bed" (Ross Jeffries). Some of these tips seem to contradict Carnegie's tips, since they are based on strengthening your SELF-RESPECT (this is related to Lesson Two and Three). However, you are smart and you understand that there is no contradiction. You have to gratify the women you want, but you have to keep strong your SELF-RESPECT and your DIGNITY also! You have to create a good balance between these two attitudes. Try to do this, and don't care too much about your mistakes.

#1 - I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MY DESIRES AS A MAN. I MAKE NO EXCUSES FOR MYSELF. I MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD WITHOUT APOLOGY.
This is related to Lesson Two and Three. Of course you have to show this attitude without contradicting Carnegie's rule (gratify other people). You have to find a smart balance between showing your own dignity and desires and to make other people to feel important. If you are able to do this, you will have your reward.

#2 - I DON'T GET RATTLED BY SETBACKS BECAUSE I LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.
Consider that you may make mistakes: accept occasional loss. Glance at what you might have to lose, but FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT TO WIN!

#3 - I DON'T NEED YOU, BUT YOU NEED ME.
YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME.
Jeffries says: "Here is a magic word that will bring you loads of success with women, and get you laid like crazy. The word is: NO! You must be willing to walk away from her if you can't deal with her from a position of self-respect. And self-respect, my friend, is mostly a matter of what you say NO to. It's a boundary set by what is not permitted, tolerated or allowed." Again, do this without contradicting Carnegie's rules.

#4 - BE WARM AND FRIENDLY.
This resembles Carnegie's rule #5. Even the chickiest woman, who is very uptight about being a sex object, wants to feel loved and special. Or look at it this way: even the nastiest person finds it hard to react fearfully or angrily to someone who makes them feel loved and appreciated.
Remember: if you believe you are going to get rejected then you are going to convey fear, and make her fearful. Don't care about your possible failure. Act in a friendly and warm way. If you act as if you truly were someone who everyone liked and received warmly, then that warmth is what your tone and physiology will convey, and that's the response you will get, nine times out of ten.
Practice exercise: this seems silly, but it is very useful! Remember the words to the pledge of allegiance (for American people this is: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all"). Practice, out loud, saying these words with all the warmth and friendliness you can muster. You may feel silly practicing, but this is going to help you to get laid, so just do it! Remember: IT ISN'T SO MUCH WHAT YOU SAY TO A WOMAN, BUT YOUR TONE OF VOICE WHEN YOU SAY IT!!!

#5 - THE FIRST STEP IN ATTRACTING A WOMAN IS GETTING HER ATTENTION, AND THE BEST WAY TO DO THAT IS BY BEING UNIQUE, AND NOVEL, AND DIFFERENT.
Look at meeting women like an ad-man who is writing copy for a newspaper ad. Most people are busy flipping pages, trying to get to the comics section or the sports page. They will only stop if something grabs their attention. It's the first sentence that determines whether they even read the rest of the ad!
So here are the best ways to grab a girl's attention:
- Humor.
- Appealing to her curiosity.
- Putting an unusual or unexpected twist on an old, cliche pick-up.
- Faking like you already know her.
- Appealing to her ego.
Jeffries exposes a "last ditch method" that will work 9 times out of 10. This resembles Carnegie's tip #6.
"Go to your local florist and get a nice bouquet or wildflowers. Write on the card: TO (HER-NAME), FROM YOUR SECRET ADMIRER". Then have a buddy deliver it.
Wait a few days. Go to your local T-shirt store and have them make up a T-shirt. It should say: I AM YOUR SECRET ADMIRER! Put this shirt on under a button up shirt or jacket. Finally go close to her and open your shirt or jacket. Now, that will make an impression. You were clever, different, unique, and went to all that trouble just of her (but never mind that you only have to pay for the T-shirt once and you can use it over and over again...)".

#6 - NEVER GET INVOLVED WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS MORE PROBLEMS THAN YOU DO!
(this is the same as Cardinal's rule #2, that was exposed in Lesson Two)

GO TO LESSON FIVE

Intro