God, ... I'm terribly aware of just how much time I've been wasting along the way. Reading that chapter on time from Spiritual Leadership was terribly convicting. I know everything he said was correct, and I know that I've done poorly. I'm still caught up in this selfish mentality, God. I still want to entertain myself; I want to bring myself pleasure; I want to ... do what I want to do. Forgive me, Lord. And help me get out of this. I'm so captured by the flesh... I know I can't do it myself. I need you. But I'm not sure how to give myself to you. I mean, I know I can do it for a little while, but I always take myself back (if that makes any sense) or I just plain forget as time goes on. How do I get out of that? How do I give myself up to you and leave myself there? Or is it even possible? "With God all things are possible." But not all things are done. We often do not get what we want because you have a better plan for us, and I imagine that a better plan would be for me to grow. But how difficult it is!
I'm starting to ramble, Lord. One way or another, help me give myself up; help me lay down my life, my plans, my goals, everything, for others, especially you. Ruth sacrificed so much, and the results as well as the very story itself is beautiful. Make me willing to sacrifice my security, my pleasure, my 'status' in order to love and serve as you want me to.