inner strength's September Ruminations
September 1999 September 2000
When I sold my house and moved in a small apartment in the city last spring, I thought I couldn't be further from my dream. How depressed I was--and sad too for a dream unfulfilled becomes more painful as the years dissolve right before our eyes. I chose to live in an apartment complex on 83 acres. It is nice with trees and a pond, complete with several types of ducks. My back wall is glass and the view is a nice plot of woods. Trees in general are very hard to find in the overdeveloped city I live in. Although this is nice, it just never satisfied my desire to live in nature.
A month ago, I decided to buy one bird feeder. I thought, "If I can't be in the woods in nature, then I will try to bring nature to me." It took a few days for the birds to find my feeder. I saw several types of sparrows, finches, cardinals, doves, and a few birds I have never seen before. I had to fill my feeder twice a week at first. Now I have to fill it daily. The larger birds can't land on my feeder, so I throw seeds on my patio for them to get their fair share. It is fun to watch them eat and fight over the food. It is also interesting to watch my Lab dog and cat sit at the door also watching the birds. All live in harmony. The birds are almost tame now. They will come to the door and even look in on us! There is also a squirrel my dog loves to play with--running up and down the glass wall together is a real treat to watch.
I decided I didn't want to attract hummingbirds so I didn't put up a feeder for them. One day not long ago, I saw a hummingbird buzzing around my Boston fern hanging nearby. I felt sorry for it, so the next day I bought a hummingbird feeder. Now I can add hummingbirds to my list of visitors.
Today, it is raining hard with wind gusts of up to 35 mph from tropical storm Dennis. Too rainy and windy to fill the bird feeders. I decided the birds can just go somewhere else today IF they come. (My mom said birds won't come in the rain.) No sooner had I thought this, the birds came by the dozens. Some looking for the usual daily meal while others to come in from the rain. They looked a bit bewildered at the empty bird feeder and I felt sorry I had let them down. So I threw seeds on the patio for them to eat.
This experience today reminded me of our connectedness with nature. The birds had come to depend on me as I had on them. We are all like family. Then Walden Pond came back to my mind. Walden Pond. Maybe I just am not so far from there after all.
September 2000
copyright 1999 by inner_strength.geo
[October Ruminations]
[Back to August Ruminations]
My dream has been to live alone in a log cabin deep in the woods with animals and my books spending my life writing and living in harmony with nature. This dream has been mine ever since I read "Walden" by Henry David Thoreau. Unfortunately, real life got in the way of my dream--kids, house, job, bills, etc. All the trappings of modern culture in the last decades of the 20th century.
I am homesick. I think I did not make the right decision by moving to the mountains. I loved my previous jobs and family. The city wrecked my nerves quite a bit; however, where I live, I am very isolated. I can hear the crickets late at night...the only sound except my heartbeat. This is like a horror story straight from Poe. I so want to go home! Back to the familiar.
[Monthly Ruminations]