CHAPTER ONE

ACTUAL TIME : Sunday, August 31th, 1998

"Life sucks, it is a fact, I don't care what you say or how you put it." - Brian

"My name is Jacob, I am 16 years old, I've just started the 11th grade. It is August 31th, you can see how the summer is fading away and how the sadness of Autumn is setting in, not to mention schoolwork! My life....has been such a mess, at last, I can say that I am happy, things are finally starting to make sense...I have suffered so much, and I know that there are some things that you can never forget, my life has been marked forever, and I will be forever hurt, but at last, I am at peace, I..--" I paused, I lowered my face, my throat ran dry, my eyes got wet, "..last year was hell for me, but I am glad it's over, it's finally over..."

TIME : Monday, September 1st, 1997, we go back one year to hear Jacob's story...

It was an August just like this one, but it was going to be one like none before. It was 8:30pm, I remember I was watching a movie on one of the premium channels, my parents were out at some sort of meeting, as usual, I didn't care...Suddenly, the radio downstairs was turned on to this loud and annoying rap music, with those loud beats that seem to make the whole house shake, I really hated that, my stupid brother, I thought. I tried to watch the movie, but after a while I couldn't stand it anymore so I went downstairs...

"Could you turn it down??" I asked mad.
"What's your problem!?" he replied back, with a threatening tone.
"I'm trying to watch a movie, could you just turn it down??" I asked, getting madder.
"NO, you little shit!" he yelled.
"Turn it down or I'll call mom, asshole!" I yelled back.
"OH, you're gonna call mom," he said in a Oh-look-at-me-I'm-so-scared kinda voice, "What's she gonna do, huh??"
"You're a such an asshole!" I yelled furious.
"You dickhead, come and say it to my face!" He said, I knew I ticked him off.
"ASSHOLE!!" I yelled even louder.
"Oh yeah!!" He replied, and started to walk towards me, I knew he was pissed, he was so much stronger than I, so I ran back upstairs and he started to run after me. Such a horrible feeling running through my veins, that horrible feeling that I was going to get it this time. I got to my mom's room and tried to close the door, but he easily pushed it open and started to beat me up. The pain was so horrible, and this time he beat me worse than any other time I could remember. Soon my back got bruises all over, and my nose was bleeding cause he had punched me straight in the face, which also caused also my lip to cut itself with my teeth. It was horrible....horrible and painful, but it ws quick though. Afterwards, he got up with his fist closed, and he said "There you go...". I managed to get up after he left; everything hurt, but my stomach hurt the most. With my body bent over and my face all bloody mixed with salty tears that were not mine but of someone else who deserved them, I was able to make it all the way to the bathroom to get some toilet paper and clean up my face. I sat on the toilet and cried, I was such a wimpy oiece of shit, my brother was right....he was right.

My parents came home late, at least after 11, which is when I managed to get to sleep, in my room of course, with the door closed, not locked.That night I didn't have any nightmares or dreams related to my brother beating me up. The first thing I felt when I woke up was someone's hand on my back. I pulled away, it hurt, and I said ouch, and they weren't even touching me that much. It was my mom, who had come in to wake me up cause we were supposed to buy some school clothes and soem other stuff that day...
"What's the matter?" My mom asked me.
She pulled up my shirt and looked at the bruises, she was surprised.
"What's this?" she asked me, I could see she was very scared, she showed it in her shiny bright eyes.
"That was Tony, mom.....he beat me up last night" tears came to my eyes.
My mom got up and after a few moments my mom, my brother and my dad were all in my room looking at my back, my dad, arms closed, my mom, with tears in her eyes.
"What's that!?" My mom asked my brother, while she pointed at my bruises.
"That wasn't me!" My brother said.
"Yes it was, liar!!" I yelled.
"He got into a fight, came home and called me an 'asshole' so I hit him......but the bruises were there already there!"
"LIAR!!" I yelled, my eyes got teary.
My dad interrupting and asked a stupid question, which was so usual, "Did you call your brother an 'asshole'??"
"Yes, but what did he--" I started to say, but I got interrupted by my dad, "You called him an 'ASSHOLE'?? If it would have been me, I'd break your face! Why are you talking like that!?" I got mad, my dad was always on my brother's side, and my mom on mine, that's how this family worked. My mom quickly got into the conversation, "It was wrong, but GOD, look at his back! He got beaten up in the street and when he comes home, this is what he gets!?!?"
"I didn't get beaten on the streets...it was him" I said, but no one was listening to me.

The arguing kept going for a while, then I had to take a bath, and they were taking me to the doctor. They took me to the doctor, it was such a long day, there were bruises, but no bones were broken, no major fractures, so all I had to do was just take good care of the back, not get into fights, and let time heal it, I had to take some vitamins for getting strong or something like that, I don't remember.

