We have been lied to! Who has lied to us? The Church has lied to us. Scientists have lied to us. Even our own government has lied to us. How many of you believe that your government would lie to you? Madam Contest Master, Fellow Toastmasters, Honored Guests, we have been lied to and I am tired of it. I am here to tell you the flat out truth: the Earth is flat.
The bible tells us in Revelations, chapter 7, verse 1, and I quote, "I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth...." And the Church said the earth is flat and square. Yes, the earth is flat, but it is not square. It is round like a saucer. This innocent mistake lead to greater questioning and the Church's authority began to crumble like Twinkies in the hands of a toddler. Did they recant their mistake? Of course not. People began to develop even more bizarre theories. "The earth is a ball." Folks, the Big Blue Beach Ball theory was a joke. No one should have taken it seriously; but someone did.
In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue and just what did he do? Some say he proved the mendacious myth of the spheroid earth. What did he do? He did not know where he was going when he left. He did not know where he was when he got there. When he got back, he did not know where he had been. He told everyone "India" and we were lied to.
Thinking people began to ask, "If the earth is round like a bowling ball, why don't people on the bottom fall off?" I have known people from Australia and they do not cling to eucalyptus trees like frightened koalas to avoid falling into the abyss of space. This is because we are on the same side, the top side of the disc.
The spherists need an answer and theirs is gravity. Gravity is gobbledygook. Gravity is a theory, which Newton fabricated and then obfuscated with so much jargon, and mathematics that the most people timidly accepted its "truth" as something beyond their comprehension. "I don't understand it, so its gotta be true." We surrendered our intellectual integrity, and we were lied to.
Folks, gravity is a lie. Gravity was invented to perpetuate the spherical earth theory. There is no gravity. Some might whine that without gravity we would float off into space. Nonsense! The earth moves through space like the floor of an elevator and we are held to its surface by inertia. Gravity was concocted as a "scientific" explanation so Newton could sleep under apple trees. And we were lied to.
We've been lied to for so long that people now ask me to defend the fact of the Flat Earth. Some ask, "what about people who travel around the world in boats, airplanes, and space flights?" Have you ever noticed that in all the pictures from space all you see is a round, flat, disc? As for going around in circles, well, have you ever gotten lost and found yourself going in circles? There is a reason; you are not stupid; the earth has two magnetic poles - a north pole and a south pole. The lines of flux are so strong that anyone trying to follow a straight line automatically travels in an ellipse. This bi-polar elliptical phenomenon even deceived Einstein. He was so culturally conditioned to believe the balled earth baloney that he declared that space itself is curved. It isn't; it just seems that way, relative to the observer. He got the Theory of Relativity backwards and we were lied to.
Ladies and gentlemen, when we were children we believed many things that are not true. We were lied to about the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the Tooth fairy. As adults, we know better, yet some of us still believe that Montana exists. Open your eyes, see the flat-out truth, and no longer allow yourselves to be lied to. After all, it is an election year.