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mar5/00 - 7.43pm
i'm listening to a song by someone called pavlov's cat. the song is called wasted. i don't know where it came from.... steve?
i'm sad today. right now. just sad. just fine and content and sad. i'm dissatisfyed and i think i'm enjoying it. tomorrow will be the time to heal. the time to go about repairing relationships. i don't want the song to change. and i just said ' i miss you ' and meant it.
just pause, immerse yourself in the familiar lyrical comfort of sarah bishop - friend and foe. i miss her as well. i miss lots of things tonight... it seems..... and i'm not in the mood to write, but i think i will anyways.
so i wonder, what will your response be to that last comment.... i saw you less than 24 hours ago. i've been talking to you all night. what does she mean? what does she mean? do you think i just sent him spinning? we're both so fragile.

You have sent a message! "i miss you..."
You have recieved a message!"i know...im starting to hope the bike trip will fall through just so that i don't have to go a month without you...and it scares me, but that minute fear is obliterated by that heavy, doped up smile inducing feeling you give me....i love you...and i miss you every second im not beside you...and im not just being sappy or mushy or trying to get some kind of reaction or response out of you, im not trying to facilitate purple goo growth, you just make me feel this way, this im certain is love..."
You have sent a message! "how do i appropriately express this half smile half frown half concerned half worried half happy look i'm sure is on my face.... i'm sad tonight and i don't know why. and everything is getting caught up in the loops and spins of this.............. why must i always fall back into sorrow........"

but time keeps dragging on in this incestuous city, like we're waiting for an earthquake, or the end of the world, and i'm struggling to bring myself on board.
- sarah bishop

.... and at that exact moment..........
enough of this. goodnight.