School started in the next couple of the day, which I was actually happy about cause I didn't liked being a home alone with my brother so much now. It was the first day at school, and I had just gotten to school and met up with my best friend Brian. He was my best friend cause he wasn't like anyone else I knew, yet he was depressed a lot, I tried to help him, but sometimes it got too frustrating, he wrote good poems, depressing though, but good. I appreciated him as a good friend and companion.

When the bell rang, we each got into the Ecology classroom, Ecology class was the first class of the whole year, oh joy. I remember my best friend did something and touched my back and it hurted, and I said ouch. He looked at me.
"What happened to you??" he raised his eyebrow curiously at me.
I sighed, "My brother....beat me up..."
"Again?" He said, as if it was something common.
"No...this time....was just..awful...my back is all bruised.." I said quietly
"I'm sorry man," he said, " your brother is a real jerk, you know" he said taking out his books and stuff.
"Tell me about it" I rolled my eyes and started to take out my own books.
"My life sucks...at least yours is good" I said to Brian.
"No way, my life sucks....," He said to me "Life sucks, it is a fact, I don't care how you say it or how you put it."
That got me thinking.

The teacher came in, she seemed nice, she started to tell us the things we will need and how we will be doing them, then I knew she was not. My back hurted, I hated it, but I had gotten used to the soft pain I felt of the shirt against my back, which never seemed to go away. At least it was the first day of school and things always went easy the first day, all the teacher started to present themselves and talk and get to know us and tell us how their class will be like. This year I took two new courses, I took Geometry, Ecology, Art, World History, English Literature and English Grammar. Most were boring.....

My good friends at school, besides Brian, were Angel Alexander, Lily, Sheila and Kat, the girls were always together, that's why I knew them all, they were also pretty cute and good-looking! I had kind of a thing going on with Lily, she had soft white skin and her long brown her, with her perfect blue eyes, she was so dreamy! And she had a really nice personality, which also maked me like her even more.

I had 2 classes, then a short 20 min. receess at 9:40am, then I had 2 more classes till 12, and then I had 1 hour long lunch and then the last 2 classes, till 3 pm. It was lunch time, and I was having lunch with all my friends. We had just gotten to the table and we were in silence eating, when Brian said "You know....I saw something moving on the fries, I think it was the leg of a cockroach!!"
I laughed, "Yeah right!"
Kat, who was so picky, quikly went "Ewwww, don't be gross"
Then Lily, oh so perfect, said "You're so full of shit Brian" and she threw one of her fries at him and smiled wide.
Brian "No, I'm not! I saw it, I think they served it to Kat!!"
Brian smiled even wider back at Lily.
I was laughing at the whole thing, when Lily looked at me and asked "What are you laughing about?"
"You guys are nuts, you know that, specially you, and I like that." I answered.
She just smiled back at me, and we kept eating. While Kat, trying not to look obvious, checked carefully through her fries, just to make sure, you know. I looked at Brian and he looked at me, I knew we were just laughing out loud inside ourselves.
Then Brian looks at his hamburger curiously and says "Is anyone else's hamburger meat here rotten?? Cause....um, mine is..."
I laughed, "Well, anyway, what are you guys getting for elective?"
Sheila, who hadn't spoken before, "I think I'm going for French"
"Yeah, me too" added Kat.
That left Lily, I thought "I'm going for theater" Lily said.
Godammit, I thought, but I said "Cool."
"We're going for art" said Brian.
"Where's Angel?" asked Sheila.
"I dunno, but you know him, first day, probably skipped it" I said.
"Yeah, you're right" said Lily.

The lunch was good, like usual, these were the little things that made me miss...no wait, that made me almost miss school during the summer. A week had passed and school had turned into hell, godammit, school sucks! I had a bunch of homeworks, and Brian had begun with his depression waves, a couple of times I tried to ask him what was the matter but nothing, it was frustrating, but I don't don't think it was something very deep. On the brighter side, my bruises had begun to swell down, hey, it had to happen, and my back felt a whole lot better, still pretty sensible though.

My schedule was kinda complicated since my classes rotated and there were 6 different schedule days labeled : A, B, C, D, E, F, anyway.

It seemed kinda complicated, but it really wasn't, I got used to it quickly. School eventually began to get harder and harder, like I knew it would. But hey, no use winning and complaining about it. As the weeks passed Brian kept getting worse, his high's and low's were a roller coaster, one day he was happy, the other depressed, I tried, but he wouldn't say anything, it was frustrating most of the time, I kinda had gotten used to it and I didn't pay much attention to it. What was I supposed to do if he didn't want others to help him??