Study Tips/Inspirational: The Rewards of Discipline

The Rewards of Discipline

Getting the most out of life - doing what doesn't come naturally!

In October 1982, 25-year-old Linda Down finished the New York City Marathon. No big deal, you say - until you learn that she had cerebral palsy and was the first woman to ever complete the 42-kilometre race on crutches. Linda fell half a dozen times, but kept going until she crossed the finish line 11 hours after she started. Her handicap limited her speed but not her determination.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote: "Great is the art of beginning, but greater the art is of ending." How nice it would be if we all had a resident genie who made every wish a command, every ambition a fait accompli. But between intent and accomplishment is a dynamic called discipline.

Everyone wants the prize, but few consider the cost. Following one of Ignace Paderewski's performances, a patron of the arts is reputed to have said to the great Polish pianist, "I'd give my life to play like that." Paderewski replied, "I did."

Accomplishment is often deceptive because we don't see the pain and perseverance that produced it. So we may credit the achiever with brains, brawn or lucky breaks, and let ourselves of the hook because we fall short in all three. Not that we could all be concert pianists just by exercising enough discipline. Rather, each of us has the makings of success in some endeavour, but we will only realize it if we apply our wills to working at it.

American philosopher William James said that the greatest discovery of his time was that human beings could alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. When you set goals and objectives for your life, you should expect to accomplish them and not stop until you do. I have a strong hunch that our failure to turn desires into deeds results more from wafting wills than legitimate limitations. How often do we shelve our well-laid plans without a fight when they meet resistance?

How can we acquire this stick-to-it-iveness? I know of no simple solution or fast formula. But I have developed a way of thinking that has rescued my own vacillating will more than once. These are its basic elements:

Won't power. This is as important as willpower. As the Bible teaches, "Let your yes be yes and your no be no." The ancient Chinese philosopher Mencius said, "Men must be decided on what they will not do, and then they are able to act with vigour on what they ought to do."

Discipline means choices. Your plans and priorities reflect the choices you make, but not all the options you don't have choose. Every time you say yes to a goal or objective, you say no to many more. Every prize has its price. The prize is the yes; the price is the no.

The late Igor Gorin, the Ukrainian-American baritone, told of his early days studying voice. He loved to smoke a pipe, but one day his professor said, "Igor, you will have to make up your mind whether you are going to be a great singer or a great pipe smoker. You cannot be both." So the pipe went.

Delayed gratification. Dr. M. Scott Peck, author of the best seller "The Road Less Traveled", describes this tool of discipline as "a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and getting it over with." This may involve daily decisions as well as longer-term resolves.

You delayed gratification as a youngster if you ate your vegetables first so you could enjoy the rest of your dinner. You delayed gratification now when you go to bed instead of staying up for the movie because you have an important day ahead and need your sleep.

A young widow with three children decided to invest her insurance settlement in a college education. She considered the realities of a tight budget and little free time but these seemed small sacrifices in return for the doors that a degree would open for her. Today she is a financial consultant with a high income.

Achieve a balance. Never confuse discipline with rigidity. Perfection is not the aim, but rather the peace of mind that comes from being in charge of yourself.

I heard a wise parent say, "I will keep sugar and white flour from my children only until doing so upsets them more than it helps their health. The principle applies across the board. Before you bullheadedly browbeat yourself to carry out your intentions, or mercilessly malign yourself when you don't, consider that you may need to change gears just to feel intact. Likewise, don't let anyone put you on a guilt trip when you stick to your schedule instead of giving to others' whims.

It helps to use rewards as incentives to finish a task. Most of us need interludes in our work to take a walk, sip a cup of tea, eat a snack, watch our favourite programs, take a catnap - whatever revives and refreshes us. Your fresheners don't need to be lengthy to shake out the cobwebs and give some relief.

True discipline achieves a balance of producing, but not pushing; of diligence, not driving. It is a mark of maturity. Even discipline needs to be disciplined.

Self-development. Disciplined people are happier people because they are fulfilling inner potential. A woman at one of my seminars told me about her six-year-old daughter who, as a member of a swim team, practices every morning for an hour, during which she did 2000 to 3000 metres. She related a conversation her daughter had with a family friend:

"Do you like swimming?"

"Yes, I love it."

"Is it fun?"

"No!"

That six-year-old had learned what many 60-year-olds never experience: the joy of discipline. Unfortunately the very word discipline puts us off because it sounds restrictive and punitive - like a truant officer stalking us to make sure we toe the line. True discipline isn't on your back needling you; it is at your side, nudging you with incentives. When you understand that discipline is self-caring, not self-castigating, you won't cringe at its mention, but will cultivate it.

Positive thinking. Occasionally, I catch myself thinking, I have to exercise, or I shouldn't eat that, rather than I want to exercise, and I don't want to eat that. You may say, "It's just semantics. What difference does it make?" It makes a lot of difference.

Dr. John Diamond, a past president of the international Academy of Preventive Medicine, in Lincoln, Neb., has shown how thoughts affect our health. In the middle of our chest, just beneath the upper part of the breastbone, is the thymus gland, which contributes to maintaining an effective immune system. "The thymus is the first organ to be affected by an emotional state," according to Diamond, who explains that a pleasant thought strengthens the thymus, an unpleasant thought weakens it.

Discipline is positive thinking geared to productive ends. But it is not saying that you want to do something that you really don't want (your thymus knows the difference). It is seeing the good in a difficult goal and wanting it and working towards it despite the discomfort.

Habit-changing strategies. Many a person's downfall comes in trying to change a bad habit by focussing on the undesirable behavior instead of on a new behavior to take its place.

Countless people tell me they would like to eat better but they don't want to "give up" the tasty food. They equate nutrition with dull cuisine and deprivation. I suggest that instead of thinking of what they can't have, they think about what they can eat. Fruit juice with sparkling mineral water is a delicious substitute for soft drinks; snacks and cookies prepared with whole grain and dried fruit give candy bars good competition.

It isn't easy to change old habits, because they burrow their way into our lives. But you can always re-route the river and navigate a new course.

I remember my school days and Mom's regular reveille: "Time to get up!" I agonized in bed until the last minute and ran my mother's patience short because she had to repeat her call many times. Then I went away to college and had to get up myself. Finally, tired of waging war with waking, I decided that when the alarm rang, I would rise - just because I wanted to, regardless of how I felt. It worked, and has worked ever since.

Dr. David D. Burns, in Feeling Good, writes, "Motivation does not come first, action does! You have to prime the pump... If you wait until you're 'in the mood,' you may wait forever." When you don't feel like doing something, you tend to put it off, but it's often after we get involved in a task that we become highly motivated.

Discipline itself is habit-forming. A little leads to more, because the benefits prove increasingly desirable. The opposite is also true: A weak will spirals downward, and establishes a pattern of irresponsibility. When you slough off in one area, you will slacken your commitment in other areas. Neglect in discipline comes on insidiously. Once indulgence is in control, you have to re-double your willpower to reverse the spiral. But when you finally overcome inertia, you will feel better all around. We are at our best - physically and mentally - when we are disciplined. Discipline is truly the gateway to the good life.